i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Mummies Groups and Walking September 29, 2009

Hello Little Poogie Woogie,

Well. Last week was quiet but this week is busy. I got inspired at the end of last week and am madly trying to get things in order before I get operated on next week. So you and I are doing some mad organising. Still haven’t managed to move the stuff around the house into the new wardrobes, so the goal this week is to get that done so when your Aunt R arrives back in Australia next week (hooray – you’ll like her I’m sure), she has somewhere to sleep at our house so she can stay and help. At the moment there is nowhere for her as your Dad’s office is taking up one room and you take up another. You’re moving into your Dad’s home office for a bit so that she has somewhere to sleep!

What have you and I been up to apart from madly organising things? Well, we’re still doing our mummies and babies get togethers. Monday is coffee shop day with the women and babes that we were in the local health area classes with. Then Tuesdays we go to the hospital for post-natal exercise with C & baby Hamish. And the other mums. And then Wednesday this week we are catching up with the mums from antenatal classes. That’s a new thing. And then Thursday this week is our fortnightly catch-up with the local yoga-baby mums and babes. Which we’ve been doing for a couple of months now. Very enjoyable. So. Apologies for not having taken you to the State Library for the Rhymes and Reading session on a Thursday yet, but now its going to have to wait until I’m able to walk again. Let’s say January!

Righto. So. The weekend was quiet. It was still very dusty. We had a massive dust-storm come through last week. Wednesday. It was absolutely amazing. Like nothing I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. Apparently it was a one in 70-year event. Lets hope so. Red dust filled the sky and the fine silky red dirt permeated every crack and crevice of the house, the furniture, everything. We stayed indoors and closed all the doors and windows. You couldn’t see 100m – the houses on the next ridge were only just visible as an outline. Apparently lots of people got sick from inhaling it – joggers particularly (though I have to say – STUPID. Who runs when the dust is so thick in the air you can’t see 100m???). A smaller dust storm came through again on Saturday night. Apparently the dust blew all the way from the western desert area of NSW, right over to Sydney, then up the coast to Brisbane. A day later there was dust falling in New Zealand – it blew right across the Tasman. Climate change.

Duststorm over Sydney from Space

Duststorm over Sydney from Space

After being cooped up on Saturday night we took you for a big walk on Sunday. From our house, down to Southbank to the kid’s water park. Its fun just to sit there and watch all the kids run around with glee. Hundreds of kids, lots of water. Lots of fun. I think when you get older you’ll like that we live close to it. Lots of kids have to travel from a long way around to get to it. Anyway, we sat with you and you watched the other kids cavorting around, screaming and laughing as they ran in and out of the water jets. You got as far as dipping your feet in. Well, I dipped your feet in. You thought it was a bit cold, from the look on your face. But didn’t scream or cry. It was more of an, “mmm. that’s cold. I wonder why my mum is doing this to me? Maybe there is something in this that I’m not getting” kinda look.

You at the waterpark. 14 weeks old?

You at the waterpark. 14 weeks old?

so. Life is busy busy busy. And you are growing like nothing I’ve ever seen before. At last check you were 6.3kg. I think. Next check today. I’m thinking you might have nearly doubled in size since you were born.

Love you.


Stinky Baby. Poogie Woogie. Little Numpty. Apu. September 20, 2009

Filed under: Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 9:00 pm

Hello Poogie Woogie,

give a boogie.

I just thought I’d let you know that the time is still flying by. Another week has passed. You’ve grown immensely again.   This week you rolled over for the first time – from your front to your back (Thursday).  Much to the delight of myself, J & J, who were visiting and cheering you on.  I suspect you rolled just to be able to better see the cheerers – you haven’t managed to do it again.   Though your dad and I have observed that you somehow seem to be able to inch your way across our bed until you are right in the middle when you’re put on the edge with us.   We end up all squished to one side.  And you can definitely turn from your back to your side, that has been happening for a while.  Just not yet from back to stomach.  But HOLD OFF.  We’re happy that you’re immobile for the moment.

feeding the baby – week 12

This week we ventured out to the park a lot for a few mums’ group meetings.  It is nice down in Orleigh Park at the moment – spring has sprung and there are some big trees in full bloom, the weather isn’t too hot yet, and its nice to watch the boats go by on the river.  You seem to like staring up from the blanket into the leaves of a ginormous fig tree we sit under.  And I enjoy being outside to.   I’m not looking forward to the next few months of hot hot weather when it gets uncomfortable to do that.

On the news front – big change for you and me coming up.  You know how I hurt my ankle when you were in my belly and need surgery? Well, the lack of ability to use the ankle really is an issue, I’m finding it hard to go up and down the back stairs, or any stairs really, when I’m carrying you.  Its almost impossible now that you’re 6.5 kg (wow – so big already!) to grab you with one hand and use the other to support myself on the rail, taking one step at a time when going down. The deciding factor for me was last weekend when I went swimming in the sea and realised that I still can’t push off the sand when in water to support myself against a strong current.  I need to be able to do that when we take you swimming in the sea when you’re a bit bigger.

So.  Your Aunt R is coming back from Japan/Brazil, and she’s kindly agreed to help A LOT, and your dad’s business is just starting so he isn’t committed 100% 0f the time yet, so in three weeks time I’m going to bite the bullet, and get the chop, so to speak.   I’m scared, and worried and scared and worried.  I worry about the surgery, but mostly I worry about afterwards and not being able to care for you.  I’ll be bed-bound for a week, then after that the next 3-4 weeks immobile in the house, then slowly starting to move with crutches after that but no weight bearing.  After 10-12 weeks I’ll be able to start weight-bearing practice and getting physio to rehabilitate myself.  Which all means that I’m not going to be able to care for you by myself.  I won’t be able to walk, let alone pick you up.

The decision to do it now is based also on the fact that it will be nigh impossible to get this done once you are mobile.  And I can’t put it off forever.  I want to be able to take you on bushwalks, and jump from stone to stone in streams, and swim in the ocean.   And run after you in games of chasey.    Currently limited and unsafe on my instable ankle.

I’ve run out of time! youre shouting at me .  can only type    with one hand

love mum

ps.  some photos from the last week

poogie in the red chair - week 13

poogie in the red chair – week 13

poogie in new hat

poogie in new hat

poogie reading

poogie reading

mum, dad and poogie

mum, dad and poogie

fatso cow baby

fatso cow baby

boobie baby

boobie baby

P.P.S. Oh yeah, and your current nicknames are Stinky Baby, Poogie Woogie, Little Numpty and Apu.


You're twelve weeks old September 11, 2009

Hello Poogie Woogie,

Well. Days are flying by and all I seem to do still is feed you, change you, get you to sleep (though you’re pretty good at that yourself, I must say – compliments). Repeat. Oh. That’s not true. We do lots of talking practice and read books and practice mouth movements in between too. But basically my whole day gets sucked up playing with you and looking after you. Its crazy. I knew it would be like this but at the same time its still very different from what I expected. The time is flying by but it isn’t at the same time. You’re 12 weeks old tomorrow.

So, what have you done in the first twelve weeks? So many things:

  • learned to look at us and interact with your eyes (you can now beat me in a staring competition and you sure are expressive with your eyes)
  • learned to smile and giggle and laugh with people who are talking to you
  • learned to use your hands – putting them in your mouth and staring at them close-up to your face, starting to grab things and hold on (only just)
  • learned to hold your head up when you’re in tummy time and look around – you’ve got much stronger than when you first came home from hospital
  • learned to practice talking. You’re not quite babbling yet, but you’re almost there – lots of ohhh, ahh noices. Your current nickname (from your dad and I) is “Apu”. We’re thinking of it being your second name.
  • learned to put yourself to sleep. Now this one is pretty good. I’m proud of you for this. When you”re tired, as long as you’re not overtired, we can pop you down in your cot, maybe slightly swaddled, and you’ll go to sleep by yourself, quite happily. WHen you’re overtired, nothing works but putting you in the sling and bouncing you around for 5 minutes. And listening to a bit of screaming in the meantime.
  • learned how to breastfeed MUCH better than when you started. Ahh.. And the best – you’re good at it lying down too.
  • learned what being scared is like (at the football)
  • learned how to listen to stories being read to you
  • learned how to poke your tongue out at me (imitating me poking mine at you)
  • and grown out of three sizes of clothing (you’re now a size 00 – been through 00000, 0000 and 000).
  • … the list goes on …
  • and finally this week you’ve learned what it is like to get diarrohea (and mum has learned how many nappies it is possible to go through in one day. Hundreds. By the way the doctor thinks maybe the diarrohea is from your Rota virus vaccination, but you’re otherwise ok in that you’re not dehydrated, your temperature is normal so its all good).

you sleeping this morning - 12 weeks old. In your normal 'arms-out' position

I had to count through the calender today to work out how many weeks old you were – for some reason I thought it was more like 14-15, but then I figured you weren’t quite 3 months yet, so I had to be wrong…

So. We’re down to Lismore with you for the night tonight, and then hopefully the beach with you tomorrow. I am going to have to find you a sun-safe suit to wear. Your Aunt R kindly gave you some excellent new swimmers that will hold everything in (like a tight wet-suit) and you have the gorgeous board shorts from A-M, so you’re good for swimming, but might need more for extra coverage during the day… And a new hat.


love you


Me and You Today - 11 weeks 6 days.  Gee you're big!

Me and You Today - 11 weeks 6 days. Gee you're big!


44000 people all yelling at once is just a bit too loud and scary for a little baby (and you are still a little baby, I just forget that) September 6, 2009

Hi Poogie,

Well.  I’m writing to you this morning to let you know that I’m sorry.  I feel terrible.  In fact,  last night I felt plagued with unassuageable guilt.   Wracked with it.   I’ve decided I don’t know if I want to be a mum anymore.  Its too scary for me too – too much responsibility (and to this your dad says, “Too late”).   And all because of the sight of your tiny little scared face.  Petrified in fact.

To balance these strong and undeniably primal feelings I’m having – I look at your face this morning – and you are most definitely your smiling, happy, joyous little self.   So no lasting damage to see.

So.  What did I (and your Dad) do?  Well, we attempted to take you to the football (AFL for those who know the Australian codes and are interested).  Mmm…  And we thought you’d be ok – nicely rugged up in a big sling on my or your dad’s chest, a short 20 minute walk to the grounds from our house with another friend.  I was a bit worried about the length of time we’d be out at night, but figured you liked to sleep in the sling.


Not some of the obvious things (well, very obvious in retrospect):

  • its the first home final for our local team in a number of years (finals season games have that little bit more fervour, don’t they – i.e. the crowd is going to be BIG BIG BIG and ROWDY ROWDY ROWDY); and
  • we were sitting in the open section (not in the alcohol-free members area we’ve been in the last games we went to); and
  • you’re only twelve weeks old!; and
  • I just plain forgot that the noise at a football game really goes from nothing to a huge roar in just seconds.

And that was what scared you.   It wasn’t the noise itself (you adjusted to that each time the roar lasted for a long time).  It was the abruptness of the noise.  And your dad thinks the primal or base nature of the noise.  Suddenly.

In my life so far – one of the worst things I’ve ever seen was your little face last night.   Just the look of absolute terror in your eyes as you pushed your head sideways into your dad’s chest in the sling, and gripped him around his chest monkey-style like you weren’t going to let go if it was the last thing you did.  And your eyes looked like you thought it might be the last thing you did.   And I couldn’t do anything about it.  You gave a few yelp-like cries on some of the big roars and let it out verbally.   The rest of the time however, you just looked dazed and amazed.  So much bright light, so many faces and noises around you.

So,  the quarters are long in AFL.   I needed to use the bathroom desperately about 15 minutes into the first quarter, so I managed to squeeze out of our seats (the other issue being that we were pinned right in the middle of a stand with no close stairs and had to squeeze along a narrow row of 15 people to get out) and get to the bathroom.  I was shaking.  I was so upset with myself and not sure what to do with you.   You stayed with your dad.  That was a good move, as I managed to then have the next 15 minutes to watch the game from the stairwell, and because I couldn’t see your face I wasn’t so upset and managed to think.  And decided that the option was easy and not a big deal – I’d just walk home with you and leave your dad & P at the game, and that you’d be fine.  You weren’t howling, you weren’t hurt, you weren’t damaged.  You just got a big shock.  And you enjoyed some of it.

Quarter over, you dad brought you out of the stands to me, I strapped you on, and we went home.  You were wired.  So alert and awake and watchful.   And happy.   You wanted to talk and laugh and look and participate in everything on the way home, and wanted my attention and face-time when we got home.   We got home in time for me to put you on my lap and have some great play time and talking time as I watched the delayed football on TV.   And it was an amazing game, where our team (the Lions) made a final quarter comeback from 5 goals down to win.

You had a huge feed, seemed very content, and went down to sleep for the night after almost falling asleep on the boob.  And you woke this morning and are still fine.

I’m sorry poogie.

Love you

P.S. I wasn’t the only mum at the football with a baby. As I was walking towards the stairs to leave, another woman with a sling on came out of the back of one of the stands. We locked eyes, and I had to go and see how she was going. So I walked over and she walked to me. We said hi, and asked how old and looked at each-other’s babes. Me: “How old is your baby” (before I can see the face). Her: “One week”. SOOO TINY I realised as I saw her little baby’s screwed up face – womb-fresh and puckered but totally fully asleep at her chest in the sling. Then she said, “I’m just looking for somewhere to feed her, I’m hoping the ushers will let me have a seat back here somewhere”… Mm.. Me: “Good luck”… For some strange reason it reassured me that I wasn’t the worst and dumbest mum on the planet – which was where my self-esteem was at the time. It wasn’t just us that decided that the football was ok for a relatively small babe. But rest assured Poogie, I think it will be some years before we try to take you again 🙂 TV will do for now.


Playing with Mr Finklebottom September 2, 2009

Hello Poogie,

Today was very busy. So now we’re having some play time with Mr Finklebottom (L named him a few weeks ago for you).

poogie and finkelbottom

you and mr finklebottom

We’re singing a modified version of Mr Peter Rabbit (after your Aunt R sang it to you on the weekend and I remembered I know it too: another nursery rhyme)!

Love you