i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Back in Sydney – and back into exercise December 31, 2008

Hello Little Munchkin Speccie,

I am feeling particularly well today!  Slept well – we are in our own very comfortable bed in Sydney again.   I woke up and felt you having a ‘flutter’ this morning while I attempted to sleep in (but was thwarted by your Dad’s phone ringing.. aagh); then had a relaxed morning of reading my pregnancy books (I left them at home while we were away) for you week 14 and week 15 (’cause that is tomorrow).  Your dad came and did some reading of them with me.  His comments weren’t particularly helpful – like ‘your gums might start bleeding – you’d better floss better every day’ and ‘oooh – vaginal discharge – yuk…  Have you got that yet???… Phew it stinks in this bed’.  In his normal charming manner.   But apart from that, and feeling like a beached whale, I was happy.

And I’m ready to face the new year and going back to work and what not with you in the picture.  I’m not going to study this semester, so hopefully your dad and I will have some time to do some fun stuff together before you come along, and really enjoy living in Sydney over the latter half of summer.  Your dad set my bike up in the living room for me last night so I can get back into pedalling (safely without any cars around) whenever I like from now on – which is exciting.  bike

This morning we also started some pregnancy yoga exercises from Janet Balaskas’ “New Active Birth”…  And they were good!  Your dad read them out aloud and did some with me while I gently tried to stretch different parts of my back, abdomen, legs etc.  All in order to make this whole pregnancy thing more comfortable for me, and to try to make sure you slip out easily when the time comes.  They weren’t particularly crazy – just like regular yoga but concentrating on the pelvis quite a bit.  All in all I felt really good afterwards – after being in the car driving for the past few days things had got a little stiff and the release of the stretches helped.  Hopefully we’ll be able to make time over the next few weeks to work our way through all of the exercises in the book then I can do them on my own each day before work or something like that.  Hope you enjoyed them too?

I gave you a little massage afterwards.  Apparently you can perhaps feel my massaging at this point.  You’re almost 8.5 cm long, which seems big when I look at the size of my stomach.  Yes, its got more solid and bigger, but its not huge.  I just look a bit fat really, unless you know I’m pregnant.  I do feel beached whale-like, but since we’re back home I’m going back to healthier eating and exercising etc…

Must run – off to get ready to go camping tonight for New Years Eve.  We’re off to Cockatoo Island in the middle of the Sydney Harbour where some friends have booked a campsite and we will watch the fireworks herald the new year.

Love you



I feel you moving! December 29, 2008

Filed under: development stages,pregnancy — rakster @ 4:30 pm
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Hi Speck,

Quick note to let you know that I’m still thinking of you, have just been busy running around with your dad getting ready for the drive back to Sydney and seeing friends and family etc.

And I’ve been meaning to let you know that I’m 99% sure that I felt you down there!!!! It was three and two days ago now, and I felt some consistent movement which I find impossible to put into words. Other women I was talking to described it as a ‘flutter’. Not sure that’s what I’d describe it as but it felt different to the achey pains and occassional sharp twinges I’ve been feeling right at the bottom of my abdomen. This was much higher and felt softer and just, well, different. I felt it quite a few times over a half hour or so, then again the next day.

Anyway, thought I’d let you know! I was excited.

Love you



Dreaming of Speck December 27, 2008

Filed under: dreams,pregnancy — rakster @ 10:15 am
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Hi Speck,

I’ve been dreaming a lot recently. Apparently it is a relatively common thing. It disrupts my sleep to some extent – they tend to be big, all engaging dreams from which I find it hard to wake. Mostly they aren’t about you specifically – like your Dad, I & Grandma K went to Greece the night before last; and the night before that was a nightmare sequence with some friends from high school.  But last night it was about you.

Last night you had already been born, but only just. You were just a little thing – a bit bigger than my hand, with minature nappies and clothes to wear. You were quite content to suckle on my colostrum (which appeared right away I put you up to my boob) and you seemed to enjoy it. You were perfectly behaved and didn’t cry at all, just made little grunty noises if you nappy was too wet or something like that. I had trouble remembering to bring enough nappies for you – I remember thinking at some point “why am I using disposable?” and then looking at you and thinking “oh my, its so small I don’t think the cloth ones would work”. You weren’t a boy or a girl that I recall. You had really strong muscles in your back after a few days and I was very surprised that you wanted to sit up by yourself.

That was about it – me and your dad with a minature baby that wet its nappy a lot but overall was rather content, going from place to place in our old green car (for some reason I remember the going between places and changing your nappy in the boot rather than where we went or what you did).


I wonder if you dream down there?

love you



A Specky Christmas December 25, 2008

Filed under: eating,family,pregnancy — rakster @ 6:49 pm
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Dear Speck,

Well, you certainly made yourself known today. Felt like vomiting for a few hours this morning and again a little queasy this afternoon (though that could be closely related to the amount of dark chocolate covered macadamias I gorged myself on).

All in all it’s been a very busy Christmas, and we are still off for another dinner in half an hour. Fun though – have seen everybody in one day – which is a feat in itself. It’s been pretty warm, so a swim in the pool was necessary, which made me feel a little better.

Sorry about all the sugar: promise to eat better next week!

Love mum


Brisvegas Adventures – Christmas is coming! December 24, 2008

Hi Speck,

How you doing? I feel that you’re doing pretty well. Since we got to Brisbane I’ve been eating a diet consisting predominately of chocolate and snacks (including fruit), so sorry but I’m sure you’ll have to go through a sugar withdrawal in a week or so, but that’s just what happens at Christmas time! Get used to it.

We made it here and have been very busy running around trying to get Christmas things done and see some friends and family etc. Your Grandma & two Aunts saw ‘the bump’ for the first time yesterday. Its really not all that big yet, but the fact that I can’t suck my stomach in at all is kinda funny. They all had a feel – down below my belly button the pubis area is very solid and hard, where it used to be soft and springy. Everyone is very excited.

Yesterday we went to your Grandma’s to get ready for Christmas and while your dad cooked Hommus, Babaganoush and Titziki, I cooked Anzac Biscuits and Jam Drops. Had a strong memory of my Grandma over the past few days, and she used to bake great date cakes and always had baked biscuits in the cupboard, so I thought I’d cook some for Christmas. It was fun and they all worked out well – I made Rasberry Jam drops with the Rasberry Jam that I bought at the Bellingen markets that appears to just be pure Rasberries. Yum.

This morning I’m off to go for a bike ride and take Luke & Freya to the pool – Luke has been keen to hang out since we got back. He starts school this year (which I find hard to believe – time flies). You’ll meet them. We told them about you the other day too and they were a bit perplexed (where is the baby, your tummy is small); but then seemed very interested when we explained that you were only about 7cm long at the moment but would grow a lot bigger before you came out to say hello. Luke in particular was very interested in your Ultrasound pictures – and liked the fact that I call you an alien – I think he now has some idea that some kind of alien will emerge from my stomach some time next year.

Must run – we have to get going early before the sun gets too hot. Enjoy the swim too!

love mum


Last day of our driving holiday December 21, 2008

Filed under: family,pregnancy — rakster @ 8:39 am
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Hi Speck,

Hope you’re well, I’m ok though had a major case of the tireds again yesterday and felt pretty erk all afternoon. Could have been cause we went through Bellingen on our way up the coast and had a rather late but lovely night at B&M’s house; or it may just have been that you were doing a lot of growing and using up all my energy. My tummy has been getting some strange painful twinges and what not recently – hard to tell if it’s you kicking or just my body rearranging itself to make room for the space you’re taking up.

Btw your dad has just come back from breakfast and he says “hello, I hope you’re enjoying your fruit and yoghurt”. He doesn’t like referring to you as “it” so he is alternating – this week you are “she”, last week you were “he”. Hopefully any gender issues you may develop won’t stem from this!

Otherwise looking forward to a last ocean swim today before we get to Brisbane and the craziness that I’m sure Christmas will bring. Tomorrow we also meet your Brisbane doctor for the first time, so hopefully that will go well too.

Love you, enjoy the swim



Fluttering and getting more solid around the waist December 19, 2008

Hi Speck!

Long time no write. I’m still making my way up the coast to Brisbane with your dad and grandparents, so it’s a bit harder to write – I’m on my iphone (which reminds me, I’ve been meaning to do an ‘historical’ post about the things that have been newsworthy and just synonymous with this year – time capsule like, but that can come later when I have a proper keyboard available).

Anyway, this morning I’m lying in a bed with a view straight out over the pacific ocean at Scott’s Head, and I can hear the waves breaking below. It’s pretty gorgeous. Your dad got out of bed before the sun came up, and I assume is off fishing somewhere down on one of the beaches (just so you know he never seems to catch much but derives hours of pleasure from just standing there doing it, which is great for him!). I stayed here in bed and slept in a bit longer as I slept badly again last night.

In addition to having to pee at least 5 times during the night ’cause your house is squishing my bladder, I had strange and disturbing dreams yet again. I’ve been having them for a while but they were a bit more sporadic previously, now they tend to be most nights and they are keeping me awake! I can’t recall last nights one now, but the one before that involved me swimming in a waterhole somewhere in the bush. There were two very large platypii (is that the plural??) that were on the edge near some rotting logs who came in while I was swimming and swam around too. Your dad was there too but I couldn’t see him, just hear his voice. That’s all I remember, apart from a feeling that the platypii were listening too and really wanted to swim with us.

No idea what that was all about but I felt happy when I woke up, and went down to the beach for a big long walk. I had been the night before too and was hoping to see more dolphins – the night before I’d seen a massive pod of at least 50 or so, with around 10 of the pod really close to the shore and doing tricks in the waves as the sun set. It was pretty cool – leaping totally out of the water, surfing the waves almost totally into the shore and generally having a great frollick. I didn’t get a dolphin repeat yesterday morning, but did have a good walk then a rather cool but invigourating swim.

And you seem to really enjoy the swimming and the walking. I’m pretty sure that I felt you flutter down there when I was lying down afterwards. My stomach is expanding at what I think is a very rapid rate (though unfortunately I think it’s due in equal parts to your presence and the ice-cream craving/fetish/obsession I have developed and have been frequently feeding). I can’t seem to suck my stomach in at all anymore, it’s simply just solid. All the better to feel you flutter with I suppose, but it is a very strange feeling to be expanding at a rate which is visibly detectable. Normally your weight fluctuates so slowly that it’s undiscernable until you look at a photo over months, but not with you. Boobs the size of rockmelons (they were large to start with but jeepers!) and a tummy trying to catch up.

I feel like a chat to you but in a disjointed holiday way, so might just leave it there and share some pictures with you from the other night’s walk. I thought a bit about you, and chatted out loud (there was no-one else on the beach), and generally just stared at the waves and setting sun.

Hope you’re well, you can look forward to more swims today!

Love mum


The amazing expanding stomach December 16, 2008

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 6:47 pm
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Hi Speck!

I have just got back to our little cabin after an afternoon of lazing on the beach under a beach umbrella reading my book. And again, it could just be gas, but I’m feeling very big in the stomach – decidedly pregnant. In fact the skirt I’m wearing is actually uncomfortable because it’s too tight about the waist. Your dad says I look great but I think he too is surprised at my expanding girth.

Otherwise all is quiet on your front. Cokemeister poo pooed the idea that you kicked me in the kidneys the other day by reminding me that you are only about 6cm long, which on reflection is true, another of those things I’m blaming you for on which you can’t defend yourself! Tough luck!

We started our roadtrip from Sydney to Brisbane with your Canadian grandparents today so tonight and tomorrow we are staying next to the beach in Seal Rocks.

It is beautiful. Maybe we can come camping here when you’re old enough to enjoy it. Lots of surfers around. Your dad caught a whiting but was unsuccessful in getting anything bigger – he says he’ll try again tomorrow.


Are you going to like books? December 14, 2008

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 10:39 am
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Your dad and I are at the library because now that exams are over I’m permitting myself the pleasure of reading again. There was a little boy who just screamed by me three times pretending to be an aeroplane on his way to the kid’s section. And it got me to wondering what you will be like – will you like reading and libraries as much as your dad and I both do, or will something else be your thing?

What are you going to be like? What are you already like?


woohoo! Holidays December 12, 2008

Hi Speccie,

guess what! we’re on holidays! Its official, work has finished for the year! Just those nasty exams tomorrow to knock over, then we’re free!

By the way, was that you giving me a sharp kick in the kidneys at around 12:45? It was such a sharp, unusual pain that went away really quickly, that I suspect you were trying to stretch the boundaries of your home. Please keep it down in there if it was you – it was very painful. Otherwise, sorry to accuse you of things which aren’t down to you – I guess you have no real way of refuting it. I guess you’re stuck with that until you’re able to talk. In fact, I can blame you for everything from now until then really.

I look foward to it. I can see the conversations now:
Your dad: “Where did all the lollies go?!! What’s mine is yours and I want some lollies!”.
Me: “Oh my goodness, you little monster. Speck, I can’t believe you got into the lollies again!”.
Your dad: “I thought Speck was still on milk”.
Me: “Well, I guess he/she has moved on quickly. Fast developer, just like his/her dad :)”.

Awesome. It sounds like it might just work out. There have to be some compensations for carrying you around for nine months!

Hope you’re as excited as I am.  Look forward to lots of swims and lazing on the beach.   I might read out-loud to you if you’re lucky.

Love you