i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Oscar Joins Us – album June 29, 2009

Filed under: Parenting — rakster @ 1:13 pm

One week old and Oscar is your name-o. June 28, 2009

Hello Little Oscar! (you’re 8 days old today)

oscar snuggle time on day three. 23/06/2009

oscar snuggle time on day three. 23/06/2009

Welcome to the world again.  Well, the world outside my womb that is.   I’m suffering from sleep deprivation, sore boobs (cracked, grazed and mastitis-ised – erk) but otherwise great – I love you lots and have been spending hours staring at you each day.  I’m really glad that you came out through my VJJ without the need for any drugs, or other medical intervention (apart from a few stiches afterwards): I can’t imagine the last week and coping with all that your dad and I have had to learn on top of recovering from major surgery etc.   So!  All good.   I went for a walk today with your dad and you – a short one, but one nonetheless, and we’ve managed to get you in the car and out of the house every day to pop out and do something.  Tiring, but makes me feel like I’m not totally beholden to your needs 24/7 and makes it all just a bit more copable.

Anyway, life is rather hectic and so I’ve only just managed today to look at some of the photos we took of you in the first few days and pull a few out to share with some people….

I also need to sit down and find the time to finish writing your birth story while its still fresh in my mind. Might have to be in short-attention-span installments… Will try to get to that too…

So here they are: some shots of us getting ready for you to arrive and then a few from your first few days: Photos of Oscar

Summary of today is that you’re the best thing ever and you’re gorgeous and I am really glad that the lactation consultant showed me how to feed lying down yesterday. I can’t believe they didn’t show / talk about that at the hospital. Ahh. You like it to. You are currently milk-drunk and hanging out with your dad and aunt 3 & T on the verandah.

Love you



Welcome little nameless man June 22, 2009

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 9:23 am

We love you, you are beautiful.


you’re on the way June 20, 2009

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 12:00 pm

Good morning little speckle!

I’m very excited – you’re on your way. I woke up this morning at about 4:30 am with a very (in my mind) distinct “pop, , pop” feeling and sound. I was lying in the lower bunk of a bed at the place where P&J were getting married, with your Dad above me in a bunk and J (an obstetrician friend) sleeping in the same room. I remember thinking at the time, oh, that’s a bit strange. I think I recalled that you’d given me a few very strong kicks when I’d been trying to sleep a bit before. I was obviously half-asleep, because I just lay there for a minute (or what seemed like a minute), thinking ‘oh, well if that was my mucus plug then surely I should be able to feel something. Mm.. Maybe I’m just imagining it or dreaming’, when suddenly I felt a bit of a trickle in my pants and by the time I got up and made it the 1.5 m to the bathroom I had a rather large gush of water running down my legs and all over the bathroom floor. I think I just took my pjs off and stared at the water for a few minutes. I wasn’t sure what to do – part of me wanted to just go back to bed and not wake anyone up, cause I figured that it would be a while before you came. It felt pretty weird, cause I guess I just never thought of my waters breaking but not really being in labour. I was always expecting that would happen later – when I saw your aunt 2 be born my mum was in labour for a long time and then her waters were broken, and the video we watched at antenatal classes the woman’s waters broke right before the second stage.I shook myself out of that, and woke up your dad, telling him “I think my waters just broke”.

Anyway, of course J woke up too, checked with us that it was all the right colour and I felt fine etc. I had a quick shower and shoved some clothes on and pushed everything that was laying around into our bags, and we headed out to the car. We threw everything in the car, appropriated a few towels from the place we were staying so that I could sit on them (for some reason your dad thought I didn’t have any pads packed and I just didn’t even think of it) and then drove off into the darkness, just around 5am. Your dad looked a bit shakey as we negotiated the roads around the back of Uki in a very hard rain. It was a bit foggy too. But we made it to Murwillumbah, where we stopped so your dad could phone the hospital (we were out of range until then) and grab something to eat.

While your dad was in the store and on the phone, I walked up and down the street, thinking, “this is weird”. I’d started to have contractions in the car. Well, what I guessed were contractions. I had been trying to describe them to your dad – I managed to tell him they were just little bands of tension that started down low and worked their way up to just over my pubic bone, with occasssional jabs up further around my belly-button height. They started and stopped in the car journey. What was consistent was the leaking, which felt good each time it happened, like the pressure that had built up was being released. I could tell I was having mild contractions as this is what generally made more leaking happen.

We continued up the road as the sky lightened and we ran into more cars along the way. I put the radio on and we bopped along to some music and chatted. I was having weird thoughts about all sorts of things. We stopped at a service station and I enjoyed peeing immensely.

… this is getting hard to type (its 11:04 am…)… I seem to be having contractions every 5 minutes and they are a bit engaging.

…later at 12:15…

yes, the contractions are getting a bit stronger. And your dad has been timing them. Hopefully they won’t stop and start. They are pretty engaging when they occur now, and they hurt a little bit. You are wriggling down there a little bit. I was lying down on my side when a big one came before and it was horrible. I panicked a little bit, cause I knew I couldn’t get up. But after it finished I reminded myself that it just lasts for 30 seconds or so, and really isn’t that bad. just need to change positions. Lying on my side wasn’t great. Standing up is ok, but when the contractions come now I’m asking your dad to help me, and I am putting my hands around his neck while he rubs my sacrum. That is more tolerable, and is more comfortable as I have somewhere to rest my head. I’ve just tried one on the fitball, where I’m sitting at my desk typing to you. This feels good moving around between contractions, but as soon as it started I really didn’t want any movement at all. I just wanted to be still. So you dad sat behind me and tried to get me to relax my mouth.

….. End of ability to write…


You're engaged June 19, 2009

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 3:47 pm

Hello speckle!

Well, we are finally in the car and on our way to p & j’s wedding in northern nsw…. It’s been a bit of a manic day, on which I ( to your dad’s dismay) have been fuelled almost entirely by an array of amazing sugary treats that your aunt 2 brought over for my birthday this morning.

So, we headed in to see the doctor this morning for a quick check on you. And you’re all good: your head is down further, in fact you’re engaged! Locked on in… And walking around today I can tell, it feels like you’re wriggling around so you can come out soon. You’ve officially got 6 days to go, but as the dr pointed out today, that could still mean you want to hang out in there for a few more weeks.. He asked if we wanted to get you to come out – as he said it can take a week to 10 days to organize an induction with the hospital. We said we were happy to let you try to work yourself out in your own time. Which he is all fine with too, I think until you’re around two weeks after expected. In which case he might encourage us to get you to come out with some artificial hormones… But I’m hoping the raspberry leaf tea and some acupuncture will give you the right cues..

Anyway, perhaps now cause we’re going three hours from the hospital you can hang upside down in there for a few more days??

Love you

Ps. My blood pressure still is totally good.


bathing on the deck! yay for your dad :) June 16, 2009

Hello Little Speck!

Well, you know what happened last night, ’cause you got right in on the action too.  Yes, that’s right.  We got to have a bath at home!  YAAAAAYYYYY!!!

As you know, our bathroom at home, while lovely, doesn’t have a bathtub, just a shower.  And I really LOVE my baths.   So anyway, yesterday your dad got it in his head that I needed a bath (I have been moaning every day about how much I feel like just lying in the bath after having one each day when we went away the weekend before last).   And he has been thinking about it – we’ve had fantasies about building a bath house in the garden.  And we’ve been thinking about how to cheaply renovate our bathroom and put one in…  But all take time and money and are relatively complicated.

But yesterday, your Dad got inspired and all I heard him say as he ran out the door in the morning while I was on the phone for work was something about building me a bath.   He returned a number of hours later with some stuff on the roof of the car, and continued to make sawing, hammering and drilling noises into the night.  And then, at about 8:30 pm, it was done!  My own little bath filled with hot steaming water on our back deck.   The steam rising off it into the night, the possoms in the tree beside it looking on in interest.   ….

So..  I got in!   Check it out:

in the bath

you and I in the bath – its small but we just fit!

Looking out to the left of the deck you can see the tops of the city buildings, and the way I’m facing in the photo above across the back yard and through to the trees in the neighbourhood…

bathing with a view out across the trees

bathing with a view out across the trees

See!  Pretty cool I think…

my bath

my bath

full recline – see its a little small, but perfect for the back corner of the deck….

So we will be soaking every day from now on.

Thanks G for the old bathtub.  Yay for your dad.   He is amazing.

love mum



The view from where I’m lying June 14, 2009

Hello Speck!

I thought as I lay in bed this morning that I’d share with you what it feels like to be carrying you around at this stage.  Its not something I can readily describe, so a photo is going to have to suffice.

So:  This is what you look like to me when I’m lying in bed…

the view of your home from my perspective – i can still see my toes, just!

Somewhat like a beached whale, you have to agree…


love you



eating and waiting… June 12, 2009

Hello Little Baby Speck!

Well, its freezing this morning. I have my computer in bed with me and am working from there. We went out yesterday and bought two new oil heaters after plugging in our old one to absolutely zero effect the day before (I think the move back from Sydney finally killed it). And so I have the heater we bought for your room in our room this morning and I’m under the covers too. Brrrr. Apparently its five degress. Very cold for a draughty queenslander.   Your dad and I are both a little worried at how cold our house is going to be when you arrive home …  (BTW Week 38 today!  Week 38… I never thought it would come around).

Slept badly again last night. Woke at 3 am and didn’t get back to sleep until around 5:30… Then got woken this morning at 6:30 by the gas workmen right outside our bedroom window digging a big hole in our yard and discussing how cold it was last night / this morning and how many Bundy and Cokes they managed to consume in the car trip home last night because the traffic was bad. Aaagh.. You weren’t impressed either – there was some kicking down there and I interpreted it as “pissed off”. Much more violent and quick than your normal movement.

Yesterday had a spurt of energy and decided to get some things done. Hence the heater-buying. Also managed to inspire myself to cook biscuits. See – still having total cravings for sweet food. Weird. Anyway, I was inspired to biscuits after looking through the Australian Women’s Weekly biscuit cookbook. Its a book that my Grandmother gave me when I was 12 years old. I only just got it back from your Aunt R the other day – I must have loaned it to her a few years ago… I’m really glad I got it back – I thought it was just packed away in one of the multitude of boxes we have yet to look in – stored under the house from before we moved to Sydney. Its sentimental. Anyway, I’ve got it and I have good memories of cooking the biscuits. Hopefully something we can do together when you get bigger – I’ve had some practice with F as she and I used to cook them all the time when we lived next door to each other…

monte carlos – yum!

Yep, so yesterday I did the monte carlos. And damn, do they taste good if I do say so myself. I say so myself. They taste good. Full of sugar. Yum.

Today is a work day. Looking forward to the weekend 🙂

love you


the car is now baby-ready. come on down anytime. June 10, 2009

Hello Speck,

Quick note to let you know that your dad went out to the QLD Ambulance today and got the carseat that we’ve hired installed. So the car is now A-OK and ready for you to come on down and join us anytime.

your car seat

your car seat

I got detailed instructions from your dad on how to put the seat in and out with you in it. There are lots of steps. But I’m sure we’ll get there. Another step closer to being ready for your arrival.

What else? Well, you definitely liked yogababy yoga last night. It was a class focussing on trying to give your baby the chance to move around and get in the optimal position for birth if it wasn’t quite there when you went into labour, and a few things about relaxation etc. You were active all through the class, after we got home, and all night. You’ve been moving around down in there and trying to get yourself into a slighly new position I’d say. Your kicking has moved slightly from being on my left side at the top, to now in the centre, or even a bit to the right. I’ve switched totally to using the fitball when working at the desk and watching TV – normal seats just make me really creaky and stiff when I try to get out of them now.

baby capsule installation

baby capsule installation

And your dad and I both dreamed about me going into labour the night before last. Your dad is getting more and more excited as the time comes closer.

love you


bye bye beach, hello winter… You must enjoy being home – a kicking squirming you has kept me awake again! June 9, 2009

Hello Speck,

We saw whales frollicking in the ocean yesterday, and had a great big lie on the beach, I think my stomach got a bit of sun so the outside of your home has a pinker tinge than before. But, we unfortunately had to end our holiday and come home 🙁 …. I miss the view already…

view from our room - whales and surf

So, we trekked on back from the coast yesterday and I’m back at my computer, tap, tap, tapping this morning. You are also awake and active. In fact, you’ve been awake and active for hours. Since about 3:30 am. I think you got annoyed with me lying on you so woke up and prodded me about until I moved, and you haven’t let up since.

Your Grandad is pretty sick, so we’ve been over to see him this morning and he says hello. You obligingly kicked away while we saw him to let us know you’re excited to meet him too. Otherwise its all a bit uneventful. Despite having written a list of things to pack in the hospital bag, I haven’t done that yet. So I have to get to that today or tomorrow. And then we’ll be ready to head off whenever. I’m starting to feel a bit nervous about you arriving again. I wasn’t nervous for the past few weeks, I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. But now that its imminent, I’m starting to worry a little. Come on pregnancy hormones, where are you? Don’t desert me now!

I can see why people get sick of waiting and just want their babies OUT towards the end…

love you
keep on growing a bit more (but not too much – you have to fit through my pelvis).