my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

You're twelve weeks old September 11, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,development stages,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 11:04 am
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Hello Poogie Woogie,

Well. Days are flying by and all I seem to do still is feed you, change you, get you to sleep (though you’re pretty good at that yourself, I must say – compliments). Repeat. Oh. That’s not true. We do lots of talking practice and read books and practice mouth movements in between too. But basically my whole day gets sucked up playing with you and looking after you. Its crazy. I knew it would be like this but at the same time its still very different from what I expected. The time is flying by but it isn’t at the same time. You’re 12 weeks old tomorrow.

So, what have you done in the first twelve weeks? So many things:

  • learned to look at us and interact with your eyes (you can now beat me in a staring competition and you sure are expressive with your eyes)
  • learned to smile and giggle and laugh with people who are talking to you
  • learned to use your hands – putting them in your mouth and staring at them close-up to your face, starting to grab things and hold on (only just)
  • learned to hold your head up when you’re in tummy time and look around – you’ve got much stronger than when you first came home from hospital
  • learned to practice talking. You’re not quite babbling yet, but you’re almost there – lots of ohhh, ahh noices. Your current nickname (from your dad and I) is “Apu”. We’re thinking of it being your second name.
  • learned to put yourself to sleep. Now this one is pretty good. I’m proud of you for this. When you”re tired, as long as you’re not overtired, we can pop you down in your cot, maybe slightly swaddled, and you’ll go to sleep by yourself, quite happily. WHen you’re overtired, nothing works but putting you in the sling and bouncing you around for 5 minutes. And listening to a bit of screaming in the meantime.
  • learned how to breastfeed MUCH better than when you started. Ahh.. And the best – you’re good at it lying down too.
  • learned what being scared is like (at the football)
  • learned how to listen to stories being read to you
  • learned how to poke your tongue out at me (imitating me poking mine at you)
  • and grown out of three sizes of clothing (you’re now a size 00 – been through 00000, 0000 and 000).
  • … the list goes on …
  • and finally this week you’ve learned what it is like to get diarrohea (and mum has learned how many nappies it is possible to go through in one day. Hundreds. By the way the doctor thinks maybe the diarrohea is from your Rota virus vaccination, but you’re otherwise ok in that you’re not dehydrated, your temperature is normal so its all good).

you sleeping this morning - 12 weeks old. In your normal 'arms-out' position

I had to count through the calender today to work out how many weeks old you were – for some reason I thought it was more like 14-15, but then I figured you weren’t quite 3 months yet, so I had to be wrong…

So. We’re down to Lismore with you for the night tonight, and then hopefully the beach with you tomorrow. I am going to have to find you a sun-safe suit to wear. Your Aunt R kindly gave you some excellent new swimmers that will hold everything in (like a tight wet-suit) and you have the gorgeous board shorts from A-M, so you’re good for swimming, but might need more for extra coverage during the day… And a new hat.

🙂

love you

mum

Me and You Today - 11 weeks 6 days. Gee you're big!

Me and You Today - 11 weeks 6 days. Gee you're big!

 

Penis rules. We have all of this in front of us… August 29, 2009

Filed under: development stages,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 4:04 pm
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Dear Poogie,

I’ve just peed myself laughing (haven’t done enough kegels exercises yet following your birth – tut tut me) reading a story from another mum about her ‘penis rules’ for her boys.  Which struck a chord with me particularly as I’ve had a number of conversations in the past week with other mums about their boys and their boys penises.  Specifically, mishaps that involve the said appendages.  They can and do frequently occur.   Sadly for you, I’ve come to the conclusion that despite my best efforts I think I’m still going to laugh laugh laugh when you do injure it in strange ways, as is bound to happen.  Which will make me a crap mum.  But human.

Thinking about these things makes me realise that I have A LOT to learn about having a boy in the family.  I have LOTS of sisters who I grew up with (they are quite a bit younger, so I saw the growing, the mishaps, misadventures & achievements).   Your Aunts.  But I only have two brothers,  your uncles, and they are a lot younger than me.  And I was living overseas much of the time when they were really small.   To tell the truth, I’m a bit apprehensive about how the hell I’m going to manage with a boy.  So to laugh about penis misadventures somewhat diffuses the tension for me.  There – my poor justification for the future when I just can’t help myself but laugh at you…

So.. Stories this week about penis misadventures in small boys I’ve heard include:

  • slamming the penis between two kitchen cupboard doors while swinging on them.  Ow!
  • playing with the penis in public spots and places like the living room to the consternation of more conservative relatives.  Institution of the ‘only in room and bathroom’ rule.  Subsequent observation of vigorous hand action under a pillow while on the couch.
  • getting the penis somehow caught in a Thomas the Tank Engine battery-operated train and it somehow getting threaded through the rolling mechanism.  This apparently required total destruction of the Thomas the Tank Engine engine by two people to extricate the said squished willy.  Ouch.
  • using the penis as an exploding hose as someone laughed once when this was done by mistake.   I.e. holding the hand over the end of the penis while weeing.  In the living room.  (large clean-up).   Unfortunately it became a party trick very quickly.
  • lots of incidents of foreskin getting stuck and needing medical attention to get it put back in the right spot…. ahh
  • loving a brother’s penis

What I don’t know yet is any personal stories from your Dad’s childhood.  Grandma E – anything you want to let us know about to add to the collection???

So now I’m ready for the day you will inevitably injure your little penis (I mean that in the cute  sense though really I should know better that to use that adjective anywhere near the word penis)

The outcome of all of this is going to be the start of ‘Penis Rules’ in our house.

Faemom‘s penis rules are:

  1. You can only play with your penis when you are alone in your room.
  2. You are not allowed to play with someone else€™s penis.
  3. You must have pants on to go out front.
  4. When in public, including the front yard, you may not take your penis out to show any one.

Which are all fair and good in terms of behaviour and decency…  But what about safety.  So can we think about adding

5. No naked penises near the kitchen cupboards

6. No playing with the train set with a bare penis

7. No using the penis as an exploding hose

8. No touching the foreskin ever

I guess it could go on forever, and won’t exclude all possibilities.  So – here it is.

5.  You are responsible for the safe conduct of your own penis.

A fundamental rule I think I’m going to have to learn as a mum.  And I think a lasting one.  In fact it seems to me to be applicable right through childhood, puberty and into adulthood. 🙂

Love you and your penis.  Though not in a wrong way.

mum

 

Maternal Love Overload August 19, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,development stages,emotion,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 12:32 pm
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Hello Little Poogie,

YOU ARE SO CUTE.

Yes, I’m shouting.  Cause you are the cutest baby on the planet.  In my slightly, oh just slightly, biased opinion.

This is just a quick note to let you know that I haven’t been writing because I’ve been consumed by you.  You take up all my day.  It used to be just feeding and sleeping and washing and the like.  But now that you are awake more and practising talking noises, its playing, reading books, talking practice, discussing politics etc.   Well, I talk to you about politics.  That conversation is  a bit one-sided.  Goo-goo ga-ga is more your style.

Anyway.   I’m not sure what has happened, but in the last week or so something has definitely gone on with my hormones.  They have kicked in with a big shebang once again and just made me fall totally head-over-heels in love with you.  Crazily. Scarily.  OMG if someone does anything to you I will tear them limb from limb with my bare hands – slightly psycho-ly.

Just so you know.  This may well pass, but right now I’m all loved-up and you are the best.  Even when you do large explosive foamy disgusting smelling poos that leak out all through your clothing, your wrap, into your carseat, and seep down through the holes into the car.

poo!

poo!

No, I don’t like cleaning it up, but I still love you!

smiling and talking

smiling and talking

love mum

p.s. you are 8 weeks and four days old today.  And two months exactly tomorrow!

smiling!

smiling!

 

Old MacDonald and smiling August 4, 2009

Filed under: development stages,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 4:29 pm
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Hello Oscar!

Guess what – you’ve really started to smile in earnest now.  It started last week, with a few vague and tentative smiles at me and your dad, and now it has progressed to definite smiles, and yesterday I got a first giggle.   Your little dimples come out, and as you have a toothless grin you look adorable but at the same time there is a slightly scarily uncanny resemblance to The Joker.

So – what elicits a smile in a six-week old Oscar? Well, definitely booby. Yes, often when you’ve drifted off to sleep or just a 2-second cat-nap while feasting your little heart out on wholesome breastmilk, you just relax your head back and I get a huge “I’m blissed out and everything is wonderful” smile, often with a bit of nipple still in your mouth. Its kinda rewarding to know that you’re happy down there and I’m providing everything you could possibly need in terms of sustenance and nutrition, and not only that, you enjoy it!

Sometimes you just like to smile when you see your Dad and I or you’re trying to talk to us.

And the best way I’ve found so far to get a smile out of you is to sing “Old MacDonald had a farm”. Yes, lucky you! You definitely recognise the song now and smile when I start to sing the tune. Works a treat with the smiles too. Why do you recognise it? Well, its the only song/tune of a nursery rhyme/baby tune that I can actually remember at this point. So apart from the nonsensical babble songs I make up and sing to you, Old MacDonald is the staple. So its a good thing that you seem to like it. Though it is, I have to admit, starting to bore the crap out of me. There are only so many times you can sing it to yourself before you start to invent animals that couldn’t possibly be on old MacDonalds farm and try to do the noises. Depending on my level of tiredness, this either is a fun game to amuse myself with or just tiresome ’cause I realise how little I know about animals sounds and what a lot I have to learn as a mum in order to live up to the best Old MacDonald standard. The best effort I’ve done so far is Old MacDonald’s dinosaur farm, though past the teradactyl I’m not sure I got even an approximation of what other people might think dinosaurs sounded like.

And at this stage, regardless of what I do with the animals, you love the song. So I guess I’m on the right track…

So – on the to-do list.
1. Learn some more songs to sing to you. This might involve downloading some or something as I just can’t recall the tunes for any really. Oh, maybe Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear. But that is only 5 lines long and again will get boring pretty quickly!
2. Learn some more exciting farm animals so I can vary Old MacDonald a bit more.
3. Keep on singing to you. As I’ve told your dad, until you get to the age of like seven, I reckon you’re going to think my singing voice is like the best thing you’ve ever heard. As such a phenomenon hasn’t ever been seen before (i.e. someone thinking my singing voice is the best thing ever), I think I have to ‘milk-it’ for as much as I can get. Gotta be appreciated for something! So be prepared.

love and kisses (and smiles)
mum

P.S. Best way to get rid of a smile? Try to take a photo!

 

The view from where I’m lying June 14, 2009

Filed under: development stages,pregnancy — rakster @ 9:44 am
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Hello Speck!

I thought as I lay in bed this morning that I’d share with you what it feels like to be carrying you around at this stage.  Its not something I can readily describe, so a photo is going to have to suffice.

So:  This is what you look like to me when I’m lying in bed…

the view of your home from my perspective – i can still see my toes, just!

Somewhat like a beached whale, you have to agree…

mmm..

love you

mum

 

bye bye beach, hello winter… You must enjoy being home – a kicking squirming you has kept me awake again! June 9, 2009

Filed under: birthing,development stages,pregnancy — rakster @ 12:36 pm
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Hello Speck,

We saw whales frollicking in the ocean yesterday, and had a great big lie on the beach, I think my stomach got a bit of sun so the outside of your home has a pinker tinge than before. But, we unfortunately had to end our holiday and come home 🙁 …. I miss the view already…

view from our room - whales and surf

So, we trekked on back from the coast yesterday and I’m back at my computer, tap, tap, tapping this morning. You are also awake and active. In fact, you’ve been awake and active for hours. Since about 3:30 am. I think you got annoyed with me lying on you so woke up and prodded me about until I moved, and you haven’t let up since.

Your Grandad is pretty sick, so we’ve been over to see him this morning and he says hello. You obligingly kicked away while we saw him to let us know you’re excited to meet him too. Otherwise its all a bit uneventful. Despite having written a list of things to pack in the hospital bag, I haven’t done that yet. So I have to get to that today or tomorrow. And then we’ll be ready to head off whenever. I’m starting to feel a bit nervous about you arriving again. I wasn’t nervous for the past few weeks, I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. But now that its imminent, I’m starting to worry a little. Come on pregnancy hormones, where are you? Don’t desert me now!

I can see why people get sick of waiting and just want their babies OUT towards the end…

love you
keep on growing a bit more (but not too much – you have to fit through my pelvis).
mum

 

Big stomach June 5, 2009

Filed under: development stages,pregnancy — rakster @ 8:17 pm
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You’re growing down in there

week 37 huge pregnant belly!

 

 

baby shower, shopping for growsuits, downward pressure and lots of washing May 26, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,birthing,development stages,dreams,eating,family,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 11:51 am
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Hello Big Speck!

Well, its been an eventful few days – all about you and you and you.

Baby shower number two was on Saturday – your wonderful honourary Aunt T & Aunt S (& uncle L) put on an amazing party for you.   Lots of games and fun and people being silly.  It was a mixed affair – so boys & girls and kids as well.  It was quite funny to look around the hall and see at one point everyone with their heads down, concentrating on writing, writing, writing.  Answers to games, and birthday cards for each of your birthdays up to 21.  Pretty cool.   Your dad was the surprise of the day – he managed to win not only the baby food guessing competition, but also the match-the-celebrity-to-their-children’s-names games.  Go figure.  I came last in that one.   Mmm.  However I did win the “how many pieces of toilet paper go around mum’s stomach” competition.   Everyone thought I was being overly optimistic in my estimate (i.e. read they all think I look HUGE and I don’t think I’m THAT big); however on checking my 9 and 3/4 pieces was a perfect fit.   See, I know how big we are.  Your smaller Uncle J managed to catch everyone out many times by getting them to say “baby” out aloud using all sorts of clever conversational tricks, and collected a lot of pegs in that peg-collecting game.   And generally there was lots of laughter and running around.   And eating of tasty dips and treats all prepared by your dad (great hommus, babaganoush, tzitizki, garlic nuts, anzac biscuits -that was me, pita crisps, some kinda meat things that of course I didn’t eat)…  Oh, and how could I forget the “spit the dummy” competition.   Not surprisingly, the men seemed to excel at this one.   It was hard to remember not to eat and spit the dummy at the same time.   🙂

your dad practising baby handling with the baby bjorn

your dad practising baby handling with the baby bjorn

Yes, and we got a great shot of your dad practising baby pacification techniques with the new baby bjorn and an astro boy doll.   He walked around with a fake ‘you’ in the sling for hours.   Not sure I’m with the ‘wine for baby’ method of settling, but we’ll see.  Open to ideas at this stage.

After baby shower action I was totally tired tired tired.   I seem to be that way at the moment.  You are waking at odd hours during the night, I’m waking myself with very strong reflux, and generally its pretty hard to get comfortable with a watermelon attached to your torso.   And the dreams are full-on.  Stressful and all-engaging.  I can’t seem to wake myself from them enough to realise its not real so I lie there for hours not sleeping thinking weird things are going to happen for sure.  Like I’m going to have to have to have a cook-off competition – muffins against some crazy person –  in order to be able to make sure I get all your clothes washed in time for your arrival.   Obviously important issues that my brain is turning over, translating into perfectly logical scenarios in my dreams.  Not.   At least I’m not dreaming you’re an alien or whatever.

So, the ‘getting things in order’ aka ‘Nesting’ bug has set-in.    Its pervading my dreams and my subconsious.   I’ve made it clear to your dad that we need the baby room ready.  We went through all the clothes and things we already had on Saturday night, and made a shopping list.   By listing all the lovely things people had already given us (lots) and working out what we still needed.   Mostly it consisted of mini-grow-suits and nappy buckets and the like.   So we  went off to do that on Sunday.   Shop, shop, shop.   Now, I generally hate shopping centres and shopping, but if I say so myself we did it pretty well,  a few major stops and we stocked-up on size 0000 grow-suits, singlets, a few pairs of socks, nappies (only found flannel soft ones), nappy buckets, a soft thing to put on the change table for you to lie on, vitamins, leaky boob pads, a thermometer for your ear.

So for day one, you’ll have:

  • four (4) – 0000 growsuits with feet
  • 3 long-sleeved 0000 tops
  • 2 -0000 long-pants
  • some socks (not sure how many you need.  We’ll send your dad out for more where necessary)
  • singlets
  • some little short-sleeved suits.  Though its a bit cold for that
  • blankets to be swaddled in
  • two caps/hats for your head to be warm
  • lots of nappies

All necessary baby things.  You got mostly white stuff and some bits of blue and pink.  There really are limited choices.   I’m not sure why its so boring, but there you go.  Stifle them from a young age maybe?   You missed out on new cot sheets as I refuse to pay more for a set of sheets for a 1m baby cot than I would on sheets for our full-sized queen bed.   Thankfully your Aunt R bought some of your cousins old ones over yesterday, so now you have something to sleep on.

On the shopping front – still to go is a baby monitor, and perhaps a breast-pump.   I don’t know how you possibly make a decision about which one of these items to buy – there are lots to choose from, they’re expensive and do you really need polyphonic rhymes on your boobs??  We were looking at these items in a baby shop towards the end of my shopping-attention-span.   I’m obviously confused.  The polyphonic bits were on the baby monitors.   As was the ability to play a CD through them wirelessly.   That is better than our house stereo.   Sorry baby, but that sounds a bit over the top to me.     Anyway, we ended up buying neither of these items – I think I’ll send you dad out when you arrive if either of them prove to be dire necessities.

Your dad has also been doing lots of things to get your room ready.  The cot is now all re-finished and ready to go!

your finished cot

your finished cot

And you?  Well, you’ve been moving around down in there quite a lot.   You and I went to the friendly obstetricians yesterday for our now fortnightly check-up.   All is good.  I peed in the jar, I managed to miss my hand (wooh! that is a good achievement when its hard to see past your belly to what you are doing down there with a little bottle), I’ve got a bit fatter, your heartbeat is dead-on average, my blood pressure is same as always (low).   Best of all, just as your dad and I thought, you have been making your way slowly down down down.   Your head isn’t ‘engaged’ yet, but its certainly lower than it was two weeks ago.  Now I can feel your head bulge right above my pubis bone.  And you kick me less in the ribs than before as you’ve moved down slightly.   So the obstetrician said all of that was a good sign – the moving down and the lots of kicking and moving that you do.   After coming home from the obs office, you seemed to have taken what he said to heart.   Yesterday was actually quite painful as it seems you were trying to worm you way into my nether regions, but they just weren’t quite ready for you yet.  Think sharp twinges and me wondering if you were going to come early.   I went for a very short walk after work and I thought that if I broke into a run (nigh impossible) that you might come flying out.   I’m sure you wouldn’t have, I guess I’m just not quite used to the amount of downward pressure that you have started to exert.   My hips and pelvis got pretty stiff and I couldn’t sit in my chair for work either – I’ve gone to the backwards on chair position, and am alternating with the fit-ball.

washing the baby clothes

washing the baby clothes

And finally.  Its stopped raining (though its still a bit overcast).   And since we have a bunch of new clothes for you, and a bunch of recycled blankets, sheets and other assorted items (care of your Grandma K & Aunt R), its time for washing.  So wash wash wash.  I did three loads of nappies and a load of whites for you yesterday.  While they looked very cute they took an age to hang out – lots of pegs!   Hopefully they’ll all dry today and then we’ll be almost ready to pack a bag for hospital.   But before we do that your dad and I are going to lie in them for a bit, maybe when we sleep, so they smell like us.  Lucky you!  Smelly clothes from day one!  Hopefully then you can get used to us and our smell will be familiar and good.

the first line full of nappies - this will become a common sight at our house..

the first line full of nappies – this will become a common sight at our house..

So.  Today.  Work work work and some more blanket and sheet washing.   Only about 10 loads to go!

Hope you’re well.  Sorry about the indigestion last night – you seemed to suffer through it and wake all night too.   We’re not going to eat rich potato gratin anytime near bed again.   I don’t like vomiting at 2 in the morning any more than the next person.

erk.

love you

mum

 

my brain is a sieve. May 11, 2009

Filed under: development stages,emotion,pregnancy — rakster @ 6:21 pm
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ok. baby brain is back in a big way Speck.

What are you sucking out of me?

I can’t get it together.

-mum

 

Hiccups. Again. Its one of the strangest feelings I’ve ever felt. And Antenatal Classes Mark #5. May 1, 2009

Filed under: baby stuff,baby's feelings,birthing,development stages,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 6:20 pm
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Hello Little Spectacle,

How are things going with you?  All well with me.   You’re awake and down there hiccupping again.  It must be that time of day. Its one of the strangest things I’ve ever felt.  Apparently it could be you practicing breathing by exercising your diaphragm.   You started it last week.  And have continued almost daily since then.  There is a sort of popping kinda feeling down in my uterus.  It almost feels as though there is a membrane in there somewhere going in and out.  A bit like the silver top from an old-fashioned bottle of milk coming off.  Repeatedly.  Inside me.   So, yeah, a bit weird and freaky.   But also, now that I’m used to it, comforting in some strange way.

Antenatal classes continued last night.  Your dad wasn’t keen to go, pramway construction having reached an impasse for the day – a few little niggly mistakes in the pramway causing a bit of back-tracking had put him in a particularly foul mood.   However your craving for potato-gems for dinner (all you, not me at all) I think helped lift his spirits, as did the fact that his planned dentist visit wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be.   Thus, belly-full of fried, baked and rolled-in-sour-cream oily potato goodness (with some coleslaw thrown in for good measure), we trundled off to the hospital to meet with our friends the midwife and other pregnoid couples.   Its a bit strange but I’m going to miss it a bit when it finishes, six weeks of jokes and disbelief and panic with other couples really does bring you together slightly.   Its been really odd observing them too, and seeing how they interact as couples, what they are looking forward to, scared of, all those things.  There are a mix of people of different ages and backgrounds, but all are excited and keen and its lovely to see that too.

Last night was Caesarean Sections and Breastfeeding.  Relatively depressing really.  It was all very serious.   Your dad went green watching the Caesarean Section video, while I coped apart from the part when they showed the epidural going in.  The cutting through the stomach tissue & then the breaking of the uterine sack was actually pretty cool.   The uterine sack thing was really white and of course all the waters started just squirting out everywhere when they put the scalpel through it slightly.   Watching a white and purple head emerge from a big cut was a bit surreal.  That really freaked your dad out while I thought that bit was kinda cool.   The little baby they pulled out was very purple but quickly started to breathe and got some colour.   And cried.  It wasn’t very happy!

I don’t really want a caesarean, I guess no-one really does want any surgery if they don’t have to have it.  I think I’d find it really weird being awake through it – and it takes so long and there are so many people in the room.   I think to some extent I’d rather be able to see it than just see a big blue sheet with lots of doctors and nurses and midwives moving around behind it.  Another thing that you really don’t know how you’d cope with until it happens.

Breastfeeding is a bit the same.  Yep, they are pretty pro-breastfeeding at the hospital, which is good, but really, how much can you learn in an antenatal class???  I found it a bit ho-hum, as I’ve read a bit about it before and generally think its one of those things that is going to be hard to take in until you try it yourself.   Chatting with your dad on the way home though, he said he found it really informative and useful.  So we got something out of it.  Oh, I guess the bit I got was that if you do use bottles / express or whatever, there is no need for any sterilisation palava as long as you wash it.   Your milk, your baby, your bottles and knick-knacks, no sterilisation required.  Awesome.  That helps.

Today I took a lunch break and went down to West End and had a massage.  My back has been pretty sore and sitting at my desk all day tap-tap-tapping doesn’t help.   It was lovely.   I lay there for 15 minutes afterwards and relaxed, then gave you a massage of your own, as you’d woken up.   You seemed to enjoy your massage too and went back to sleep.   Its my way of getting you used to my touch before you come out.

Pramway - Our front yard before commencement of construction

Pramway – Our front yard before commencement of construction

Your dad is still out the front pramway-building.  I’m going to finish off in here and then head off to yoga.

Pramway is underway. Nearly ready for the decking!

Pramway is underway. Nearly ready for the decking!

love you.

mum

under construction - getting those joists in was a lot of work. Hopefully it will hold the weight of people walking up and down it for years.

under construction – getting those joists in was a lot of work. Hopefully it will hold the weight of people walking up and down it for years.