my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

and she was listening…sleep… September 23, 2011

So, after my last post where I complained about the lack of sleep

My little darling slept right from 7pm to 3:30am last night. Woo hoo! I got more than 3 hours of sleep in a row!

Win for the weekend.

I however went to bed with another case of mild-mastitis, so not feeling 100%, so the lack of eating regularly made it slightly worse and I felt like total crap this morning :(. Have since made up for that by shoving poor little L on the boob at every available waking moment. A few panadols later, I’m feeling alright..

this is what I feel like when I wake up. thankfully there is no-one to take photos of me.

….
Spent the morning at O’s daycare, as he was feeling like he needed some more mummy time. I went in and read some books, playing in the garden with the kids, then went to his ‘body gumbo’ (or body bumbo as he says) class. A bit of a mix between dance/movement and yoga. It was fun. I think I enjoyed it more than he did. I can now do my salute to the sun with an animal impression at each different position. WIN! We will now be doing more yoga/play at home. It rocked.

….

now I am enjoying some me-time while little L sleeps and O is at daycare.

the sleeping babe - I got her cot out a week ago so she has her own space in our room.

 

sleepy-head Luna, 13 weeks old

Tonight I am going out with my amazing sisters, all four of us, for a drink. So perfect timing with the whole lots of sleep last night.

 

:) have a good weekend everyone!

 

grumpy and emotional February 1, 2009

Hi Speck,

I am grumpy and emotional today.  Your dad is really annoying and has yelled at me and made me cry.  And I told him I hated him.  Which I don’t.  But I was upset at the time.  Anyway.   Hopefully it will abate by tomorrow.  If its not all your dad’s fault it must be all your fault.  Not mine at all.   (kidding).

Otherwise.  It has been very busy here over the past few days.  Your Aunt 3 arrived on Thursday night and has been staying, and then Aunt 2 & D arrived for a night on Friday, and your dad came home too.  So there was a full house and we had a big breakfast all together in the garden yesterday morning before I headed off to yoga again and Aunt 2 & D went on their way.  They took away the little green car that your Dad and I bought when we were both at university and had been going out for just over a year.  It was a bit of a funny feeling to see it go.  Your dad lived at the Gold Coast and I lived in Brisbane when we first met, so we were forever catching the train and bus to each-others houses for the weekend and during the week, and borrowing cars whenever we could.  But it was a lot of travelling, so we looked forward to getting a car together.  Your Grandad lent us the money and we bought the little green car after a month or so of research.   It had been owned by an old lady and not driven much, and was in pretty good condition.  Anyway, 7 years, lots of camping, shopping, holidaying and general driving around later, it got retired a few months ago when we got a new second-hand car.  Not in your honour, we’d planned to anyway, but the new car has air-con (essential in Brisbane with a kid) and is bigger and has 5 doors so easier to get you in and out of.  So not sad to lose the old green car, but a little nostalgic.  We gave it to your Aunt 2 & Aunt 3 for Christmas.  Hopefully your Aunt 3 will get her licence so she too can drive it.  ‘Cause we don’t actually drive all that much, we tend to bike and walk quite a bit and bus and train and what not, although its pretty old now it doesn’t have many kms on it, so they might get some good use out of it.   See, I am somewhat emotional for some reason.

Yoga makes me feel a bit better – its been really nice this week to finally be able to get off my bum and do some exercise after being chair-bound for the past few weeks with my ankle.   Its making me feel more like a human and less like a lump that is incubating an alien and getting fatter by the day.   Its a strange feeling to be getting big – exciting cause I’m growing with you, but scary at the same time as I need to start thinking about the fact that while the fact that you’re getting bigger is good, the bigger you get the harder it is going to be to get you out.   I have started reading the Janet Balaskas New Active Birth book more earnestly than my previous cursory glances.  And have found a few places in Brisbane that offer Active Birthing classes for me, you and your dad to go to before you’re due to come out.  So we can practice and learn more about it.  I think we’ll book in for some soon.  Your dad is keen too.

your home - week 19

your home - week 19

Yesterday was pretty active.  Yoga, then me, your Dad, Aunt 3 and Deano went snorkelling at Gordon’s bay.   Your Aunt was very excited to see some Groper as long as her arm.   It was pretty cold in the water though, apparently there was a north easterly swell which brings cold water from somewhere.  A bit brisk.  But beautiful  – blue and aqua-green and a lovely day at the beach.   We then went for lunch & GOOD icecream at Pompeii’s in Bondi Beach.     Mmm.  I definitely need a new icecream maker though.  Mine just isn’t working as it should.  Not freezing properly anymore.

Cokemeister came for dinner and your dad made lovely moroccan fish with a rub he made and some hommus and a fennel and cabbage salad.  Yum.  And a berry (strawberry, raspberry and blueberry), biscotti and hot chocolate sauce thing for dessert.  Very replete.

Hope you’re well and not picking-up my grumpy vibes.

love you

mum

 

Yoga mark two January 29, 2009

Good Morning Speck,

How are you? Very quiet down there again, perhaps you’re busy digesting the large amount of food I have consumed in the past 24 hours. Some days I seem to just need to eat a regular amount yet other days I just feel like I’m starving and need to eat everything in sight. Yesterday was one of those days.

Your dad and you will be pleased to know that despite my tendency to eat relatively crap food and make little effort when it’s just me, I went and did a big healthy shop when I got home from work on Monday night, so we’ve been snacking on guacamole, peaches, nectarines and almonds mostly. One of my friends from work made me a huge batch of Indian rice custard after hearing about my recent addiction, so as that has no sugar but just reduced milk that is pretty good too. And I made palak paneer last night so we both got our spinach quota for the week.

What else? Well, I seem to be moody again. I helpfully told someone at work today who pissed me off only ever so slightly that ‘I don’t give a s* anyway, I’m having a baby and will be leaving and won’t be here when it happens anyway’.. Mmm, not really what I was thinking, just an over zealous outburst.   Your fault again.

Also went along to yoga last night.  Coke-meister bailed on me but I went anyway.  It was a normal level 1-2 yoga class at the great studio I went to with you dad for a while over a year ago.  We both enjoyed our courses there a lot, and the teachers are really good.   It was interesting – I got to do a few different exercises while everyone else did headstand and shoulderstand and a few other abdominally-taxing exercises, and I have to step in rather than jump, but it was good.  I think I’ll keep going to pregnant yoga when I can also, but this is a good option for me for the next period as we move back and forth between Sydney and Brisbane.  My ankle is much better and I have got a brace for it which helps with remembering to keep it in mind.

I didn’t feel you kicking around much last night but I think you were definitely on the left side still – you put me off-balance slightly.

Hope you’re well.

love you

mum

 

… and I continue to eat. This time to console myself. And you. January 18, 2009

Heya Speck,

Feeling a bit shit today.  Ooops, bad mum.  Your dad keeps harping on at me about how I’m not going to be able to swear with a baby / child.  I guess I should make an effort.  Anyway.  I feel a bit crappy today.  The whole, “I sprained my ankle” thing has turned into “I may need surgery on my ankle to be able to use it properly again” after a visit to the physio.  Damn damn damn. And I am annoyed that the first physio I went to the other day immediately after straining the ankle was so crap.   She had no idea, and just taped it up.   I knew she was crap, that’s why I booked back in for my normal physio on Saturday.  I figured at the time that really too much treatment close to a sprain is not really helpful anyway, so I’d just rest and then get better treatment on Saturday.  But unfortunately yesterday he basically said there wasn’t much he could do and I need to go and see an orthopaedic surgeon for an opinion.  And no walking, cycling, yoga, swimming blah blah blah in the meantime.  Yeah, I know I should keep positive until I get that opinion.  Which is what I did yesterday.  I just can’t do it today.

Coupled with the fact that all the pairs of shorts I tried on this morning didn’t fit, and it wasn’t so much the belly only being the problem as the ass and legs as well, I got a bit, “I’m going to turn into a big fat pregnant blimp and I can’t even go for a walk!  I feel horrible!”.  Kinda whiney.  It didn’t help that I spent the whole morning lying down re-reading a book (a good one – The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri): reading for too long puts me in a bit of a funk too.  And then when I’m done reading not being able to really walk around all that much to enjoy the gorgeous day just pees me off even more.  I’m putting it down to you as well.  Have been feeling really good but I guess with exaggerated highs come exaggerated lows.  And for the first time I’ve let worry really panic me a bit.  I haven’t felt you moving for a day or two and I’m worried about you.  Its silly, because no matter what there is nothing that can be done, but it would be nice if you could just give me a few good strong kicks.  Try the kidneys.  Yes, slightly masochistic too.   Today is a bit low.

So again, it is with food that I console myself or attempt to focus on positives and fun things.  A friend was asking me the other day if I have been craving anything, or if I have really noticed wanting milk ’cause apparently babies growing in bellies need a lot of calcium.  Apparently, you will suck it out of my bones if you don’t get enough in my diet (You really are a fully-blown parasite, huh?   Trying to kill me with osteoporosis before you’re even born).   Funnily, I didn’t think I had been craving dairy – I do eat yoghurt for breakfast with fruit most days, and lotsa cheese.  But then when talking to her I realised that I have been having a few hot chocolates at work throughout the week, and have even had a few milkshakes too, just ’cause I felt like it.  I usually really don’t like milk.   Once a year I might get a craving for a milkshake.  Usually strawberry.  Your dad groans and tells me that I don’t need one.  I insist for the next hour.  He gives in.   We sit down and I get through about half.   Then I give it to your dad to finish as I feel so full I couldn’t possibly drink another sip, even though it tastes good and refreshing.   Then I start to feel ill.   I keep the ill feeling to myself for about half-an-hour until it gets kinda bad, then I usually let out a big, “I feel sick, I need to lie down” groan.  Your dad says, “I told you so, you shouldn’t have had that milkshake”.  I think, “But I enjoyed drinking it”, but keep that to myself to elicit maximum sympathy.  There is none forthcoming from your dad.  He’s not good on sympathy when you’ve ignored his advice (heed the warning).

Anyway, I have noticed dairy related desires.  I won’t put them down as cravings, more as desires.  So yesterday for some reason I really felt like eating that greek-style rice custard that you can buy at the markets in West End and a few other random places.   So after dragging myself around the house feeling sorry for myself, I’ve managed to cheer myself a little but cooking it.  Pretty good first effort too (if I do say so myself).  I’d tweak it next time to make it milkier and less rich, but it tastes good.  Ryzogalo is apparently the name.  Have eaten a large bowlful and now feeling slightly less morose.

ryzogalo - yum.

ryzogalo - yum.

your dad eating ryzogalo

your dad eating ryzogalo

Hope you’re well.  Kick me would you. please.

mum

 

Happy 16 weeks! 4 months. OMG its going so fast! Yoga, cookie / biscuit cravings and more. January 9, 2009

Hello Speck!

I am feeling horrendous again today.  I think it was the wheatbran I had on my yoghurt for breakfast.  It just gave me a stomach full of gas.  I’m resembling a human drum again.  Unbelievably painful. Erk.

Enough of me.  What of you???  Well, yesterday you were 16 weeks way through your uterus-living phase.  4 months! OMG.  Only 4 weeks to go and we are at 20 weeks which is halfway!  That is crazy.  It seems to be slipping by very quickly now.   According to Kaz this week you are 11.5 cm long. And even more shocking, when I just opened a packet of gas-ease type of things I got in a baby sample bag from the hospital yesterday there was a bit of ruler/paper thing that opened out to show how big you would get each week and it says you’re going to get to 52 cm long when you’re born. That is just horrendous. How the hell do you fit inside my stomach if you’re that big???  It just doesn’t make sense. I’m only 162cm tall, so I just don’t see, even if you are curled-up in foetal position, ball-like, how 52cm of you can possibly fit in any space inside my stomach. Even if my body was different to all other humans and let you start to fill the big chunky spaces in the tops of my thighs. Well, maybe then, if one of your legs went down each of my legs… Enough of that though, that is impossible. You’re just going to have to limit your growth to a more reasonable size. Think of small and round and healthy and happy rather than long and lanky. I am going to look like a beach ball though, aren’t I? No matter what happens.

Apart from your size, this week you are supposed to be growing toenails. Toenails huh? Hopefully you’ll get your dad’s type of toenails and not mine. Mine are misshapen and not suited to women’s shoes at all. Your dad’s are much neater, standard and consistently sized. You should also be getting lanugo (downy hair) starting to grow all over your body. I trust this is happening. Most alien movies I’ve seen the babies and aliens don’t have much body hair, so I guess that if you get this hair I might start to think of you less as an alien and more like a person. Good luck with that too.

I had a big baby day yesterday, in and around working. Your dad and I toured the maternity ward of the hospital here in Sydney that you’re booked into. Hopefully we won’t be using it unless you come early, but best to have an option in case that does happen. Your dad got really excited and looked extremely happy (read grin from ear to ear) whenever we walked past dads holding tiny little bundles walking around the ward. In fact, we didn’t see any new mums, just 5 or so new dads with tiny bundles. I got a bit scared looking at all the medical equipment. The rooms / birthing suites were nice and big with lots of room, but were still pretty boring. Your dad and I agreed that even though there is a spa bath in them, it would be better to hang out at home for as long as possible cause the idea of being in a green room with low ceilings, fluoro lights and lots of medical bits and pieces for hours and hours, even if there is an exercise ball and bean bag, wasn’t that appealing. We might not have that choice depending on what happens, but home sounds more comfy. It was a pretty chilled-out feeling place though compared to other wards I’ve been to in the hospital. All in all, ok.

Next baby thing was that unfortunately we missed out on the ballot for the Natural Birthing centre spot at the RWBH. I think I mentioned that we entered in it before. Anyway, that means that we have to have the baby somewhere else. Which makes the decision we were going to have to consider about private vs public for us. And means that we’re planning to have you at the Mater in Brisvegas, where all your aunts and uncles on my side of the family were born (apart from aunt 2 who was at home). And where I was born. And its close to our house in Brisvegas, so even if there is a traffic jam I think we could walk there if you were on your way. Your dad and I are happy with this – we entered the birthing centre draw so that we had an option or two to consider, but it will work out this way too.

Speaking of jam, I started getting cravings for Jam Drops again yesterday. I notice your numpty grandmother has posted a recipe for me in the comments from last post to you, but its the wrong one. Who makes jam drops with a madeira recipe? I think I can make up the one I made before, so I might just have to do that. It was basically flour, butter, sugar and milk and jam. I’ll give it a go. Strange thing to crave, but there it is. Thanks anyway grandmother. I might try those another time but I’m really after the same thing as last time. Speck you like them, I can tell, otherwise you wouldn’t be making me have cravings.

I didn’t feel you last night / this morning, but pretty sure you got very active during and after yesterday’s very strenuous yoga workout.  First organised antenatal yoga class.  It was quite good – though I think you and I would have struggled had I not gone to yoga classes before and understood a lot of the poses from previous yoga experiences. There were only two other women in the class and they were both 16 weeks and in their first class too. I found myself perhaps not so discretely checking out (read: trying hard not to openly stare at all opportunities) their baby bumps. Mine was I think the least noticeable, though I don’t think the smallest. One of the women was tiny tiny, so her bump, while small, really stood out.

Pregnant Yoga Take One: to me, it felt really different being pregnant and doing some of the poses. I could really tell my centre of gravity was different with you down there. And I was really aware that there was a section of my abdomen area that didn’t stretch or respond to some of the poses in the way it used to. And some bits that are normally really flexible and fine were a little tender (like the groin area, though that could have been from all the cycling and frisbee but it was so pronounced I reckon it is shifting stuff around that area). Another thing I noticed was how sore my feet got afterwards. I really worked out the arches. Could be just ’cause I haven’t done it in so long, but I suspect the additional kgs I’m having to support makes a difference too. It felt really good though. I liked being aware of you down there. My breathing when doing it really moves up and down the spine a bit more and pushes out the abdomen to an exaggerated extent from normal. I guess it will get much harder to breathe as you get bigger. The instructor said that when you’re much bigger you’ll most likely join in on some of the poses and do some kicking and moving of your own, and that if you move around too much or head to one side of the uterus then my balance will be off and it will be hard to hold some of the poses. I look foward to that. Your grandmother was in charge of finding me somewhere local to go in Brisbane from April onwards. Hope she remembered.

Anyway, must run, stuff to do. Thinking of you down there with your toenails and hair.

love mum

 

Back in Sydney – and back into exercise December 31, 2008

Hello Little Munchkin Speccie,

I am feeling particularly well today!  Slept well – we are in our own very comfortable bed in Sydney again.   I woke up and felt you having a ‘flutter’ this morning while I attempted to sleep in (but was thwarted by your Dad’s phone ringing.. aagh); then had a relaxed morning of reading my pregnancy books (I left them at home while we were away) for you week 14 and week 15 (’cause that is tomorrow).  Your dad came and did some reading of them with me.  His comments weren’t particularly helpful – like ‘your gums might start bleeding – you’d better floss better every day’ and ‘oooh – vaginal discharge – yuk…  Have you got that yet???… Phew it stinks in this bed’.  In his normal charming manner.   But apart from that, and feeling like a beached whale, I was happy.

And I’m ready to face the new year and going back to work and what not with you in the picture.  I’m not going to study this semester, so hopefully your dad and I will have some time to do some fun stuff together before you come along, and really enjoy living in Sydney over the latter half of summer.  Your dad set my bike up in the living room for me last night so I can get back into pedalling (safely without any cars around) whenever I like from now on – which is exciting.  bike

This morning we also started some pregnancy yoga exercises from Janet Balaskas’ “New Active Birth”…  And they were good!  Your dad read them out aloud and did some with me while I gently tried to stretch different parts of my back, abdomen, legs etc.  All in order to make this whole pregnancy thing more comfortable for me, and to try to make sure you slip out easily when the time comes.  They weren’t particularly crazy – just like regular yoga but concentrating on the pelvis quite a bit.  All in all I felt really good afterwards – after being in the car driving for the past few days things had got a little stiff and the release of the stretches helped.  Hopefully we’ll be able to make time over the next few weeks to work our way through all of the exercises in the book then I can do them on my own each day before work or something like that.  Hope you enjoyed them too?

I gave you a little massage afterwards.  Apparently you can perhaps feel my massaging at this point.  You’re almost 8.5 cm long, which seems big when I look at the size of my stomach.  Yes, its got more solid and bigger, but its not huge.  I just look a bit fat really, unless you know I’m pregnant.  I do feel beached whale-like, but since we’re back home I’m going back to healthier eating and exercising etc…

Must run – off to get ready to go camping tonight for New Years Eve.  We’re off to Cockatoo Island in the middle of the Sydney Harbour where some friends have booked a campsite and we will watch the fireworks herald the new year.

Love you

mum