You’re so beautiful
dreaming of your birth April 1, 2009
good morning little squirmy one. You are moving around whenever I sit or lie still. Its been going for days. Given that I work sitting still, and sleep lying down, that is a lot of squirming. Its quite disconcerting to lie down and watch you make my stomach go into strange shapes. You can make it ripple, make a lump in it as you push up & stay pushing up, and make it just jiggle a lot. Good work.
Had a strange dream about you last night. I was reading about birthing before bed, so no surprises as to where the thought process came from. The dream was about you being born. Good for me, you came out really quickly, and it wasn’t too painful – I actually remember saying to your dad, “well, that wasn’t too bad, must have been really lucky”. Anyway, you were gorgeous except you had a very funny shaped little nose. Your eyes looked at me and I loved you a lot straight away and just didn’t want to put you down. You were pretty clean too compared to the mucous and blood-covered babies I’ve seen born before. You were also amazingly well-developed for a newborn as next thing in the dream you were trying to pull your own head up and I was trying to make sure I didn’t drop you as you squirmed around.
I think I have a phobia about dropping you when you come out.
And you were a girl, though I don’t remember seeing any genitalia, just knowing that you were a girl. You had a big head too. But it is your eyes that I remember most clearly. Bit spooky.
This week overall you’re suddenly feeling a lot more real to me. Might be all the moving around. I’ve started calling you baby, and now I really think of you as a little person more and more. Wheras before you were a bit more ephemeral in my mind somehow… Now you’re solid and you move me around when you want, and you seem to get cranky when I lie on the side you’re resting on, and you seem to respond to your Dad’s voice when he talks to you (or me) by moving around. And if you were born early you might survive in a humidicrib. Much more than just a speck.
anyway, hope you enjoy the exercise down there.