Little Miss L is a bit under the weather.
But happy she has dogs on her jarmies.
Little Luna, or Boona or Boo Boo as we affectionately call her, is now four months old.
How time flies.
She is having a nap.Â So cute.
On my side, I’ve been noticing the effects of a cumulative lack-of-sleep and breastfeeding multiple times in the night for the past four months.Â Most particularly:
But on the positive side, Luna is well over the 100% percentile for weight, which is awesome as O is still off the other end of the scale.Â So at least I have one fat little dumpling.Â Yay.Â And she slept through the night for three nights in a row – from 6:30 pm to 4:30 am this Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, before reverting on Wednesday and last night to a single feed at 2:30 and then another at 6:30 am.Â WIN!Â I’m hoping that this is the start of a new period which lasts for at least a few weeks!!
This is my life.Â Feeding, sleeping, eating, watching, learning and trying to rest in-between.
But the rewards are big.Â Look at this beautiful girl!!
So! It’s Sunday night and I’m at Sydney airport, waiting for my flight to Brisbane. Thinking about my week and how I feel…
This is day-five I’ve experienced sans my little baby (toddler). The longest I’ve been before this was one night and two full days. This has been five full nights.
Mixed. Mixed feelings in general. I have had a great week: a mix of socializing and catching up with some of my dearest friends and some work in the middle of it all. And a bit of just ditting and resting. Not too much rushing about thankfully – just a few things each day. A lot of eating of good food with great conversation.
In fact, I think I have spoken and listened to adult conversation more in the past 5 days than I have in the whole year previous to this week. And I’ve enjoyed that (sorry to anyone who had their ear damaged by the unrelenting barrage).
The outcome? I’m proud that I’m still my own person and feel a bit more like they after 5 days away. It feels a bit silly to write that, and I don’t think I’ve expressed the sentiment I’m aiming to particularly well, but the gist of it is that my self-identity is intact somewhere beneath the mothering and I’ve had some time alone with myself in an independent environment this week to see that a bit more clearly.
But overall I’ve also really missed my little boopie. He talked to me a lot on the phone for the first few days, but today almost refused to speak with me. Both myself and his dad think this is because he is upset that I’m not there, feels a bit abandoned, and is expressing that by being grumpy and not wanting to talk to me on the phone. I hope he recovers quickly tomorrow morning when he wakes up and doesn’t feel like I did abandon him…
I miss his dad too. We’ve spent periods of our relationship where I commuted to a different continent, or travelled frequently, but right now we’ve been living together every day for a few years, and we are close. And I miss him.
Another positive however has been some time and mental space to think about the soon-to-be impending new arrival. I feel like I’ve had time to talk to my new growing baby, to play with it as it kicks and thumps it’s way around in my quickly-expanding belly, responding to it more in the way I did with O when he was in the womb, as I’ve not been distracted by a toddler in my side-vision constantly. So that has been great. A few minutes to start to envisage a positive birth and the changes that a new little body in our home will bring in around 10-11 weeks time.
And did I mention already that I’ve had great food and company???
Enough rambling. Finishing with two images that contrast this week’s experience: a picture of O having a bath in the kitchen sink a few weeks ago that I have been looking at while I’ve been away; and a picture if the passionfruit tart I consumed for breakfast on Saturday…
So, not sure what happened to the happy hormones, but they kinda just upped and left me all alone with the grumpy ones about a week ago.Â It co-incided with my pelvic-floor/back deciding that it really only had the stamina to hold a growing baby until week 28 and that it was just going to give up and go with the strain of it all.Â Pity it didn’t co-ordinate with my nerve-endings and decide to release a bunch of serotonin at the same time – that would have made it bearable.Â Why can’t we control that ourselves??
So.Â Grumpy 28-week pregnant lady on the loose.
That is me.
Thankfully however a few months ago I booked myself my first trip-away from child #1 (Poogie) down to Sydney for this week.Â So here I am in Sydney for a few days, sans-child and sans-husband.
A bit of work, and a bit of play before I’m not allowed to fly anymore.Â So today, after a day at work yesterday, I plan to shake off the grumpiness by consuming all manner of sweet desserts at Adriano Zumbo’s after a short walk from the relaxing lounge where I am currently reclining at Chez Shef’s…. (thank-you for welcoming me into your home – read: letting me invade and take over once again).
ps. I have just reviewed my state at 28 weeks in my last pregancy.Â And lo and behold, surprise, surprise: I was grumpy, the happy hormones had deserted me, and I was compensating with dessert…
p.p.s. and to cheer me up this morning already, two of our dearest friends just welcomed their beautiful little girl into the world. So I’m smiling at least a little 🙂
So I was in the middle of writing a rather staid blog post last night about the state of the kitchen and other of life’s happenings, when we heard you wake up and start coughing.Â Which then very quickly progressed to a rasping, choking, vomiting-but-can’t sound.
Rushed in, ripped open your clothes and had a look at you in the light and you were most definitely very upset and struggling to get breath in.Â Getting some in, but labouring and not happy.
So, we made sure you were breathing enough, then tried to calm you down as we threw some clothes on and jumped in the car.Â By this stage your coughing/difficulty breathing fit was over, so we drove the 4 minutes to the emergency department at the hospital and (more…)
Hello little pumpkin,
How is it all going down there? I hope well.
I’ve been thinking about you. Multiplying rapidly. I’m thinking you’re a girl. No reason to, just think you are. Maybe it’s a wish. Maybe not. Who knows.
My brain is going about 10,000 miles a second, same as it did when I was pregnant with your brother. I’m starting to get kinda tired, like exhausted, at the end of each day. About 6pm and I need to get into bed for a nap. But don’t always get the chance. …
quick note. just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you!
21 October 2010
Yesterday was Father’s Day here in Australia. So we got up (not so early, as thankfully for the first night since you came down with a fever 5 days ago you slept through, until 5am when you breastfed then went back to sleep until 7:30am. Bliss! First present of the day to Dad and me!!), then you and I cooked Daddy french toast for breakfast.(more…)
Hi Little Poogie,
you are fast asleep in your cot and I wish I were sleeping too.Â We had night three (I thought night four but your dad thinks night three, he is probably right as I’m starting to not be able to think straight) of trying to get you back to sleeping right on through the night again after a period of not doing so (yes, it was a one-off that night).
And gee, I’m sure it was easier when you were a bit younger.Â Now your fighting / resistance skills have increased.
Day one was fine.Â You woke up at 2am, I gave you a cuddle and a bit of a walk, calmed you down and you went back in your cot and back to sleep until 7am.
The next night you woke at 2:30 am and then stayed awake until 4:15, fighting sleep.
Same last night.
Me, a bit of a jumbling, crazy person who can’t quite think straight today.
you, tired.Â You were more intent on eating the floating toy duck at swimming lessons today than actually swimming.
this better work.
Picture a SCREAMING child being pushed in a stroller around the suburban shopping center by a very harrassed and wild-haired looking mother. Wayward glances from strangers (some sympathetic – most, a few judgemental) as the loud stroller starts to go in indiscriminately crazy loops and the mother’s breathing increasingly becomes jagged as she initially tries to continue shopping (but is in reality just pushing the stroller round the same old stands of generic boring clothing with an increasing fervour while not actually seeing any of the clothes at all) and she struggles to retain any sense of composure and “I’m the parent & I’m in control” feeling before fleeing for the closest exit with the wailing trailing down the escalators to follow her out into the heat of the carpark.
That was us this afternoon.
After another night of sleeplessness and random feeding, I for some reason decided that today was the day to go to the shopping center to try to find some clothes that fit me.
What the hell was I thinking? (more…)
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