i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Farts: I am feeling a bit bloated after beer battered fish & mash (couldn't face chips) even though I pulled off most of the batter December 5, 2008

Good evening!

I was planning on studying tonight but after an early dinner at the pub with your Canadian Grandparents and dad I am tired (sound like a recurring theme?), so have bought my ‘puty to bed (you dad has finally stopped calling it ‘your baby’ now that you are around) and have decided to write to you instead. I have had a mashy day – feel like I didn’t accomplish anything at all at work, though I did go, and do remember doing some stuff. I also was supposed to get more blood tests (pincushion that I am) but forgot the forms so didn’t manage to get that done either – will have to go up to the collection place tomorrow morning instead. It was kinda hot, and basically I just felt distracted all day.  A bit like a few weeks ago when I could only concentrate for five minutes at a time.

Anyway. Your dad has a weekend of sightseeing, shopping for the upcoming driving coastal trip to Queensland, and general hanging out with Candian G&G planned; and I have a weekend of study ahead of me. You dad came and had a chat to you tonight, so you should know what is up.   I suspect you felt/heard the 8 rasberries he used to attempt to get through to you.   He promised you that as I was just going to stay at home and study, the most excitement you could look forward to tomorrow was hearing and experiencing the movement within me – ie. another day of awesome loud and large farting. I was a little offended at first, on my and your behalf, but on reflection his synopsis has some merit.

The pregnancy books all talk about constipation as being a side-effect of being pregnant, but I guess I just thought it wouldn’t really affect me.  Being pescetarian, and only really eating fish maybe once every two or three weeks, I generally have a large load of vegetables and all sorts of beans etc in my diet and have never had any problems with movement through my bowel.  Perhaps a little bit TMI for you, but essentially if anything, I am usually more on the flowing and free side of the poo equation.  But, you come along, and all that has changed.  I’m not suffering from the dreaded constipation, but by golly, there is none of the flowing and free going on anymore.  And talk about irregular.  I have read that my whole digestive system will have slowed down because of you – but seriously – i think if it were going any slower we could build bridges with what surely must be the vast quantity of partially digested food which must be in holding pattern down there in my intestines.  And farting.  My entire stomach almost looks like I am pregnant already because of all the gas in there – particular just up under my ribcage – I can push on it and it feels hard and swollen – like a big drum, or an inflated balloon.  And I just can’t stop but fart big, loud and long farts all day long.  I have to repeatedly leave meetings at work to slip to the bathroom and let them out.  I’ve given up at home and just let it all go, much to the disgust of your Canadian Grandma & the mirth of your father.  I am still insisting that they don’t smell at all, just that they are loud and frequent.  In fact, not only am I insistent on this, its a fact.  I can’t smell them, and I as the pregnoid in the house definitely have a heightened sense of smell, so I would know.  So there.  They don’t smell.

Perhaps another take on the whole farting affair is that it is a way for me to stimulate you to do some exercise down there: perhaps you have to wiggle around a bit to avoid the gaseous emissions coursing through the intestines nearby your little abode.  Or I guess I could just blame it all on you and say that it is my body having to feed you and dispose of all your waste that is making such a mess down there.  Whatever the case, your dad is right, the most excitement you can look forward tomorrow is a bunch of gas and noise.  Live it up baby!

Love you & thinking about you.



One Response to “Farts: I am feeling a bit bloated after beer battered fish & mash (couldn't face chips) even though I pulled off most of the batter”

  1. […] The digestive farts are back in full force, and much as I’d like to think I’m the kind of refined woman that manages to keep it to […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *