exploring the garden

Which is all great fun. You’ve mostly stopped putting absolutely everything into your mouth all the time (now it is just most things about 20% of the time), so I feel more comfortable leaving you in the garden as the amount of bark / mulch / spider webs / disgusting things you eat has decreased considerably – you still leave room for a good lunch.

the hose is your favourite - you're seeking it out!

And we’ve been doing some exploring ourselves with you in tow: a bit of bushwalking and whacking around with you in the amazingly wonderful macpac possum backpack that we purchased secondhand on ebay a while ago (which was well worth it). We went away again on the weekend to a beautiful wedding up in Montville:

where we had ample opportunity to go walking with you in the pack – to the village:

walking to Montville village in the pack

and on a 5km bushwalk the next day:

Kondallilla Falls Rockpool Lookout

.

I’m currently reading a book about how children need contact with the natural world:
and whilst it isn’t exactly light bedtime reading, it reinforces for me the importance of all of the adventure and interaction with nature that you’ll need to develop the independence that I hope you’ll find as you get older… It has me reminiscing about adventures down at the creek near Mum’s house growing up, and holidays at the beach camping, and bushwalks where I thought my legs would drop off…

So here’s to lots of exploring the wild and adventures for you!

love mum

Related posts:

1. Some recent photos…
2. Stradbroke Island – the pictorial
3. WALKING!!! – Movie

• fed you at 3:30 am
• fed you at 5:30 am
• said goodbye to your dad as he left the bed to sleep somewhere else ’cause you’re such a noisy eater at 5:35 am
• been vomited on in bed by you at 6:38 am
• attempted to mop-up the vomit in the bed, on me, and on you at 6:39 am (you kept sleeping)
• vaguely thought, “oh shit, I only washed the sheets, the undersheet, the duvet cover and aired the duvet yesterday, great timing!” at 6:40 am as I drifted back to sleep
• been woken by your thrashing arms against my face at 7:08 am (you kept sleeping)
• said goodbye to your dad at 7:24 am as he left the house
• tried to get back to sleep at 7:25 am
• worked out that you had woken up and were wide-eyed at 7:27 am
• tried to ignore the fact it was morning at 7:28 am
• conceded at 7:36 am that your grunting, exertion and ‘poo-face’ facial expression was consistent with the fact you were actually pooing.
• calculated at 7:36 am that you hadn’t pooed for at least 48 hours
• determined at 7:36 am that immediate evasive action was required unless I wanted a pooey and vomity bed.
• lost track of time
• moved you to the bathroom, removed your nappy and assisted you to complete the poo in the bathroom sink in an EC-style manner.
• laughed as you concentrated and stared intently at yourself in the mirror as you finished pooing
• complimented myself on my fortuitous movement of your bum back over the sink after I thought you’d finished.  Was amazed at the amount of poo one small baby can contain.
• gave you a quick bath in the sink
• took the nappy bucket down to the laundry
• scrubbed your pooey nappy from this morning
• put on two loads of laundry – your nappies and your clothes
• had a play and a chat with you on the floor.
• assembled my bike and the bike trainer on the back deck (having brought the bike up to the back deck three days ago and the trainer up yesterday). Step 3 complete!


my bike set-up and your rocker... We're feeding as I take this..

• located my bike cleats (in the very back of the closet – who would have thought)
• cycled for 12 minutes (woo hoo! exercise – ahoy) while simultaneously coo-ing to you to keep you calm (as you were feeling abandoned from the look on your face)
• toasted a muffin and got some juice and managed to wolf it down


you and me. you're getting your fill

• fed you again at 8:50 am while simultaneously reading my email

Gee its busy being a mum

love your attempting to get back into regular exercise mum

ps. oh, and I wrote this post at the end of the feed and its now only 9:06 am.

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2. Ok. People warned me about smelly poos when you moved onto solids. They should have been more specific. Yoghurt is the worst.
3. Not much new to report. I think you're getting bigger, you're kicking around a bit. And the "Pramway" is underway.

Well, doctors, doctors, doctors.  Have spent the majority of yesterday and some of today around hospitals and doctors.

We (you and I) had a fun (not) morning yesterday in the oncology ward at the hospital, watching all sorts of people get needles and drips and what not.   Lots of waiting, waiting.  I was a bit stressed and then just got used to it.   You were pretty content with it all.   Not the funnest place on the planet to be, but not as bad as I expected it to be.

Then today we went to the specialist for my ankle,  remember I sprained it back when you really were only a little Speck?  Well, as they suspected, the orthopedic surgeon confirmed that my ankle needs surgery to repair it so I can walk, run and use it properly again.  They are going to have to tighten up my ligaments, reattach / move the reticulum around the ankle tendons, and then hopefully my tendons haven’t torn and all they need to do is strengthen them out and carve a deeper groove for them in my bone.  If I’ve torn them all to shreds they are going to have to take some tendon from somewhere else in my leg and then use it to repair the ankle.  Bone-grinding goodness.   Yay.   But as we knew, I have to wait until you’ve popped out before any of this can occur.   And once that happens, I am going to be unable to move around so much for a while, so basically I need to be able to pick a time when I can then afford to be on crutches for six weeks post-op to recover.   Yay yay yay lucky me.   So more fun stuff to look forward to.

Otherwise all is well.  You’re kicking around like normal and I’m feeling like a whale.  You and I are off to Sydney for the rest of the week tomorrow morning.  It should be our last plane trip on the way back, as I’m getting up to the no-fly time for pregnant people.   Its going to be busy, but hopefully we’ll get some time to chill out a bit too – not coming back until Saturday afternoon, so a little bit of hang-out and do non-work-stuff time in there too.  Anything special you feel like doing?  Well, you let me know…

love you

mum

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It’s cold! I actually got under the duvet last night for the whole night. First time this year – I’ve been so hot that usually I let your dad have it all (a treat which he is enjoying as I am traditionally a duvet stealer but since I’ve been pregnant I’ve been hot and haven’t wanted it). Bbbbrr. Going to the bathroom five times in the freezing cold is tough. So I stayed in bed until 7:30. Lie-in. Mmm.

I’ve been a busy fat waddler this week. Running about to my yoga and exercise classes. I’m getting quite proficient at rolling my hips around on a fit ball. You generally just seem to sleep through it all, so who knows if you even realise that I’m exercising. I ordered a new fitball for us at home but it hasn’t arrived yet. My favourite exercise is squats against the wall with the fitball – the rolling motion of the ball on my back feels a bit like a massage and helps relieve the pressure that has built-up. I’m not convinced by the “Yogababy” pregnancy classes yet though. Too many people in the class and just a bit of a mish mash of movements like rolling your hips, with maybe warrior pose thrown in for good measure. I think the normal yoga classes with some modified poses are better.

You are very much awake this morning and rolling around down there. You aren’t too bad though – earlier this week I think you managed to get your foot wedged in the space between two of my ribs and just jammed it back and forth for at least 20 minutes. I apologise slightly, but after attempting to get you to move gently I resorted to some relatively strong pushes to get you to move (read – you jab me and I jabbed you back when it got intolerable). At the moment you seem to be active first thing in the morning, and then usually again around 3pm and then again around 6pm. Either I’m sleeping better as I’m going through another really tired phase, or you’re also sleeping through most of the night too. Hope you keep that up! I’m sure you won’t.

Your dad started building the new decking path from the front gate to the front verandah yesterday. He dug a big hole in the middle of the front garden for some support posts, moved the massive piece of rock under the deck that acts as a step, and sledgehammered the step from the footpath right away. The wood and stuff arrived on a big truck (which incidentally took out a large branch on the black bean tree – very unfortunate as it was a branch that gave the front of the house a lot of shade in summer), and he has done some priming on the joists (or whatever they are called) so that today it should all be ready to start laying the structure from the path. The plan is a ramp that goes right from the footpath down to the level of our front deck, so we can just roll you on in your pram. Also, it will be easier for people to walk – less tree roots, and general compost material to trudge through. I think the decking we bought matches the front deck, so hopefully it will look ok. We’re not planning on putting any handrails on it though – so I’m sure as you get bigger you’ll stack it off the side many times – to a 30cm max drop. We’re planning on mulching up around the sides and putting some more garden bed in, so it should at least be a soft landing.

Hope you’re well.
love mum

Related posts:

1. pramway – woo hoo! it looks great!
2. feeling a little stressed and emotional
3. grumpy and emotional

Hope you’re sleeping well…. I certainly didn’t. My maternity pillow certainly helped, but all in all it was a horrible night. I tossed and turned (albeit not with the speed and ease I’m used to) all night, kept awake by a plethora of exciting things: back pain, the nightly possum migration from the neighbours to our house and visa versa via the window awning directly beside our bed, pubic symphysis pain, and a rowdy and recurring bat fight presumably in a fruit tree nearby. Yippee!

Your dad and I walked up to the first of six antenatal classes at the hospital last night. It was a manageable walk, we were both thinking that when the time comes it might be easier to walk to the hospital than drive. That said, I’m glad we have five more antenatal sessions to get to: your dad is directionally challenged at the best of times, and I can forsee him getting me to the oncology ward instead of the mother’s hospital unless he gets to practice how to get there at least a few more times…

The class itself was kinda funny.  It would be really hard to pitch a class like that to such a mixed audience – it was the “changes in your body” or something like that class, run by a phsyio.  Essentially we talked about some of the obvious changes that can happen to your body, and did some exercises to stretch our pelvises and relax and stuff like that.  All pretty straight-forward, and if you hadn’t worked it out by this point in the pregnancy you’d have to have had your head under a blanket pretending you weren’t pregnant.   There were about eight couples in the class, ranging from 25 to 31 weeks pregnant.    We practiced getting in and out of bed and picking a baby from the floor and putting it on a bed and picking it up again.  You were played by a big white hospital pillow.  Well acted.  While it was ok, I’m looking forward to the bit run by the midwives where we get to see the birthing suites and talk through more about baby stuff and less about pubis bones.  I think that will be more relevant to me.

Had another appointment at the obstetrician today.  I’ve hit a new milestone in the weight department.  Yippee again.  Still walking / cycling / yoga or something nearly everyday, but I guess I’m eating more than normal too.  Oh well.  Have a glucose test and a bunch more blood things scheduled for Monday, so hopefully that will prove that I’m all ok and just a bit fat (i.e. not diabetic or anything).   Not much to report from the obstetrician, all he did was ask if I was ok, at which point I burst into tears, and then he hustled me in to take blood pressure and hear your heartbeat.  My blood pressure is all good.  And your heartbeat was a bit irregular but we poked you and it went back to fast again.  Apparently its normal for your heartbeat to change speed a lot, often as I change position etc.  He also palpitated my uterus and your head is pointing down where it should be.  Which I knew already as your kicking my ribs on the bus on the way in indicated where you were quite clearly.

Otherwise. Starting to think more seriously about the fact that you’ll need a name.  Your dad and I have  a few options that we’ve come up with, and one or two we even like.  I guess though we need to ponder some more.  And see you.

Keep safe.

love mum

p.s. last night in between anxiety attacks and nightmares consisting of work and family-related melodramas, I dreamt that you were born, but that somehow there were four of you.  I was trying to leave the hospital and having difficulty working out how to get four babies home.  My dad (your grandad) and my mum (your grandma K) were both there.  I remember I just kept saying over and over to your grandad, “I don’t understand.  There was only ever one when they did the scans.  Where did the other ones come from?”.  He just shrugged and continued to try to help collect you all…

Related posts:

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3. week 30! omg 10 weeks to go. And Antenatal classes Mark #3.

Love you
Mum

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1. Saturday Night Fever. Or was it Staying Alive??
2. Kicking! Like a crazed soccer player. Or maybe you were attempting to practice throwing a frisbee and it was your arms doing all that pushing on my abdomen/bladder.
3. goodness, is this a practice endurance workout?

View from Milson's Point across the Harbour

Luna Park at Milson's Point

Pram Assembly - Mark 1

Pram Assembly - Mark 2

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3. Not much new to report. I think you're getting bigger, you're kicking around a bit. And the "Pramway" is underway.

We made it! We are finished and eating muffin and hot chocolate in a cafe. Mmmmmm.

You will thus be spared any more bumpy days. You’re 22 weeks today, and according to Kaz there are some who say that you begin to think this week. I wonder what you have been thinking?? Bump, ouch, ohh, mmm? I’m hungry I wish she would eat more.. Mmm sugar rush. Bump.

Also I guess maybe you’ll feel a little less constricted without a pair of too tight bike pants holding you in.

Looking forward to the wedding tomorrow and just chilling out for the rest of the day. You’re moving around down in there, I can feel it, enjoy.

Love mum

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2. Brisvegas Adventures – Christmas is coming!
3. Yoga mark two

My bum is sore. The ‘comfort’ seat on my rental bike is a misnomer. It is the opposite. While the trail is beautiful the sore ass is affecting my enjoyment slightly. Also, you seem to be growing at an alarmingly fast rate. So my protruding belly is not quite fitting so well into the bike pants.

All otherwise though is good. You are happily (I assume) kicking away down there and I’m eating lots of good food along the trail. And we are staying in a huge luxurious apartment tonight in Ranfurly with a massive big spa. Good for you too: some floating.

Love you
Mum

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You’re very quiet down there this afternoon, I expect you’re taking it easy after a rather energetic day of cycling…

We left Dunedin this morning and caught the Taieri Gorge Train up to Pukerangi. It was a lovely trip, you could hang out in the space between the old train carriages and while cold, it was beautiful. I took a photo of you about 7km out of Pukerangi.

We got picked up by a slightly crazy but lovely local woman who gave us a tour and took us to Middlemarch, where we picked up our bikes and headed off down the trail. Today isn’t so far, just 30km, so after putting my heart rate monitor on so that I can make sure I don’t overheat or stress you out, we rode along at about 15kmh. A good pace, nice for chatting with the South African guy your dad and I met on the train and was keen to accompany us for some company part of the way (he was going a bit further than us).

So, we cycled along and had a nice time.. I didn’t notice you until I started to get a little tired and slightly saddle sore, when I really noticed the extra weight and bulk around my tummy. The slight tightness of my worn-low bike pants also added to the effect. I feel the bumps, all varieties, a lot more. Overall, a good ride but I was tired at the end and VERY glad to find a well-appointed room with a big claw-foot bath when we arrived.

I had a big long soak.

Love you
Mum

Ps. I’m famished and am going to eat a lot for dinner.

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I’m tired and grumpy again. I’ve been sleeping badly – what with the heat and you randomly kicking me in the middle of the night and generally squishing my bladder into what must surely be only slightly bigger than pea-shaped judging by the number or times I have to pee. I think I’m fighting off a slight cold too. And we are moving house this week and packing isn’t fun and its all a bit stressful. I hope you just chill out down there and its not affecting you too.

You, your dad and I enjoyed a swim in Leichhardt pool yesterday evening. It was hot yesterday and it was good to get in a pool with you and feel almost my normal weight again, and cool at the same time. I did some treading water for 20 minutes to get some exercise. Your dad and I were wondering whether you could tell that we were swimming and if it felt different to you? Can you feel the pressure of the water too? Your dad suggested maybe it just sounds a lot quieter to you when underwater as sounds are more muffled. You certainly seemed to sleep throughout it.

Hope you’re well.

love mum

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You have got bigger and stronger for sure!  Last night I felt SOLID big kicks/movements for the first time.  It was after watching the tennis, I went to bed and couldn’t sleep, so lay there and felt you moving around for a bit.  You really felt like you were wriggling around a lot.  I’ve read that you are more likely to be active at night as my walking about and moving rocks you to sleep during the day.

So, with my hands on my stomach, I laid there and practiced my yoga breathing and pelvic floor strengthening exercises (the fear of you tearing when you come out outweighs the laziness and I’m doing them every day).  Anyway, that seemed to stimulate you even more, and you went a little bit “Hi, I’m here, stop that and give me some attention.  No?? Well, I’ll just kick/punch you as hard as I can repeatedly!”  Or maybe, to be more  <mindblank word has disappeared. baby brain.  Insert appropriate word here>, you were perhaps just testing newfound strength in your little body and saying hello as best you know how.

I lay there for a bit longer and decided that not only could I feel you from the inside, but my hands could definitely feel you too.  So I woke your slumbering dad up (he is a bit used to it ’cause i do it relatively frequently when he has just fallen asleep in 3 seconds – or less – and I lie there for hours); and after listening to him grump a bit, got him to put his hand on my belly and push gently down near my bladder.  And you obliged and remained practising the kicks/frisbee-throwing action.   At first it was a bit softer, so I waited and then said out loud when you did a big one.  He didn’t feel it, but about half a second later you did an almightly HUGE GINORMOUS big one and he withdrew his hand in shock and disbelief.  I think he liked it but was actually a bit scared,  or shocked at how strongly he felt it.   Your dad then immediately went back to sleep after assuring me he felt you too.  So there.  You have made bodily contact with your dad and me now.  Good one.

This morning you are at it again.  Maybe you are hungry and letting me know.  I will go find some yoghurt & fruit to satisfy my and your hunger.

love you.

mum

p.s. we get to see you today for our check-up scan.  I hope all your bits are there and in the right spot.  I was worried about it last night so your kicking/punching was very well-timed ’cause it really helped put me at ease.  You really must have been doing a big aerobic workout so all your heart chambers etc must be fine, surely.  Anyway, we’ll see today. Hope the noise & intrusion doesn’t bother you too much.

xxx M

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I am grumpy and emotional today.  Your dad is really annoying and has yelled at me and made me cry.  And I told him I hated him.  Which I don’t.  But I was upset at the time.  Anyway.   Hopefully it will abate by tomorrow.  If its not all your dad’s fault it must be all your fault.  Not mine at all.   (kidding).

Otherwise.  It has been very busy here over the past few days.  Your Aunt 3 arrived on Thursday night and has been staying, and then Aunt 2 & D arrived for a night on Friday, and your dad came home too.  So there was a full house and we had a big breakfast all together in the garden yesterday morning before I headed off to yoga again and Aunt 2 & D went on their way.  They took away the little green car that your Dad and I bought when we were both at university and had been going out for just over a year.  It was a bit of a funny feeling to see it go.  Your dad lived at the Gold Coast and I lived in Brisbane when we first met, so we were forever catching the train and bus to each-others houses for the weekend and during the week, and borrowing cars whenever we could.  But it was a lot of travelling, so we looked forward to getting a car together.  Your Grandad lent us the money and we bought the little green car after a month or so of research.   It had been owned by an old lady and not driven much, and was in pretty good condition.  Anyway, 7 years, lots of camping, shopping, holidaying and general driving around later, it got retired a few months ago when we got a new second-hand car.  Not in your honour, we’d planned to anyway, but the new car has air-con (essential in Brisbane with a kid) and is bigger and has 5 doors so easier to get you in and out of.  So not sad to lose the old green car, but a little nostalgic.  We gave it to your Aunt 2 & Aunt 3 for Christmas.  Hopefully your Aunt 3 will get her licence so she too can drive it.  ‘Cause we don’t actually drive all that much, we tend to bike and walk quite a bit and bus and train and what not, although its pretty old now it doesn’t have many kms on it, so they might get some good use out of it.   See, I am somewhat emotional for some reason.

Yoga makes me feel a bit better – its been really nice this week to finally be able to get off my bum and do some exercise after being chair-bound for the past few weeks with my ankle.   Its making me feel more like a human and less like a lump that is incubating an alien and getting fatter by the day.   Its a strange feeling to be getting big – exciting cause I’m growing with you, but scary at the same time as I need to start thinking about the fact that while the fact that you’re getting bigger is good, the bigger you get the harder it is going to be to get you out.   I have started reading the Janet Balaskas New Active Birth book more earnestly than my previous cursory glances.  And have found a few places in Brisbane that offer Active Birthing classes for me, you and your dad to go to before you’re due to come out.  So we can practice and learn more about it.  I think we’ll book in for some soon.  Your dad is keen too.

your home - week 19

Yesterday was pretty active.  Yoga, then me, your Dad, Aunt 3 and Deano went snorkelling at Gordon’s bay.   Your Aunt was very excited to see some Groper as long as her arm.   It was pretty cold in the water though, apparently there was a north easterly swell which brings cold water from somewhere.  A bit brisk.  But beautiful  – blue and aqua-green and a lovely day at the beach.   We then went for lunch & GOOD icecream at Pompeii’s in Bondi Beach.     Mmm.  I definitely need a new icecream maker though.  Mine just isn’t working as it should.  Not freezing properly anymore.

Cokemeister came for dinner and your dad made lovely moroccan fish with a rub he made and some hommus and a fennel and cabbage salad.  Yum.  And a berry (strawberry, raspberry and blueberry), biscotti and hot chocolate sauce thing for dessert.  Very replete.

Hope you’re well and not picking-up my grumpy vibes.

love you

mum

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2. Welcome to week 23
3. Happy 16 weeks! 4 months. OMG its going so fast! Yoga, cookie / biscuit cravings and more.

How are you? Very quiet down there again, perhaps you’re busy digesting the large amount of food I have consumed in the past 24 hours. Some days I seem to just need to eat a regular amount yet other days I just feel like I’m starving and need to eat everything in sight. Yesterday was one of those days.

Your dad and you will be pleased to know that despite my tendency to eat relatively crap food and make little effort when it’s just me, I went and did a big healthy shop when I got home from work on Monday night, so we’ve been snacking on guacamole, peaches, nectarines and almonds mostly. One of my friends from work made me a huge batch of Indian rice custard after hearing about my recent addiction, so as that has no sugar but just reduced milk that is pretty good too. And I made palak paneer last night so we both got our spinach quota for the week.

What else? Well, I seem to be moody again. I helpfully told someone at work today who pissed me off only ever so slightly that ‘I don’t give a s* anyway, I’m having a baby and will be leaving and won’t be here when it happens anyway’.. Mmm, not really what I was thinking, just an over zealous outburst.   Your fault again.

Also went along to yoga last night.  Coke-meister bailed on me but I went anyway.  It was a normal level 1-2 yoga class at the great studio I went to with you dad for a while over a year ago.  We both enjoyed our courses there a lot, and the teachers are really good.   It was interesting – I got to do a few different exercises while everyone else did headstand and shoulderstand and a few other abdominally-taxing exercises, and I have to step in rather than jump, but it was good.  I think I’ll keep going to pregnant yoga when I can also, but this is a good option for me for the next period as we move back and forth between Sydney and Brisbane.  My ankle is much better and I have got a brace for it which helps with remembering to keep it in mind.

I didn’t feel you kicking around much last night but I think you were definitely on the left side still – you put me off-balance slightly.

Hope you’re well.

love you

mum

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2. … and I continue to eat. This time to console myself. And you.
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Feeling a bit shit today.  Ooops, bad mum.  Your dad keeps harping on at me about how I’m not going to be able to swear with a baby / child.  I guess I should make an effort.  Anyway.  I feel a bit crappy today.  The whole, “I sprained my ankle” thing has turned into “I may need surgery on my ankle to be able to use it properly again” after a visit to the physio.  Damn damn damn. And I am annoyed that the first physio I went to the other day immediately after straining the ankle was so crap.   She had no idea, and just taped it up.   I knew she was crap, that’s why I booked back in for my normal physio on Saturday.  I figured at the time that really too much treatment close to a sprain is not really helpful anyway, so I’d just rest and then get better treatment on Saturday.  But unfortunately yesterday he basically said there wasn’t much he could do and I need to go and see an orthopaedic surgeon for an opinion.  And no walking, cycling, yoga, swimming blah blah blah in the meantime.  Yeah, I know I should keep positive until I get that opinion.  Which is what I did yesterday.  I just can’t do it today.

Coupled with the fact that all the pairs of shorts I tried on this morning didn’t fit, and it wasn’t so much the belly only being the problem as the ass and legs as well, I got a bit, “I’m going to turn into a big fat pregnant blimp and I can’t even go for a walk!  I feel horrible!”.  Kinda whiney.  It didn’t help that I spent the whole morning lying down re-reading a book (a good one – The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri): reading for too long puts me in a bit of a funk too.  And then when I’m done reading not being able to really walk around all that much to enjoy the gorgeous day just pees me off even more.  I’m putting it down to you as well.  Have been feeling really good but I guess with exaggerated highs come exaggerated lows.  And for the first time I’ve let worry really panic me a bit.  I haven’t felt you moving for a day or two and I’m worried about you.  Its silly, because no matter what there is nothing that can be done, but it would be nice if you could just give me a few good strong kicks.  Try the kidneys.  Yes, slightly masochistic too.   Today is a bit low.

So again, it is with food that I console myself or attempt to focus on positives and fun things.  A friend was asking me the other day if I have been craving anything, or if I have really noticed wanting milk ’cause apparently babies growing in bellies need a lot of calcium.  Apparently, you will suck it out of my bones if you don’t get enough in my diet (You really are a fully-blown parasite, huh?   Trying to kill me with osteoporosis before you’re even born).   Funnily, I didn’t think I had been craving dairy – I do eat yoghurt for breakfast with fruit most days, and lotsa cheese.  But then when talking to her I realised that I have been having a few hot chocolates at work throughout the week, and have even had a few milkshakes too, just ’cause I felt like it.  I usually really don’t like milk.   Once a year I might get a craving for a milkshake.  Usually strawberry.  Your dad groans and tells me that I don’t need one.  I insist for the next hour.  He gives in.   We sit down and I get through about half.   Then I give it to your dad to finish as I feel so full I couldn’t possibly drink another sip, even though it tastes good and refreshing.   Then I start to feel ill.   I keep the ill feeling to myself for about half-an-hour until it gets kinda bad, then I usually let out a big, “I feel sick, I need to lie down” groan.  Your dad says, “I told you so, you shouldn’t have had that milkshake”.  I think, “But I enjoyed drinking it”, but keep that to myself to elicit maximum sympathy.  There is none forthcoming from your dad.  He’s not good on sympathy when you’ve ignored his advice (heed the warning).

Anyway, I have noticed dairy related desires.  I won’t put them down as cravings, more as desires.  So yesterday for some reason I really felt like eating that greek-style rice custard that you can buy at the markets in West End and a few other random places.   So after dragging myself around the house feeling sorry for myself, I’ve managed to cheer myself a little but cooking it.  Pretty good first effort too (if I do say so myself).  I’d tweak it next time to make it milkier and less rich, but it tastes good.  Ryzogalo is apparently the name.  Have eaten a large bowlful and now feeling slightly less morose.

ryzogalo - yum.

your dad eating ryzogalo

Hope you’re well.  Kick me would you. please.

mum

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So, Happy Week 17! You are apparently 13 cm long this week, 150 grams and you wee every 45 minutes. And then you drink it when you take big gulps of amniotic fluid. Gross. No wonder kids (and I guess adults alike) love peeing in the bath. It must remind them somehow of the months they spent doing the same in their own little growth-in-utero phase.

I haven’t felt you moving around too much over the past few days, but that could be because I have had to keep my feet up and not do too much – sprained an ankle at frisbee on Tuesday night. I’m blaming it on you – well, on the extra weight I’m carrying around that just put a bit too much strain on an ankle trying to turn quickly and stepping in a hole at the same time. I think, unfortunately, that as there are only a few weeks left in the season, that will be it for me. I might head along for the finals to eat pizza and chat with people but otherwise not much chance of more playing until after you’re born. I think my team were a bit worried that I was overdoing it anyway, so are kinda happy that I wrote myself out.

its worse than it looks. I'm a limping wounded person.

my strapped ankle

Its also been boiling hot – almost 40 degrees for the past few days.  So moving greatly even without an injured ankle is a large effort.  I’m looking forward to a beach trip tomorrow to cool off.

Hope you’re well, thinking of you. Don’t ingest too much pee!

love mum

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3. … and I continue to eat. This time to console myself. And you.

I am feeling horrendous again today.  I think it was the wheatbran I had on my yoghurt for breakfast.  It just gave me a stomach full of gas.  I’m resembling a human drum again.  Unbelievably painful. Erk.

Enough of me.  What of you???  Well, yesterday you were 16 weeks way through your uterus-living phase.  4 months! OMG.  Only 4 weeks to go and we are at 20 weeks which is halfway!  That is crazy.  It seems to be slipping by very quickly now.   According to Kaz this week you are 11.5 cm long. And even more shocking, when I just opened a packet of gas-ease type of things I got in a baby sample bag from the hospital yesterday there was a bit of ruler/paper thing that opened out to show how big you would get each week and it says you’re going to get to 52 cm long when you’re born. That is just horrendous. How the hell do you fit inside my stomach if you’re that big???  It just doesn’t make sense. I’m only 162cm tall, so I just don’t see, even if you are curled-up in foetal position, ball-like, how 52cm of you can possibly fit in any space inside my stomach. Even if my body was different to all other humans and let you start to fill the big chunky spaces in the tops of my thighs. Well, maybe then, if one of your legs went down each of my legs… Enough of that though, that is impossible. You’re just going to have to limit your growth to a more reasonable size. Think of small and round and healthy and happy rather than long and lanky. I am going to look like a beach ball though, aren’t I? No matter what happens.

Apart from your size, this week you are supposed to be growing toenails. Toenails huh? Hopefully you’ll get your dad’s type of toenails and not mine. Mine are misshapen and not suited to women’s shoes at all. Your dad’s are much neater, standard and consistently sized. You should also be getting lanugo (downy hair) starting to grow all over your body. I trust this is happening. Most alien movies I’ve seen the babies and aliens don’t have much body hair, so I guess that if you get this hair I might start to think of you less as an alien and more like a person. Good luck with that too.

I had a big baby day yesterday, in and around working. Your dad and I toured the maternity ward of the hospital here in Sydney that you’re booked into. Hopefully we won’t be using it unless you come early, but best to have an option in case that does happen. Your dad got really excited and looked extremely happy (read grin from ear to ear) whenever we walked past dads holding tiny little bundles walking around the ward. In fact, we didn’t see any new mums, just 5 or so new dads with tiny bundles. I got a bit scared looking at all the medical equipment. The rooms / birthing suites were nice and big with lots of room, but were still pretty boring. Your dad and I agreed that even though there is a spa bath in them, it would be better to hang out at home for as long as possible cause the idea of being in a green room with low ceilings, fluoro lights and lots of medical bits and pieces for hours and hours, even if there is an exercise ball and bean bag, wasn’t that appealing. We might not have that choice depending on what happens, but home sounds more comfy. It was a pretty chilled-out feeling place though compared to other wards I’ve been to in the hospital. All in all, ok.

Next baby thing was that unfortunately we missed out on the ballot for the Natural Birthing centre spot at the RWBH. I think I mentioned that we entered in it before. Anyway, that means that we have to have the baby somewhere else. Which makes the decision we were going to have to consider about private vs public for us. And means that we’re planning to have you at the Mater in Brisvegas, where all your aunts and uncles on my side of the family were born (apart from aunt 2 who was at home). And where I was born. And its close to our house in Brisvegas, so even if there is a traffic jam I think we could walk there if you were on your way. Your dad and I are happy with this – we entered the birthing centre draw so that we had an option or two to consider, but it will work out this way too.

Speaking of jam, I started getting cravings for Jam Drops again yesterday. I notice your numpty grandmother has posted a recipe for me in the comments from last post to you, but its the wrong one. Who makes jam drops with a madeira recipe? I think I can make up the one I made before, so I might just have to do that. It was basically flour, butter, sugar and milk and jam. I’ll give it a go. Strange thing to crave, but there it is. Thanks anyway grandmother. I might try those another time but I’m really after the same thing as last time. Speck you like them, I can tell, otherwise you wouldn’t be making me have cravings.

I didn’t feel you last night / this morning, but pretty sure you got very active during and after yesterday’s very strenuous yoga workout.  First organised antenatal yoga class.  It was quite good – though I think you and I would have struggled had I not gone to yoga classes before and understood a lot of the poses from previous yoga experiences. There were only two other women in the class and they were both 16 weeks and in their first class too. I found myself perhaps not so discretely checking out (read: trying hard not to openly stare at all opportunities) their baby bumps. Mine was I think the least noticeable, though I don’t think the smallest. One of the women was tiny tiny, so her bump, while small, really stood out.

Pregnant Yoga Take One: to me, it felt really different being pregnant and doing some of the poses. I could really tell my centre of gravity was different with you down there. And I was really aware that there was a section of my abdomen area that didn’t stretch or respond to some of the poses in the way it used to. And some bits that are normally really flexible and fine were a little tender (like the groin area, though that could have been from all the cycling and frisbee but it was so pronounced I reckon it is shifting stuff around that area). Another thing I noticed was how sore my feet got afterwards. I really worked out the arches. Could be just ’cause I haven’t done it in so long, but I suspect the additional kgs I’m having to support makes a difference too. It felt really good though. I liked being aware of you down there. My breathing when doing it really moves up and down the spine a bit more and pushes out the abdomen to an exaggerated extent from normal. I guess it will get much harder to breathe as you get bigger. The instructor said that when you’re much bigger you’ll most likely join in on some of the poses and do some kicking and moving of your own, and that if you move around too much or head to one side of the uterus then my balance will be off and it will be hard to hold some of the poses. I look foward to that. Your grandmother was in charge of finding me somewhere local to go in Brisbane from April onwards. Hope she remembered.

Anyway, must run, stuff to do. Thinking of you down there with your toenails and hair.

love mum

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How are you today? Hopefully not too shaken up from the frisbee work-out last night?? I’m a little bit tender in some slightly unusual places, but otherwise feeling pretty good.  Did I mention that I bought a heart-rate monitor so that I can monitor how I’m going with the exercise and not exceed the doctor’s recommendations??  Well, I did.  And I’ve used it a bit on my bike (which is now as you know set-up with the stationary bike trainer in the lounge room – it rocks), where at first I found it impossible to stay in the target range of around 140 bpm but have since worked out you can only just peddle a little with low resistance (so I’m aiming for longer at less intensity).   But was hard to use at frisbee because really I’m reacting to what is happening on the field, and its not necessarily easy to focus on what my heart rate is doing.

Last night:  total workout time 1 hour 45 minutes with an average heart rate of 162.  I think that is a little high, I saw the monitor peak at about 184 a few times, but I really don’t know how you can exercise without getting your heart rate up.  And my resting heart rate hovers around 92 upwards to 100 anyway.  I figure that as long as I feel ok myself, and don’t push it too hard, you should be all ok.  If you’re not getting enough blood or whatever, then I’m sure I’ll be feeling pretty crappy too.  And I felt fine.   So.  Hope you enjoyed it.  My back is surprisingly fine this morning.  Last time I went it was a bit achey the next day.  I am famished today though.  I have just eaten a huge serve of spanakopita for breakfast but still need something else.  Forgot to chuck more fruit in my bag for work this morning.  I brought a bunch with me yesterday but seem to have eaten it all already.

What else is happening?  Well, since I went last to visit B & M at Bellingen/Repton, I’ve been doing some more investigation on the type and make of pram I think we’ll be after.  Not that I’m obsessed with buying baby stuff – in fact I would almost say the opposite – no big urges to go out and get stuff for you yet, but I am starting to think about it with some encouragement.  In the pram department, Mountain Buggy is looking like a winner at this stage – your dad was convinced from the get-go, especially seeing how well it handled with a fully grown adult in it at B & M’s house!  I’ve used one over rough ground with M at the markets, and it was easy to steer with one hand over gravel, and we both are pretty active, so it sounds like a go.  Went and looked at them at DJs the other day, and compared to a few others, and we both liked the Mountain Buggy the best.  I went shopping last friday in town and stared intently at all the prams going by, and watched how easy they were to use, what the people using them had draped over them to keep stuff on, whether they had storage, whether they fit on the escalators, and all that stuff.  I chatted to a few people while trying on shoes and the like to get their opinions.  All good stuff.

At frisbee last night out of the 5 girls on my team who were there, three of the other 4 apart from me have little babies, and all of them have mountain buggies and couldn’t speak more highly of them.  I think that such volume of positive accolades is a winner.  Now your dad and I just need to decide whether we need some of the accessories like the bassinet etc.  Again, everyone I’ve spoken to about it who has had it says that while its kinda expensive especially as you’ll only use it for a little while, it was really fantastic when they had it.  So we’ll see.  And I think as we’re going to New Zealand for a wedding soon, we might be able to pick it up a little cheaper, and I think they sell some attachments there that you can’t get in Australia, like the car seat clip thingy that allows you to attach some brands of baby seats straight from the car into the pram bit.  Might be kinda handy.

So.  As you can see whilst I don’t obsess about baby goods and the like, get me started on a path and I can become quite excited and interested and no-doubt bore those around me to tears on the subject.  I’ll have to keep that to a minimum if you’re to have a sane mother with rational, normal friends and family (read – non-baby obsessed and living in the real world) to help her through the first bit of when you come along.  Otherwise they all might run screaming very quickly.

Anyway, hope you’re well.  It’s a little cooler today (hopefully) so maybe it will be a bit more comfortable for you down there.

Love mum

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I am feeling particularly well today!  Slept well – we are in our own very comfortable bed in Sydney again.   I woke up and felt you having a ‘flutter’ this morning while I attempted to sleep in (but was thwarted by your Dad’s phone ringing.. aagh); then had a relaxed morning of reading my pregnancy books (I left them at home while we were away) for you week 14 and week 15 (’cause that is tomorrow).  Your dad came and did some reading of them with me.  His comments weren’t particularly helpful – like ‘your gums might start bleeding – you’d better floss better every day’ and ‘oooh – vaginal discharge – yuk…  Have you got that yet???… Phew it stinks in this bed’.  In his normal charming manner.   But apart from that, and feeling like a beached whale, I was happy.

And I’m ready to face the new year and going back to work and what not with you in the picture.  I’m not going to study this semester, so hopefully your dad and I will have some time to do some fun stuff together before you come along, and really enjoy living in Sydney over the latter half of summer.  Your dad set my bike up in the living room for me last night so I can get back into pedalling (safely without any cars around) whenever I like from now on – which is exciting. 

This morning we also started some pregnancy yoga exercises from Janet Balaskas’ “New Active Birth”…  And they were good!  Your dad read them out aloud and did some with me while I gently tried to stretch different parts of my back, abdomen, legs etc.  All in order to make this whole pregnancy thing more comfortable for me, and to try to make sure you slip out easily when the time comes.  They weren’t particularly crazy – just like regular yoga but concentrating on the pelvis quite a bit.  All in all I felt really good afterwards – after being in the car driving for the past few days things had got a little stiff and the release of the stretches helped.  Hopefully we’ll be able to make time over the next few weeks to work our way through all of the exercises in the book then I can do them on my own each day before work or something like that.  Hope you enjoyed them too?

I gave you a little massage afterwards.  Apparently you can perhaps feel my massaging at this point.  You’re almost 8.5 cm long, which seems big when I look at the size of my stomach.  Yes, its got more solid and bigger, but its not huge.  I just look a bit fat really, unless you know I’m pregnant.  I do feel beached whale-like, but since we’re back home I’m going back to healthier eating and exercising etc…

Must run – off to get ready to go camping tonight for New Years Eve.  We’re off to Cockatoo Island in the middle of the Sydney Harbour where some friends have booked a campsite and we will watch the fireworks herald the new year.

Love you

mum

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first swim for you today. We went to Coogee this morning for a dip cause the weather was beautiful. The beach was full of thousands of surf lifesavers, but it was still fun – had a bit of a swim, the water was cool but not freezing, and we floated out on the waves for a while. I was feeling pretty crappy last night: sick, tired and just erk, so it was fantastic today. The water was a nice clear blue green colour and it just felt good.

Hope you enjoyed it!

love mum

ps your grandad just rang and he says that you have much less than a 1/4 chance of falling out, its more like 16%. He quoted statistics at me to make me feel less worried, i think. So good for him, and good news for you !

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