i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

your dad cheated (or alternatively he was a creative problem-solver) and carpal tunnel attacks May 27, 2009

Hello Speck!

I got it wrong again – your dad didn’t win the celebrity babies (that was S of course & then K second), he won the “fill-in the nursery rhyme blanks” game.   Which I still find pretty amazing (they were hard).   But I got it out of him – how he did it.  Quite tricky really.   He collaborated.  With the 5 year-old L.   So your dad apparently sang the beginning of the rhyme to L & L just finished off the sentences.   Even the one about 3 men in a tub who apparently came from rotten potatoes (who would have known???).    It makes more sense now.   The baby food one I’m not as surprised about.

And I have worked out why my hands are so sore in the morning and why my arms keep being totally numb when I wake up in the middle of the night.  It seems I may have pregnancy-related carpal tunnel syndrome.   Another pregnancy-ailment that occurs mostly in the third trimester and should hopefully disappear when you’re born.   Something to do with the fluid retention in my hands and wrists and crunching up my hands when I sleep.  I’m going to try to drink heaps more water today and perhaps some camomile tea and see if that helps.  Its pretty painful, but goes away relatively quickly once I wake up and move my arms, wrists and fingers about (though this of course hurts).   Love the body changes with pregnancy.  You never know what is coming next.

Hope you’re well.  There is still lots of vigorous movement going on down in there so I suspect you’re not ready to come out yet.  Still in-training.

love you



baby shower, shopping for growsuits, downward pressure and lots of washing May 26, 2009

Hello Big Speck!

Well, its been an eventful few days – all about you and you and you.

Baby shower number two was on Saturday – your wonderful honourary Aunt T & Aunt S (& uncle L) put on an amazing party for you.   Lots of games and fun and people being silly.  It was a mixed affair – so boys & girls and kids as well.  It was quite funny to look around the hall and see at one point everyone with their heads down, concentrating on writing, writing, writing.  Answers to games, and birthday cards for each of your birthdays up to 21.  Pretty cool.   Your dad was the surprise of the day – he managed to win not only the baby food guessing competition, but also the match-the-celebrity-to-their-children’s-names games.  Go figure.  I came last in that one.   Mmm.  However I did win the “how many pieces of toilet paper go around mum’s stomach” competition.   Everyone thought I was being overly optimistic in my estimate (i.e. read they all think I look HUGE and I don’t think I’m THAT big); however on checking my 9 and 3/4 pieces was a perfect fit.   See, I know how big we are.  Your smaller Uncle J managed to catch everyone out many times by getting them to say “baby” out aloud using all sorts of clever conversational tricks, and collected a lot of pegs in that peg-collecting game.   And generally there was lots of laughter and running around.   And eating of tasty dips and treats all prepared by your dad (great hommus, babaganoush, tzitizki, garlic nuts, anzac biscuits -that was me, pita crisps, some kinda meat things that of course I didn’t eat)…  Oh, and how could I forget the “spit the dummy” competition.   Not surprisingly, the men seemed to excel at this one.   It was hard to remember not to eat and spit the dummy at the same time.   🙂

your dad practising baby handling with the baby bjorn

your dad practising baby handling with the baby bjorn

Yes, and we got a great shot of your dad practising baby pacification techniques with the new baby bjorn and an astro boy doll.   He walked around with a fake ‘you’ in the sling for hours.   Not sure I’m with the ‘wine for baby’ method of settling, but we’ll see.  Open to ideas at this stage.

After baby shower action I was totally tired tired tired.   I seem to be that way at the moment.  You are waking at odd hours during the night, I’m waking myself with very strong reflux, and generally its pretty hard to get comfortable with a watermelon attached to your torso.   And the dreams are full-on.  Stressful and all-engaging.  I can’t seem to wake myself from them enough to realise its not real so I lie there for hours not sleeping thinking weird things are going to happen for sure.  Like I’m going to have to have to have a cook-off competition – muffins against some crazy person –  in order to be able to make sure I get all your clothes washed in time for your arrival.   Obviously important issues that my brain is turning over, translating into perfectly logical scenarios in my dreams.  Not.   At least I’m not dreaming you’re an alien or whatever.

So, the ‘getting things in order’ aka ‘Nesting’ bug has set-in.    Its pervading my dreams and my subconsious.   I’ve made it clear to your dad that we need the baby room ready.  We went through all the clothes and things we already had on Saturday night, and made a shopping list.   By listing all the lovely things people had already given us (lots) and working out what we still needed.   Mostly it consisted of mini-grow-suits and nappy buckets and the like.   So we  went off to do that on Sunday.   Shop, shop, shop.   Now, I generally hate shopping centres and shopping, but if I say so myself we did it pretty well,  a few major stops and we stocked-up on size 0000 grow-suits, singlets, a few pairs of socks, nappies (only found flannel soft ones), nappy buckets, a soft thing to put on the change table for you to lie on, vitamins, leaky boob pads, a thermometer for your ear.

So for day one, you’ll have:

  • four (4) – 0000 growsuits with feet
  • 3 long-sleeved 0000 tops
  • 2 -0000 long-pants
  • some socks (not sure how many you need.  We’ll send your dad out for more where necessary)
  • singlets
  • some little short-sleeved suits.  Though its a bit cold for that
  • blankets to be swaddled in
  • two caps/hats for your head to be warm
  • lots of nappies

All necessary baby things.  You got mostly white stuff and some bits of blue and pink.  There really are limited choices.   I’m not sure why its so boring, but there you go.  Stifle them from a young age maybe?   You missed out on new cot sheets as I refuse to pay more for a set of sheets for a 1m baby cot than I would on sheets for our full-sized queen bed.   Thankfully your Aunt R bought some of your cousins old ones over yesterday, so now you have something to sleep on.

On the shopping front – still to go is a baby monitor, and perhaps a breast-pump.   I don’t know how you possibly make a decision about which one of these items to buy – there are lots to choose from, they’re expensive and do you really need polyphonic rhymes on your boobs??  We were looking at these items in a baby shop towards the end of my shopping-attention-span.   I’m obviously confused.  The polyphonic bits were on the baby monitors.   As was the ability to play a CD through them wirelessly.   That is better than our house stereo.   Sorry baby, but that sounds a bit over the top to me.     Anyway, we ended up buying neither of these items – I think I’ll send you dad out when you arrive if either of them prove to be dire necessities.

Your dad has also been doing lots of things to get your room ready.  The cot is now all re-finished and ready to go!

your finished cot

your finished cot

And you?  Well, you’ve been moving around down in there quite a lot.   You and I went to the friendly obstetricians yesterday for our now fortnightly check-up.   All is good.  I peed in the jar, I managed to miss my hand (wooh! that is a good achievement when its hard to see past your belly to what you are doing down there with a little bottle), I’ve got a bit fatter, your heartbeat is dead-on average, my blood pressure is same as always (low).   Best of all, just as your dad and I thought, you have been making your way slowly down down down.   Your head isn’t ‘engaged’ yet, but its certainly lower than it was two weeks ago.  Now I can feel your head bulge right above my pubis bone.  And you kick me less in the ribs than before as you’ve moved down slightly.   So the obstetrician said all of that was a good sign – the moving down and the lots of kicking and moving that you do.   After coming home from the obs office, you seemed to have taken what he said to heart.   Yesterday was actually quite painful as it seems you were trying to worm you way into my nether regions, but they just weren’t quite ready for you yet.  Think sharp twinges and me wondering if you were going to come early.   I went for a very short walk after work and I thought that if I broke into a run (nigh impossible) that you might come flying out.   I’m sure you wouldn’t have, I guess I’m just not quite used to the amount of downward pressure that you have started to exert.   My hips and pelvis got pretty stiff and I couldn’t sit in my chair for work either – I’ve gone to the backwards on chair position, and am alternating with the fit-ball.

washing the baby clothes

washing the baby clothes

And finally.  Its stopped raining (though its still a bit overcast).   And since we have a bunch of new clothes for you, and a bunch of recycled blankets, sheets and other assorted items (care of your Grandma K & Aunt R), its time for washing.  So wash wash wash.  I did three loads of nappies and a load of whites for you yesterday.  While they looked very cute they took an age to hang out – lots of pegs!   Hopefully they’ll all dry today and then we’ll be almost ready to pack a bag for hospital.   But before we do that your dad and I are going to lie in them for a bit, maybe when we sleep, so they smell like us.  Lucky you!  Smelly clothes from day one!  Hopefully then you can get used to us and our smell will be familiar and good.

the first line full of nappies - this will become a common sight at our house..

the first line full of nappies – this will become a common sight at our house..

So.  Today.  Work work work and some more blanket and sheet washing.   Only about 10 loads to go!

Hope you’re well.  Sorry about the indigestion last night – you seemed to suffer through it and wake all night too.   We’re not going to eat rich potato gratin anytime near bed again.   I don’t like vomiting at 2 in the morning any more than the next person.


love you



Bump picture May 22, 2009

Hello Speck –

So – this is your home, week 35.

See what I mean when I ask you to please stop pushing out as it is hurting my stomach??

It all really is getting pretty squishy down in there.  I don’t seem to have prominent stretch-marks yet, but it certainly feels like I am developing them.  However, I realise I’m lucky & I shouldn’t complain at all – there are a large number of women due at the same time as me on the forum I read who are having all sorts of painful complications:  gestational diabetes, early birth scares (with associated trips to the hospital, contractions, monitoring & drugs), pelvises that are totally out of whack (so much so they are using walking frames or are bed-bound), etc etc.

So really, we’re all good.  Your dad and I went for a walk last night, and the only thing that is happening is that my walking has totally slowed down now.  So its more of a meander.  Meander-waddle.  The weight out-front means that I do find it hard to balance.   So my waddle is getting more pronounced.   And its very hard to sit-up in bed when I’m lying down.  The muscles that do that just can’t cope with the additional weight of you and all the fluid you’re floating around it.

love you



Raining and Kicking and return of Baby Brain May 20, 2009

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 10:17 am
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Hello Speck,

its raining.  Its raining a lot in fact.  And has been all night and some of yesterday.  My limited supply of clothing is mostly wet on the verandah, so I can’t venture out in public until it ceases and dries.  My stomach has expanded to such an extent now that there are very limited clothes, even Maternity ones, that fit, so it is a bit dire.  But that’s ok.  You and I are having a pretty quiet time at the moment, so going around in stretchy yoga pants is totally an acceptable option.   So we’re taking it.

Days consist of waking up (you are waking about 6 am and having a big old play down there, which in turn wakes me), then staying in the warm bed as long as possible before finally dragging myself out to the shower.   Your dad is making us a lovely smoothie, then we leave for your Grandad’s house, where your uncle has invariably misplaced something and can’t find it in order to leave for school.  After that panic is over, we plug in our laptop and then tap-tap-tap away and work until R gets home after lunch.   Then we go home and see what your dad has been doing for the morning (currently finishing off the varnishing of your cot), and do some more tap tap tapping work.

Then its time to think about dinner and perhaps some exercise.   I look distractedly at the piles of washing and the stuff piled up in your room and the study that needs re-organising, get overwhelmed, so just chill out and watch TV or read a book.  You generally have a very active period from around 6pm onwards for a few hours, so I’ve taken to playing with you.  Simple games like pushing the foot around the belly.   Its very funny for me.  I think you like it too.   Small things amuse me at the moment.  Your dad thinks I am crazy (but in a good way.   He said fun & crazy & interesting).  Then we read a book for a while (currently on short stories again), and go to sleep.

The days are flying by at a roaring pace.  36 days to go according to the official count-down.   The weekends between now and when you come are chocka-block full with catching up with people, and going away, and a wedding and all sorts of stuff.  So please just wait a bit longer.   Until around 21 June would be good.   Then you’ll not only be full-term and ready, but I will have had a weekend away at a wedding and hopefully your room will be ready and my work will be finished.   And yes, work is much harder now.   Baby brain has returned with a vengeance.  It has come and gone about 5 times during the pregnancy.  Now its back.  I think the thing that is hardest is that I can only concentrate on one thing at once.  So my usual multi-tasking is just impossible to do.  And I have to write things down immediately I think of them / have a conversation with someone else I just can’t recall it five minutes later.  And if too much tries to squeeze into the brain all at once I just feel a bit overloaded & freak out.   So I’m taking one thing at a time.  Unfortunately work was supposed to be winding down but after the visit to Sydney last week there was a bunch more things I got given to do that have time constraints and what-not, so that is all full-steam ahead for a few more weeks.    So I am slowly working through each thing.

I’m a bit worried that you might come early.  I am still going to baby yoga at yogababy on Tuesday nights.  I’ve decided that even though there is a lot of talking, I like it more now.  I just take the bits I like from it and ignore the rest. And its an hour and a half where I can relax and think about you and feel pretty calm overall.   And its fun to gawk at all the other pregnant ladies.  There were about 26 of us last night.  All at least 18 weeks.   Its funny to see how differently everyone else carries their babies, and how big/small/different-shaped they are for how pregnant they are.  I think that overall my belly is a pretty big ball shape compared to others.  I am definitely bigger than a few women in the class who were at 39 weeks.   They were generally a bit less ball-shaped and round-all-over, wheras you really do look like I swallowed a big watermelon.   So yes, I’m thinking that you could come early, purely based on the size of my stomach.   Which of course is no real indication at all.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi.  I know you know I’m thinking about you, as we chat everyday and have a play too.  Your dad says hi, he also had a big long chat to you last night.

love you


p.s. oh yeah, and your dad and I think we might have a name or two for you.  The boy one we’re pretty happy with – there have been omens over the past few days which are making me more sure.   The girl one we have a few more options but I’m sure we have something that will match you.   That is kinda fun.   You’re going to have a name!   But we’re going to wait until we meet you to decide – just to make sure.  And it will be secret to everyone else until then.   🙂   I guess we could ask you and play the tap-tap game to see if you have a preference…


On the move May 16, 2009

Filed under: birthing,pregnancy — rakster @ 8:46 am

Good morning!

What are you doing down there? My stomach now looks like I swallowed a rather large soccer ball, but this morning it’s become somewhat lopsided. You were head-down, but I think you’ve swung around and are now slightly side-on. The hiccups give you away a little as they aren’t so low down this morning, but much more definitely on my right. Ahhhh.

Stay the right way around would you! At this stage head down is what we are after….

Love you


hospitals and surgery (no, for everyone else except you… hopefully we’ll be avoiding the surgery bit when you come, and minimising the hospital bit too. But I’m getting more used to them – hospitals that is.) May 12, 2009

Filed under: exercise,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 4:49 pm
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Hello Little Speckle,

Well, doctors, doctors, doctors.  Have spent the majority of yesterday and some of today around hospitals and doctors.

We (you and I) had a fun (not) morning yesterday in the oncology ward at the hospital, watching all sorts of people get needles and drips and what not.   Lots of waiting, waiting.  I was a bit stressed and then just got used to it.   You were pretty content with it all.   Not the funnest place on the planet to be, but not as bad as I expected it to be.

Then today we went to the specialist for my ankle,  remember I sprained it back when you really were only a little Speck?  Well, as they suspected, the orthopedic surgeon confirmed that my ankle needs surgery to repair it so I can walk, run and use it properly again.  They are going to have to tighten up my ligaments, reattach / move the reticulum around the ankle tendons, and then hopefully my tendons haven’t torn and all they need to do is strengthen them out and carve a deeper groove for them in my bone.  If I’ve torn them all to shreds they are going to have to take some tendon from somewhere else in my leg and then use it to repair the ankle.  Bone-grinding goodness.   Yay.   But as we knew, I have to wait until you’ve popped out before any of this can occur.   And once that happens, I am going to be unable to move around so much for a while, so basically I need to be able to pick a time when I can then afford to be on crutches for six weeks post-op to recover.   Yay yay yay lucky me.   So more fun stuff to look forward to.

Otherwise all is well.  You’re kicking around like normal and I’m feeling like a whale.  You and I are off to Sydney for the rest of the week tomorrow morning.  It should be our last plane trip on the way back, as I’m getting up to the no-fly time for pregnant people.   Its going to be busy, but hopefully we’ll get some time to chill out a bit too – not coming back until Saturday afternoon, so a little bit of hang-out and do non-work-stuff time in there too.  Anything special you feel like doing?  Well, you let me know…

love you



my brain is a sieve. May 11, 2009

ok. baby brain is back in a big way Speck.

What are you sucking out of me?

I can’t get it together.



Camping! Hurrah!!! May 9, 2009

Filed under: camping,pregnancy — rakster @ 9:56 am
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Good morning big Speck!

We left yesterday and are now here, sitting in the front awning of our tent, looking out over the trees with a hint of blue sea beyond. The bush turkeys are pecking around, hoping for some of the custard apple I am having for breakfast. It’s threatening to shower again – it rained most of last night, thankfully starting in earnest only after we’d managed to get the tent up and had just sat down with a bowl of dinner.

It is a bit of a sodden mess around the tent but the beach is beckoning and I’m going to go for a walk after I’ve lazed about some more. and guess what? That means that you’re going for a walk on the beach too!


pramway – woo hoo! it looks great! May 7, 2009

Hello little speck!

Ohaiyoo.  Genki?  Yoku netta? Yosh.

I am in a good mood this morning.   You are rolling around and reflux isn’t too bad.  Its a glorious day, and even though I have to work, your Dad and I are going to go camping this weekend so I have something fun to look forward to. And, your dad completed the construction phase of the pramway yesterday – woo hoo!

It looks fantastic, much bigger than I guess I’d thought about originally, but very solid.  Its not going to collapse if 15 people jump on it at once.   All that is left to do is oil/coat the wood a few times, and put some of the big potplants back in place.   Your dad has done an absolutely stellar job, with a little bit of advice & instruction from G, but all the construction himself.   And, he built me a cool little step for the kitchen with the offcuts so I cna reach the bench a bit better (yes, I’m a shortass).   He is now ready to tackle the world.

So, photos:

starting on the decking layer

starting on the decking layer

then the finishing touches…

then the completed structure

and finally, me practising wheeling the pram up the gangway.

practising with the pram

practising with the pram

You may have noticed that there is a bit of a slope. I can assure you that the pram rolls downwards pretty quickly. And I bet that you will have a trike or something at some stage which you’ll roll down and smash straight into the front door with when you can’t stop. The joys of being a kid. Look forward to it.

Hope you’re well. Love you.


feeling a little stressed and emotional May 5, 2009

Hello Little Speck,

Its very comforting to feel you moving around down there happily this morning.  I think your dad appreciated it too – he woke up and could feel you against his back.   And your hiccups were so strong he got to feel those too.  We were both happy to feel you being normal.   And I’m glad to say that your awake hours are actually currently in-line with mine – you wake up at about 6:30am, then play around for an hour or more; then you sleep, though sometimes you have a little play until about 9am or so.   You sometimes wake during the middle of the day, but definitely around 3pm is a big time for you to reawaken and do some fairly vigorous exercise.   Then around 6pm you seem to go a bit crazy – I suspect its when I haven’t had dinner yet and you’re trying to tell me your blood sugar has dropped too low.   Then its all downhill for me as I am generally exhausted and very ready for bed.   You often are still awake and there is some movement but you chill out when I go to bed and seem to sleep through the night.  You were waking me up before when this wasn’t happening.  So thanks.  My sleep has been better.

I think I overdid it on the weekend and yesterday – I had a bit of a meltdown last night and something like a panic attack after I went to bed.   I just couldn’t seem to get enough breath and was sobbing uncontrollably.  I couldn’t think straight and couldn’t work out what was wrong or why I was upset or what was going on or whether I could really breathe or not.  It wasn’t very fun and I freaked both myself and your dad out.  Eventually I got over it and managed to settle back down and go to sleep.  I am putting it down to Week 32 pregnancy hormones.   Our midwife in the antenatal classes was suggesting we all have a good cry in the shower.   And there are a bunch of women on the baby forum this week who all seem to be crying a lot.    So I’m guessing its a common thing and I’m just following the normal pregnant and crazy pattern.

Anyway, this is why we were both happy to feel you scrimmaging around like normal this morning.

Thinking of you.

love mum