my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Hiccups. Again. Its one of the strangest feelings I’ve ever felt. And Antenatal Classes Mark #5. May 1, 2009

Hello Little Spectacle,

How are things going with you?  All well with me.   You’re awake and down there hiccupping again.  It must be that time of day. Its one of the strangest things I’ve ever felt.  Apparently it could be you practicing breathing by exercising your diaphragm.   You started it last week.  And have continued almost daily since then.  There is a sort of popping kinda feeling down in my uterus.  It almost feels as though there is a membrane in there somewhere going in and out.  A bit like the silver top from an old-fashioned bottle of milk coming off.  Repeatedly.  Inside me.   So, yeah, a bit weird and freaky.   But also, now that I’m used to it, comforting in some strange way.

Antenatal classes continued last night.  Your dad wasn’t keen to go, pramway construction having reached an impasse for the day – a few little niggly mistakes in the pramway causing a bit of back-tracking had put him in a particularly foul mood.   However your craving for potato-gems for dinner (all you, not me at all) I think helped lift his spirits, as did the fact that his planned dentist visit wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be.   Thus, belly-full of fried, baked and rolled-in-sour-cream oily potato goodness (with some coleslaw thrown in for good measure), we trundled off to the hospital to meet with our friends the midwife and other pregnoid couples.   Its a bit strange but I’m going to miss it a bit when it finishes, six weeks of jokes and disbelief and panic with other couples really does bring you together slightly.   Its been really odd observing them too, and seeing how they interact as couples, what they are looking forward to, scared of, all those things.  There are a mix of people of different ages and backgrounds, but all are excited and keen and its lovely to see that too.

Last night was Caesarean Sections and Breastfeeding.  Relatively depressing really.  It was all very serious.   Your dad went green watching the Caesarean Section video, while I coped apart from the part when they showed the epidural going in.  The cutting through the stomach tissue & then the breaking of the uterine sack was actually pretty cool.   The uterine sack thing was really white and of course all the waters started just squirting out everywhere when they put the scalpel through it slightly.   Watching a white and purple head emerge from a big cut was a bit surreal.  That really freaked your dad out while I thought that bit was kinda cool.   The little baby they pulled out was very purple but quickly started to breathe and got some colour.   And cried.  It wasn’t very happy!

I don’t really want a caesarean, I guess no-one really does want any surgery if they don’t have to have it.  I think I’d find it really weird being awake through it – and it takes so long and there are so many people in the room.   I think to some extent I’d rather be able to see it than just see a big blue sheet with lots of doctors and nurses and midwives moving around behind it.  Another thing that you really don’t know how you’d cope with until it happens.

Breastfeeding is a bit the same.  Yep, they are pretty pro-breastfeeding at the hospital, which is good, but really, how much can you learn in an antenatal class???  I found it a bit ho-hum, as I’ve read a bit about it before and generally think its one of those things that is going to be hard to take in until you try it yourself.   Chatting with your dad on the way home though, he said he found it really informative and useful.  So we got something out of it.  Oh, I guess the bit I got was that if you do use bottles / express or whatever, there is no need for any sterilisation palava as long as you wash it.   Your milk, your baby, your bottles and knick-knacks, no sterilisation required.  Awesome.  That helps.

Today I took a lunch break and went down to West End and had a massage.  My back has been pretty sore and sitting at my desk all day tap-tap-tapping doesn’t help.   It was lovely.   I lay there for 15 minutes afterwards and relaxed, then gave you a massage of your own, as you’d woken up.   You seemed to enjoy your massage too and went back to sleep.   Its my way of getting you used to my touch before you come out.

Pramway - Our front yard before commencement of construction

Pramway – Our front yard before commencement of construction

Your dad is still out the front pramway-building.  I’m going to finish off in here and then head off to yoga.

Pramway is underway. Nearly ready for the decking!

Pramway is underway. Nearly ready for the decking!

love you.

mum

under construction - getting those joists in was a lot of work. Hopefully it will hold the weight of people walking up and down it for years.

under construction – getting those joists in was a lot of work. Hopefully it will hold the weight of people walking up and down it for years.

 

Gee, we've made it past half way. Its getting a little scarily close. February 13, 2009

Good morning Speckle!

Its Friday. And your dad, I and you are off to New Zealand tonight for a holiday. Brief sojourn before we head back to Brisvegas and our old house before you come along. I’m looking forward to it. I think you’ve got the excitement down there as you have been turning somersaults this morning. Or maybe you’d be doing that anyways? Who knows? you can’t talk yet. I guess it will be a while.

This week I’ve been a mixture of strangely calm inside and panicked in my mind about you coming VERY SOON, while at the same time being a bit, lah di dah, it will all work out. And feeling grumpy and generally very tired again. But still strangely calm. Hormones. They do strange things to you. Guess what? Its PAST HALF WAY. I was kinda ignoring it but coming down in the lift at work the other day I just had a bling, tah-dah moment, when I suddenly realised that it really was only just over 4 months and you’d be joining us. And we will be changing nappies, and trying to breastfeed you and cope with little sleep and you’d be cute and I guess I’d love you ’cause you were mine and “OH MY GOD”. Then I got distracted alternately by how famished I was and how much the person in front of me annoyed me and I promptly felt fine and forgot the panic.

I had to buy some maternity clothes last week, as the only clothes that were fitting were skirts which I just left undid and wore longer tops with. And new bras as each of my boobs are now as big as rockmelons and just as heavy and the bras I bought at 2 months pregnant just don’t fit anymore. Unfortunately that is not an exaggeration. Expensive but necessary. In the clothes department also I decided it was getting a little too much, and went and bought some new maternity pants and skirts. Coupled with the tent-like shirts that are in fashion at the moment I think I’ll be fine until you come now. You’re supposedly around 19 cm long this week and you’re just going to get bigger. As am I. By the way, the investment was worth it. I never thought I’d look forward to putting on ribbed material around my waist, but fashion statement or not, it is SOO much more comfortable than anything else and I never get out of it now. Good. So next week I’ll be alternately cycling round central Otago wearing slightly too small bike pants (didn’t upgrade those to maternity) and lounging in my oh-so-comfortable stretch-waist maternity jeans. Look out central Otago, you won’t know what has hit you!

Otherwise I’m starting to think we should be thinking about buying some stuff for you. We’ve got a cot, and we have a change table, but that’s about it. No, we have a bottle which someone left at our house once when their baby was little. So: one stolen bottle, one cot, one change table. What else do we need for you? We are going to get a pram this week in New Zealand, as the Mountain Buggy one we want is made there and is quite a bit cheaper. I guess we’ll need some clothes and nappies and the like too. I think it would be great to have a nappy service for a while – that might be kinda helpful. It would be good to have that taken care of for a while. My book suggested I could ask people just contribute to that rather than buying me flowers. I’ll get your dad to investigate.

How many clothes do you need? A friend from work sent me a link to a baby site that she recommended for basic jumpsuits and the like but I’m a bit confused as to what I should buy. Maybe I should buy a few so you have something to wear and then we can work it out after that? I don’t know. It will be winter, so you won’t be able to go nude. Actually, I forgot, your dad and I bought a baby change bag and a few blankets for babies in the January sales. So maybe we can just swaddle you in blankets and push you around for the winter. With some spare blankets and a camera in the baby change bag. Then you can go nude in summer. Really, it scares me how little idea either of us have. Consoling is the fact that everyone who has a baby seems to cope somehow. So I’m sure we’ll work it out and make some mistakes and whatnot but somehow muddle through. I am reminded of the time I was sent home from school in Grade one, six years of age, with a note for my father: “Please make sure <Mum> wears underpants under her school dress/skirt; cross-legged reading sessions require this”. Or words to that effect. Yep, I missed some undies some days. Nonetheless I think I worked out ok, I only occassionally forget them now.

Hope you’re well down there and enjoying the good food I’ve been eating. You must be growing as I am once again ridiculously hungry.
love and kisses
mum

p.s. your dad is now researching thingy bits that attach to the toilet so we can clean your nappies. Little Squirt. We thought they looked a bit expensive and then read the bit about them being toddler-tamper proof and decided that it might be worth it rather than a do-it-yourself option. He he.