my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Reminiscing – are you that old already?? (and breastfeeding while looking at soft porn) March 25, 2010

Dear Poogie,

I read a post today by my blogging friend over at Pretty Little Stitches about people’s responses to her breastfeeding in public and a photo of herself breastfeeding in a gorgeous knit sweater she craftily made (jealous of the skills!)… And I went to write back a comment and got to thinking about an experience I had when you were a newly born little bundle.  So I thought I’d share it.  I seem to have been reminiscing a little over the past week or so about ‘when you were little’.  You’ve hit the nine month mark this week, and it just feels like yesterday that you were born, but also so long ago at the same time.  I’ve spent a bit of time reading over my old posts from June and August 2009 when you were fresh, and re-living the feelings I had.  They are almost tangible, and definitely tasteable when I re-read them.  Glad I’ve written some of it down to you via this blog.  But the story:

Breastfeeding … in a stranger’s house

When you were a few weeks old your dad and I went to a barbeque at someone’s house on a weekend afternoon.  We didn’t know them so well, but they have kids and we were invited along for their child’s birthday party, so off we went.  After being there for a while, I needed to give you a feed.  I would happily have fed anywhere, but all the seats where people were congregating were taken, and the lounge room chairs looked pretty formal and new.  I was still getting used to breastfeeding you and my boobs leaked everywhere all the time, and we weren’t the neatest of eaters, so before I plonked myself down on their new couch I thought I’d best check if it was ok.  I don’t know why, thinking back it was kinda silly, but I guess I was just being polite.

Looking around for the host, I realised she was occupied, so asked her husband:

“is there somewhere comfortable I can sit to feed the baby?”

I was expecting him to say, “sure, just make yourself comfortable in the lounge room”… But, what he said was,

“Um.  Ok.  Well,  you can feed him in our bedroom.  You know, some people are …”. Actually, I can’t remember what his exact words were, but essentially he indicated that some people might be offended or something by my breastfeeding or lack of modesty or something, so the bedroom would be best.

Mmmm.  So next I’m following him down the hall to the master bedroom, where he opens the door and lets me in and then leaves after checking I’m ok and don’t need anything…  And I look around and realise there is no chair in the room, so I’m going to have to lie down on their bed and somehow put a spare nappy underneath me to soak up any spillage as their bedcover is really neat and nice and perfect and dark purple satin so will show up any leaky milk for sure.   You’re crying from hunger at this stage so I try to hurry and get you attached and settled and happily feeding.  I decide that lying down isn’t an option as I’m worried that someone will come bursting into the room and as I really don’t know the hosts at all it would be weird to be discovered making myself totally homey in their bed with my breasts out and babe feeding.   I’m just not feeling comfortable about it, it would have been better in the lounge in the open.

Anyway, you’re attached, all is going well, happily feeding, when I finally notice my surrounds.  Lovely big master bedroom, with a big ensuite.  And then I look at the wall that is directly in front of me, next to the bed.

And see the pictures.

Of the couple.  Who I hardly know. In a late-80’s or early 90’s special picture that I assume would have been marketed under the banner ‘tastefully erotic’ or something similar.

Ooooh.  I think.   Not really what I want to be looking at.  So I turn my head to the right.  And then discover, above the bed head, MORE of the pictures.  Different poses, different hairstyles, same genre.

We’re talking no clothes, airbrushed edges, no down belows exposed but everything else with purple drape cloths and shimmery material as a  backing.  Lots of positions.  About 7-10 A3 sized pictures in all, taking up the whole wall.  Hard to miss.

Aaaagh..  I think.  Then I turn myself the other direction.  And find: both sets of pictures, perfectly reflected back at me in a huge mirror.

AAAAAAGGGH.

I was so distracted and concentrating so hard on getting you attached and feeding that I didn’t notice anything until it was too late.

Three minutes later, I’ve got bored of staring at my feet, in an uncomfortable position on the bed, feeding you with no back support surrounded by lots of lurid pictures of people who I really don’t know and whose bedroom I am now most decidedly uncomfortable feeding in, and there is a tap at the door.

Oh no, I think.

But no trouble, it’s just your Dad come to check and see if I’m ok and I need anything.  He checks up on me, also not noticing the pictures.   I point them out and he bursts out laughing at the same time as he starts fleeing the room…

“Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.  Enjoy the breastfeeding” he says as he backs speedily out of the room.

A good laugh..

It did provide me with the opportunity for a good laugh in the car in the way home.  And when I told your grandmother the next day she cackled too.

but isn’t there something slightly wrong with the picture?

But overall, although I find the instance funny, it’s also a little sad that people still are uncomfortable with breastfeeding, a natural and the best food for a baby, whilst they are perfectly ok with mild erotica in the bedroom and people they barely know seeing it…  Similar to Pretty Little Stitches’ experience…

I choose to see the funny side of it and celebrate it as a learning experience.

And you don’t seem to have been offput by the experience.  You’re still happily feeding away.

Breastfeeding the Baby

love mum

P.S. I realise ‘soft porn’ is a slight exaggeration but really, I had to get your attention somehow!

 

10 Responses to “Reminiscing – are you that old already?? (and breastfeeding while looking at soft porn)”

  1. Janelle Says:

    ROFL!!! That story was too funny, thank you for sharing. I don’t understand why he would put you in his bedroom with naked pics of them all over the walls. You would think that’s indecent…

    One of the people that left me a comment about how innapropriate my bf pic was happened to post a survey of how much she was thinking about sex on the homepage. Twice. In a row. Of course I wasn’t offended, but I pointed out to her that it was ironic that she would think my pic was so offensive, but this wasn’t. She responded and said I am hostile. Go figure.

    • rakster Says:

      thanks :) I thought it was funny at the time but was a bit sleep-deprived and new to it all. Now I’m totally comfortable with the whole mothering thing it seems even more crazily funny.

      And yes, ‘Ironic’ is the term that springs to mind.

      Hostile! :) he he he. I’m laughing as I picture a bondage-clad woman who won’t breastfeed her child in public but likes to be whipped. (not that there is anything wrong with wanting to be whipped but hey, hostile? indicates a bit of an underlying issue… )

  2. Janelle Says:

    Oh yeah, I LOVE your pic. I love when baby wakes up just enough to feed and we’re both laying down, and he drifts back to sleep so content, still eating. Lying down is my favorite way to feed.

  3. Lindy Says:

    That is just hilarious! And mostly because it is very well-written! I am enjoying keeping up with you via your blogging, would love to catch up in person and introduce my little family to yours, xo.

    • rakster Says:

      thanks! :)

      have been thinking of that and was just talking about you to someone this afternoon (strange how these things work)… I’ll msg you on facestalker.

  4. That is SO funny. Really, how many boudoir photos does one couple need?

    I had a similar experience when I was first breastfeeding (no, not THAT similar). I was at an outdoor event with very few seats and they were all taken. Rather than just plop myself down onto the rather narrow pathway, I made the mistake of asking someone in charge if there was somewhere I could nurse. What I meant was, Please kick one of these loafers out of the chairs so a mama and hungry baby can have a seat, which is more what you meant, too. But what people hear when you say that, apparently, is: Please give me absolute privacy. So she led me to a little open shed. It was actually rather idyllic for a shed, so I allowed it, but I learned to be more specific in my requests in future! 😉

    • rakster Says:

      Mmm. I’ve nothing against boudoir photos, I just wasn’t into theirs!

      And you experience sounds exactly the same as mine :) I’m probably being a bit disingenuous about his motivation: he was probably concerned that I wanted to protect my modesty and keep it private. I’ve also learned to be more specific!

  5. Lulu Says:

    Hey, thanks for comment on my blog! Funny that feeding in public has sparked a couple posts on the web lately!

    Your experience is hilarious (although at the time probably not so much huh?!)- I can not believe the pictures they had. So funny!

    • rakster Says:

      you’re welcome, and thanks back.

      It’s an interesting topic.. the Australian Breastfeeding Association has some interesting letters over the last few magazines about it too.. Mostly good positive stories. …

      :)


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