i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Yoga mark two January 29, 2009

Good Morning Speck,

How are you? Very quiet down there again, perhaps you’re busy digesting the large amount of food I have consumed in the past 24 hours. Some days I seem to just need to eat a regular amount yet other days I just feel like I’m starving and need to eat everything in sight. Yesterday was one of those days.

Your dad and you will be pleased to know that despite my tendency to eat relatively crap food and make little effort when it’s just me, I went and did a big healthy shop when I got home from work on Monday night, so we’ve been snacking on guacamole, peaches, nectarines and almonds mostly. One of my friends from work made me a huge batch of Indian rice custard after hearing about my recent addiction, so as that has no sugar but just reduced milk that is pretty good too. And I made palak paneer last night so we both got our spinach quota for the week.

What else? Well, I seem to be moody again. I helpfully told someone at work today who pissed me off only ever so slightly that ‘I don’t give a s* anyway, I’m having a baby and will be leaving and won’t be here when it happens anyway’.. Mmm, not really what I was thinking, just an over zealous outburst.   Your fault again.

Also went along to yoga last night.  Coke-meister bailed on me but I went anyway.  It was a normal level 1-2 yoga class at the great studio I went to with you dad for a while over a year ago.  We both enjoyed our courses there a lot, and the teachers are really good.   It was interesting – I got to do a few different exercises while everyone else did headstand and shoulderstand and a few other abdominally-taxing exercises, and I have to step in rather than jump, but it was good.  I think I’ll keep going to pregnant yoga when I can also, but this is a good option for me for the next period as we move back and forth between Sydney and Brisbane.  My ankle is much better and I have got a brace for it which helps with remembering to keep it in mind.

I didn’t feel you kicking around much last night but I think you were definitely on the left side still – you put me off-balance slightly.

Hope you’re well.

love you



ballooning belly January 28, 2009

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 4:24 pm
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Howdy Speck!

At risk of seeming to go on endlessly about it, I am expanding at a rapid rate again.  Something definitely popped over the last week and my belly is getting bigger and bigger.  Even loose clothes are barely fitting now.

I hope you are enjoying the space.  I am going to look like a balloon.  Any day now I just might float away (except for the whole weight thing).

love you.



Hello little kicker! January 26, 2009

Good morning Speck!

I am sitting on the back deck in Brisbane and there are no human sounds around. Just the stripey marsh frogs going crazy in the pond/bathtub trying to get laid! It rained last night so they are pretty happy.

Happy Australia day! What that means to you is that its exactly 5 months ’till you’re due! Time flies when you’re getting big and pregnant, and having fun. Went out with some friends for dinner last night and I was asked if I’m excited about being a mum, which I’ve been asked lots before, but it just felt different for some reason (maybe hormones?). Anyway, the answer us most definitely ‘yes’, but also mostly that what I’m excited about is being a mum while your dad is being a dad, so just both having that experience and having a child together. Cause while your dad is often a numpty and grumpy and a total pain in the ass (more so the last two when he has been gap-filling walls in the heat and painting), he is also fun and I think he’ll be a great dad… (yep, the hormones must definitely be kicking in).

Other good news is that I most definitely felt you moving around down there last night in bed, you were squiming and had moved around to the left side when normally you feel like you’re on the right.

Let’s see if I can find a frog to take a photo of…. It’s wet down in the garden..
… No frogs, whilst they are loud they are still hiding.. But lots of eggs – which I got a photo of!

Love you


Painting your room (among others) January 25, 2009

Good morning speck!

I’m lying in bed, strange as it feels to me, in our kitchen in Brisbane. The other rooms all have painting stuff all through them, so we slept in the kitchen last night. I don’t know why, but it felt very strange. And I’m awake early – it’s very light in here as the sun comes right in the window and doors to the back deck in the morning.

Exciting (or maybe not) news for you is that your room is nearly all painted! A few touch-ups and floor cleaning today but then it’s all done!

I’ve taken a few photos. Your dad picked out the colours – he’s surprisingly good at colours, so he’s in charge of the whole house. Your room is just like ours – a slight green cream with a green trim, but ours has an olive feature wall, wheras yours doesn’t. I think it looks good. And all good for you to draw all over when you get bigger – all kids do that at some stage don’t they??

Hope you like it, tough if you don’t! By the way this painting thing has been a family affair – your dad, both your grandads, Ros, your big weiner uncle, me (yes, and despite your maternal grandmother’s worrying the fumes aren’t that bad), and maybe a few more friends during the week. Which is good ’cause it’s hard work painting VJ walls -your dad has to fill all the cracks, wash and lightly sand before painting…

Anyway, I’m off to paint.

Love you!

Ps did you see your great- aunt has apparently sent you your first shipment of specially-made-for-you baby stuff??? Cool, lucky for you!


hot hot hot… working at home in knickers isn’t generally the kinda thing you want to let slip on a conference call. oh well, blame it on baby brain and the heat. January 23, 2009

Hiya Speck!

Hope you’re ok down there.  Pretty sure you had a bit of a wriggle around last night.  But the layer of fat between my hands and you makes it hard to tell exactly (its getting bigger with the lack of exercise due to ankle)… Ah well.

Its very hot today.  I trust you’re laying low and keeping cool.  I am drinking as much water as I can but the consequence is even more frequent peeing.  Think yo-yo between the computer (work) and the bathroom (loo).  I usually try to cut out water a bit before bed time but its just too hot for that too.    I have thus been up and down all night too, which makes me a bit more grumpy during the day than normal, and quite a bit more tired.  I had plans for dinner and a movie last night but just had to lie down after another VERY busy day at the office.   So I cancelled and lay down.  I think you appreciated it, as that is when I think you were having a wiggle.

Mm… It says its 31 degrees on my weather checker, but I suspect if I had a thermometer in the house here it would be more like 36.  And for once, in Sydney, its pretty damn humid.  I am off to Brisbane tonight to help your dad paint (I’m sure I can get some painting done, but really looking forward to a weekend), and I expect its only going to get worse up there.   Rain is predicted for all three days but still around 30 degrees, so stinking hot and humid.  Lovely.  I guess I need to get accustomed to it again, so jumping into the fire is one way to do it.   I have read that apparently its normal for me to feel hotter than normal because of you.  I may have increased blood flow to my skin, but I think mainly my metabolic rate is higher so I get hotter.  And of course I’m bigger.   So it feels a lot hotter to me than everyone else.

Have thus been working from home today wearing a pair of knickers and a bra-top.  Which was fine until I was on a conference call and a delivery person came to the door.  Was too hot and bothered to think of anything better to say, so I just told the whole call (thankfully only two other people whom I’ve worked with at another company for quite a while now) that I just needed to be excused as I was in my knickers and there was someone at the door, and I needed to put the phone down to put on a gown.  Mmmn….  I got told, rightly so, that I had given too much information.    Oh well, these things happen.  Blame: squarely on you for two reasons.  Firstly ’cause I’m flustered and hot because of you; and secondly just general baby brain.

Love you.  Drink lots of amniotic fluid and avoid your own wee where possible.  Your lanugo might help to keep you cool?? (its week 18 and apparently you’re covered in it now)…

love mum

love mum


Talk about growing fingernails January 21, 2009

Good morning Speck!

Hope you’re ok, still no kidney kicking??

Quick one to let you know I’m still thinking of you. I’ve had a very quiet few days, what with not really being able to move freely around on my ankle . Your dad has gone up to Brisbane to do some painting on our house, so being by myself it’s kinda quiet. Funny, I used to travel a lot for work and we’d be apart all the time, which while you don’t necessarily ‘like’, you definitely get used to. Well, I’m unused to it now!

Aside from that, I thought I’d let you know that it’s not just you that is growing.  My hair doesn’t come out in big clumps anymore in the shower.  Apparently that is common for pregnant people.  And my fingernails.  I know you are growing some, but I surely must be winning if it were a race.  My fingernails seem to grow about a centimetre a week.  I filed them down last night.  Photo above.  I’m going to take a photo in a few days to show you.  Bit weird.

Hope you’re well.  I miss your dad and I wish you could talk to me!

love mum



… and I continue to eat. This time to console myself. And you. January 18, 2009

Heya Speck,

Feeling a bit shit today.  Ooops, bad mum.  Your dad keeps harping on at me about how I’m not going to be able to swear with a baby / child.  I guess I should make an effort.  Anyway.  I feel a bit crappy today.  The whole, “I sprained my ankle” thing has turned into “I may need surgery on my ankle to be able to use it properly again” after a visit to the physio.  Damn damn damn. And I am annoyed that the first physio I went to the other day immediately after straining the ankle was so crap.   She had no idea, and just taped it up.   I knew she was crap, that’s why I booked back in for my normal physio on Saturday.  I figured at the time that really too much treatment close to a sprain is not really helpful anyway, so I’d just rest and then get better treatment on Saturday.  But unfortunately yesterday he basically said there wasn’t much he could do and I need to go and see an orthopaedic surgeon for an opinion.  And no walking, cycling, yoga, swimming blah blah blah in the meantime.  Yeah, I know I should keep positive until I get that opinion.  Which is what I did yesterday.  I just can’t do it today.

Coupled with the fact that all the pairs of shorts I tried on this morning didn’t fit, and it wasn’t so much the belly only being the problem as the ass and legs as well, I got a bit, “I’m going to turn into a big fat pregnant blimp and I can’t even go for a walk!  I feel horrible!”.  Kinda whiney.  It didn’t help that I spent the whole morning lying down re-reading a book (a good one – The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri): reading for too long puts me in a bit of a funk too.  And then when I’m done reading not being able to really walk around all that much to enjoy the gorgeous day just pees me off even more.  I’m putting it down to you as well.  Have been feeling really good but I guess with exaggerated highs come exaggerated lows.  And for the first time I’ve let worry really panic me a bit.  I haven’t felt you moving for a day or two and I’m worried about you.  Its silly, because no matter what there is nothing that can be done, but it would be nice if you could just give me a few good strong kicks.  Try the kidneys.  Yes, slightly masochistic too.   Today is a bit low.

So again, it is with food that I console myself or attempt to focus on positives and fun things.  A friend was asking me the other day if I have been craving anything, or if I have really noticed wanting milk ’cause apparently babies growing in bellies need a lot of calcium.  Apparently, you will suck it out of my bones if you don’t get enough in my diet (You really are a fully-blown parasite, huh?   Trying to kill me with osteoporosis before you’re even born).   Funnily, I didn’t think I had been craving dairy – I do eat yoghurt for breakfast with fruit most days, and lotsa cheese.  But then when talking to her I realised that I have been having a few hot chocolates at work throughout the week, and have even had a few milkshakes too, just ’cause I felt like it.  I usually really don’t like milk.   Once a year I might get a craving for a milkshake.  Usually strawberry.  Your dad groans and tells me that I don’t need one.  I insist for the next hour.  He gives in.   We sit down and I get through about half.   Then I give it to your dad to finish as I feel so full I couldn’t possibly drink another sip, even though it tastes good and refreshing.   Then I start to feel ill.   I keep the ill feeling to myself for about half-an-hour until it gets kinda bad, then I usually let out a big, “I feel sick, I need to lie down” groan.  Your dad says, “I told you so, you shouldn’t have had that milkshake”.  I think, “But I enjoyed drinking it”, but keep that to myself to elicit maximum sympathy.  There is none forthcoming from your dad.  He’s not good on sympathy when you’ve ignored his advice (heed the warning).

Anyway, I have noticed dairy related desires.  I won’t put them down as cravings, more as desires.  So yesterday for some reason I really felt like eating that greek-style rice custard that you can buy at the markets in West End and a few other random places.   So after dragging myself around the house feeling sorry for myself, I’ve managed to cheer myself a little but cooking it.  Pretty good first effort too (if I do say so myself).  I’d tweak it next time to make it milkier and less rich, but it tastes good.  Ryzogalo is apparently the name.  Have eaten a large bowlful and now feeling slightly less morose.

ryzogalo - yum.

your dad eating ryzogalo

your dad eating ryzogalo

Hope you’re well.  Kick me would you. please.



Week 17: 13cm and you wee a lot! January 16, 2009

Hi Speck,

So, Happy Week 17! You are apparently 13 cm long this week, 150 grams and you wee every 45 minutes. And then you drink it when you take big gulps of amniotic fluid. Gross. No wonder kids (and I guess adults alike) love peeing in the bath. It must remind them somehow of the months they spent doing the same in their own little growth-in-utero phase.

I haven’t felt you moving around too much over the past few days, but that could be because I have had to keep my feet up and not do too much – sprained an ankle at frisbee on Tuesday night. I’m blaming it on you – well, on the extra weight I’m carrying around that just put a bit too much strain on an ankle trying to turn quickly and stepping in a hole at the same time. I think, unfortunately, that as there are only a few weeks left in the season, that will be it for me. I might head along for the finals to eat pizza and chat with people but otherwise not much chance of more playing until after you’re born. I think my team were a bit worried that I was overdoing it anyway, so are kinda happy that I wrote myself out.

its worse than it looks. I'm a limping wounded person.

its worse than it looks. I’m a limping wounded person.

my strapped ankle

my strapped ankle

Its also been boiling hot – almost 40 degrees for the past few days.  So moving greatly even without an injured ankle is a large effort.  I’m looking forward to a beach trip tomorrow to cool off.

Hope you’re well, thinking of you. Don’t ingest too much pee!

love mum


eating frenzy January 13, 2009

Dear Speck,

Yesterday was a day of eating. I arrived at work and ate my large bowl of yoghurt and fresh mango. Soon after, deciding I was still hungry, I moved onto grapes. The large bunch I’d bought into work (intending that it lasted until Thursday) lasted until just before lunch. I took lunch early, cause I was feeling a little peckish. Lunch was a large bowl of chilli beans, which your dad had cooked the day before. It was pretty filling, but only made it until about 2pm when I needed more. 2 nectarines downed for afternoon tea / snack.

Went home and despite the fact it was 4:45 decided a snack of jam-drops (yes, I got around to cooking them on Sunday) was definitely in order. Ate those. I started with one but then decided as I went that 5 large jam-drops was a much closer estimate of the volume required to fill the obviously gaping hole in my stomach. Then your dad had a pack of corn chips so I had a few (it was just a few)… Then I figured baclava was needed too. So I ate that. Just one piece (they are little pieces, only 2cm square!)…

Buying the baclava. I only bought a half a kilo, which, as you can see from the size of the tray on offer, was very restrained of me. And I have been sharing it. Mostly.

While eating these delightful treats I was busy thinking about dinner and dessert ’cause I knew these would only fill me up for a while. This really is a distinct change from pretty much the whole first trimester when I avoided the kitchen and couldn’t really be bothered to think about food at all. So while eating at home I started cooking. First up was french vanilla ice cream with a fresh vanilla bean and lots of cream. Made the custard, put it in the fridge, then started on the sauce. I wanted to make fresh blueberry ripple ice cream, so using the kilo of fresh blueberries I got on the weekend, I added a little sugar and cooked a blueberry jam. Mashed up the blueberries a little and cooked on high heat. It tasted good. Froze the ice cream and then combined in beautiful purple swirls and stuck in the freezer for after dinner.

Assembling Dinner: leeks underneath, cheese on top, pastry nice and crispy

Dinner itself I decided that I wanted fresh leek, fetta and tomato flan. So made a cheese, wheatgerm flaky pastry, then did the leeks and the onions and baked it all into a big flan. Your dad didn’t seem happy that dinner was so late: 8:15 pm; but for me, it was the perfect timing between my last snack and an early bed (eating all day is just exhausting). Dessert of the blueberry swirl ice cream followed.

Yum, yum. I was famished all day, but managed to satisfy the hunger pains and keep myself occupied. Suffice to say I was replete at the end. And I didn’t do any bike riding ’cause I just didn’t have the time.


love mum


Growing Pains and Bumps January 12, 2009

Hiya Speck,

how you doing? I’m well. Famished today and yesterday. Have thankfully bought a heap of fruit to work so have eaten all the way from 7:45 am until now, when I’m onto my lunch. It feels like I’m finally starting to fill the hole. I hope you are getting some of it.

You have made your presence noticeable over the past few days. Well, I think so. My stomach seemed to ‘pop’ visibly within a day after those horrendous pains I experienced on Friday. I can now officially not do-up any of my old pants. Last week I could get them done up, though they were getting a bit tight when I sat. Today, no chance. I need to buy one of those stretchy bits of elasticy-stuff that let you wear your old pants basically undone but prevent your knickers from showing right on through. Today I’m just wearing a longer t-shirt, so its all covered but all is undone and free. I got some maternity jeans last week, so jeans are fine, but I need to go and get some other pants. Some of my skirts still fit if I hike them down.

Besides feeling bigger and having slightly uncomfortably tight clothes, its pretty great feeling overall! I now have a little rounded bump which feels good to rub, saying hello to you! I have to remember not to do it too much in public else I look like a freak. I wonder if you can feel just the rubbing – one of the books said you could feel a massage if I did one. I might give it a go again tonight when I’m lying in bed and see if you respond.

Hope you’re well and enjoyed dancing to Cat Empire on Saturday night. I did!

love you