i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

nervous December 10, 2008

Hi Speck,

its your 12 week scan today (11 w 6d is where you are – so pretty on the mark)- the NT-plus test where they work out some probabilities of you having downs sydrome etc.  Its all done by blood test and ultrasound, so I’m excited to see you again, but I think understandably, also a little nervous.  I have read the material about what will happen, and your dad and I have talked about what the outcomes might be and our possible choices based on those outcomes, but it is hard to conceptualise until its really happening – a little more room for emotion and other things to creep in.

I’m also slightly concerned about ultrasounds in general after having a chat to a friend earlier in the week who was worried about them.  I’ve done some reading and there are some studies that make some tentative links between ultrasounds and reduced foetal development (in summary there are some of the opinion that parts of your brain/nerves might not develop as well if you are ultrasounded a lot compared to not at all/just a little).  So I’m also a bit tentative about the whole ultrasounding thing – I might have a chat to the doctor today about this and ask that they just keep it to a minimum – ie what they need to do but minimum time ultrasounding if possible.  Then next time I go to the obs I can have a chat to him about it and get another opinion too.   Trying to keep open-minded about it but also a little cautious – overall I think I believe in minimum intervention where possible, so really, not ultrasounding you unless medically advisable for solid reasons does make good sense.   Hopefully we’ll see you soon enough anyway – and in the flesh!

Otherwise, my exams are weighing on my mind too – but I just want them over and done with.  Sick of trying to study.  Need to do a bunch more but time is running out.  And its really a secondary concern at this point – its just adding to my overall level of stress / nervousness.

So today your dad and I go into the clinic, I give some blood and then half an hour later they come and do the ultrasound and do some measurements, and then I think all of this data gets fed into a central Australian database of other ‘noids results (tests and baby health etc) and then they come up with some kind of probability that you do/don’t have the chromosomal abnormality that causes downs syndrome.  I’m going to Sydney Ultrasound for Women, who have some info on their website about it. I’ve been there before – thats where your first two scans were from. Then I guess we get options for more testing and a counsellor talks to us about the results. Its a pity you can’t talk too and let us know how you’re doing. I’d like to have your opinion.

Love you, will definitely see you later today. Be well!



One Response to “nervous”

  1. Miriam Says:

    “Its a pity you can’t talk too and let us know how you’re doing. I’d like to have your opinion.”

    I love this sentiment! I know the statistics, so I know that it is extremely unlikely that your baby will have DS. Regardless, there is a little person in there, and is sweet to read your growing relationship with him/(her?).

    If you find yourself worrying, poke around at my site, for a positive look at Down Syndrome. But really, I think Speck would tell you not to worry at all.

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