my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Baby Food – you’re onto Indian. Our little curry muncher. While your tastebuds are still developing anyhow. January 30, 2010

Hello!

So.  You tried my favourite food today: Indian Palak Paneer (or spinach and cheese curry).  I’m not sure you ‘loved’ it as much as I do, but you sure did eat some. Palak Paneer is the top of my food list. Don’t know why – just love the stuff. Actually I do know why. Spinach and cheese and curry. All rolled into one. For a vegetarian. Delightful. We make it with fresh ricotta as a substitute for real paneer, and it works out great.

Palak Paneer on the way ...

It’s coming close but you don’t seem sure

We cooked it last night for dinner, same as usual, just with no salt.  We’re getting closer to just feeding you what we eat with some slight modifications.  Anyway, I have been feeling a little lacking in iron, and was having a spinach craving, so your dad cooked it up.

Baby Food - indian palak paneer (spinach cheese curry)

Palak Paneer (Spinach Cheese Curry) for you..

And so you got it for dinner tonight as we’re running low on other home-cooked baby meals.

Eating the curry

yum?

You still prefer apples though – it’s apparent from your facial expressions.  It’s fun to watch your face when new tastes are introduced.  We’ll keep at it.

baby eating the curry

Mmmmm. Tasty?

I’ve read and heard that children’s tastebuds develop over time and it’s likely you’ll reject things you once ate happily when you get a bit older. So, for now, we’ll just let you eat a wide range and hope that somehow even if in the shorter term you start to refuse to eat a bunch of them, that the tastes sink into your subconscious and as you grow older you’ll grow back into them.

Love you
mum

 

Snaps: playing on the couch January 27, 2010

A few snaps from the couch this afternoon…

this is what the view is from where I am and you try to kiss me. Mmmm. Open-mouthed baby kiss. Only a parent could really love it.

lunging for the camera

You have a new favourite food.  Cucumber.  I can almost hear you say,

“I can do it myself, mum”….

cucumber muncher

Love you

mum

 

eating and waiting… June 12, 2009

Hello Little Baby Speck!

Well, its freezing this morning. I have my computer in bed with me and am working from there. We went out yesterday and bought two new oil heaters after plugging in our old one to absolutely zero effect the day before (I think the move back from Sydney finally killed it). And so I have the heater we bought for your room in our room this morning and I’m under the covers too. Brrrr. Apparently its five degress. Very cold for a draughty queenslander.   Your dad and I are both a little worried at how cold our house is going to be when you arrive home …  (BTW Week 38 today!  Week 38… I never thought it would come around).

Slept badly again last night. Woke at 3 am and didn’t get back to sleep until around 5:30… Then got woken this morning at 6:30 by the gas workmen right outside our bedroom window digging a big hole in our yard and discussing how cold it was last night / this morning and how many Bundy and Cokes they managed to consume in the car trip home last night because the traffic was bad. Aaagh.. You weren’t impressed either – there was some kicking down there and I interpreted it as “pissed off”. Much more violent and quick than your normal movement.

Yesterday had a spurt of energy and decided to get some things done. Hence the heater-buying. Also managed to inspire myself to cook biscuits. See – still having total cravings for sweet food. Weird. Anyway, I was inspired to biscuits after looking through the Australian Women’s Weekly biscuit cookbook. Its a book that my Grandmother gave me when I was 12 years old. I only just got it back from your Aunt R the other day – I must have loaned it to her a few years ago… I’m really glad I got it back – I thought it was just packed away in one of the multitude of boxes we have yet to look in – stored under the house from before we moved to Sydney. Its sentimental. Anyway, I’ve got it and I have good memories of cooking the biscuits. Hopefully something we can do together when you get bigger – I’ve had some practice with F as she and I used to cook them all the time when we lived next door to each other…

monte carlos – yum!

Yep, so yesterday I did the monte carlos. And damn, do they taste good if I do say so myself. I say so myself. They taste good. Full of sugar. Yum.

Today is a work day. Looking forward to the weekend 🙂

love you
mum

 

Beach holiday June 7, 2009

Hello Speck!

Here we are – we are all in a big house right on the beach at Byron.  Lovely with a view straight through from the living area and kitchen across the garden to the ocean.   The sea is a bit choppy and dirty due to all the recent rain and storms, so its not great for swimming, but the beach is good for walking… Its been a full moon, so every night you can see a trail into the distance across the waves and the ocean, leading out to a large fat full moon.  From your dad and I’s bedroom you can see straight out, so we’ve been sleeping with the curtains open and waking to the rising sun.  Lovely.

Galaktoboureko

Otherwise – its a full house and we are all having lots of fun.  Mostly cooking and eating.  Tonight we’ve got two desserts – I’ve made my greek galaktaboureko for the first time, and your Aunt St has made a gluten and dairy free lemon meringue pie…  Then for entree K has made chick pea pancake / fritters with an olive tapenade, olive boccocini and fresh lovely local roma cherry tomatoes.  There is stuffed capsicum and tomatoes coming for main, with meat for those who have that, and then stuffed squid too.   I think everyone was in the kitchen cutting, stuffing and cooking at the same time at one point,  enjoying the laughter and the good smells.  Notice I’ve started with the dessert.   Funny that is still my focus.  I’ve definitely had cravings or more like lustings for sweet food during my pregnancy with you.

Wanted to write and let you know we are still thinking of you.   L has been singing you songs as we went to the market and shopping today – he and his sister are quite excited that you’re coming to join us soon.   They are coming for a sleepover this friday night so they get one in before you arrive.  We’ve promised to cook smoothies for breakfast.  Anyway, L has been asking all about you – if you can hear yet, how big you are etc.  We’ve told him you can hear us, a bit like what you can hear when you’re underwater.   So, you’ve been getting renditions of songs learned at kindi and prep that he wants to share with you.

lemon meringue pie

And you are obviously gettting well fed.

Hope you’re well. Off to the beach for a walk.

love mum

 

excited. you are now officially full term and can come on down anytime. Week 37 hoorah. June 4, 2009

Hello little one,

how are you tonight?  I’m exhausted.  I gave up on working for a bit today and took some time out to go grocery shopping with your dad.  We now have hospital snacks for the birth bag.  And some food for this weekend!

YAY – we are going to the beach again.  S arrives tonight from Sydney – you and I are going to the airport to get her – and then after our visit to the obstetrician tomorrow we will head off down the coast.   The others will come a bit later in the day after work.   AHHH.  4 days of nothing.  and friends in a house on the beach.  and food.   I’m going to cook Galaktoboureko.   Yummo.

And we are going to swim.  It might be a bit cold.  But whatever.   I’m hotter than normal still..

So.  You’re obviously moving downwards as those sharp twinges that the pregnancy books warned me about are happening in much more earnest than before.  I believe its your head banging against my cervix.  A bit like shooting pains up from my groin.   But I’m thinking its a good pain as it means you’re moving closer to engaging.  So its all good.  Keep it up.  And you’re still totally crazily active at the moment.  Its like vesuvius down there in the lump that is my stomach.   So you’re doing something.  I have heard that generally babies go quiet for a day or two before coming out, so I reassured S today on the phone that you weren’t going to arrive early while we were at the coast.  She was a bit worried you might just pop on out.  And that everyone at the house would then want to accompany me to the hospital.  I said that they’d all just stay in Byron & then come and visit after you arrived, and that she would be lucky as she’d be one of the first to meet you.   Which got her excited.  But then she exclaimed, “But we couldn’t have the Bombe Alaska.  I mean, we could bring it to the hospital but I don’t think they’d let us light it!”

Mmm..Bombe Alaska.  See, you can look forward to a life with us of eating well.   I am looking forward to S’s Bombe Alaska and the beach…

yum yum

love mum

 

baby shower, shopping for growsuits, downward pressure and lots of washing May 26, 2009

Hello Big Speck!

Well, its been an eventful few days – all about you and you and you.

Baby shower number two was on Saturday – your wonderful honourary Aunt T & Aunt S (& uncle L) put on an amazing party for you.   Lots of games and fun and people being silly.  It was a mixed affair – so boys & girls and kids as well.  It was quite funny to look around the hall and see at one point everyone with their heads down, concentrating on writing, writing, writing.  Answers to games, and birthday cards for each of your birthdays up to 21.  Pretty cool.   Your dad was the surprise of the day – he managed to win not only the baby food guessing competition, but also the match-the-celebrity-to-their-children’s-names games.  Go figure.  I came last in that one.   Mmm.  However I did win the “how many pieces of toilet paper go around mum’s stomach” competition.   Everyone thought I was being overly optimistic in my estimate (i.e. read they all think I look HUGE and I don’t think I’m THAT big); however on checking my 9 and 3/4 pieces was a perfect fit.   See, I know how big we are.  Your smaller Uncle J managed to catch everyone out many times by getting them to say “baby” out aloud using all sorts of clever conversational tricks, and collected a lot of pegs in that peg-collecting game.   And generally there was lots of laughter and running around.   And eating of tasty dips and treats all prepared by your dad (great hommus, babaganoush, tzitizki, garlic nuts, anzac biscuits -that was me, pita crisps, some kinda meat things that of course I didn’t eat)…  Oh, and how could I forget the “spit the dummy” competition.   Not surprisingly, the men seemed to excel at this one.   It was hard to remember not to eat and spit the dummy at the same time.   🙂

your dad practising baby handling with the baby bjorn

your dad practising baby handling with the baby bjorn

Yes, and we got a great shot of your dad practising baby pacification techniques with the new baby bjorn and an astro boy doll.   He walked around with a fake ‘you’ in the sling for hours.   Not sure I’m with the ‘wine for baby’ method of settling, but we’ll see.  Open to ideas at this stage.

After baby shower action I was totally tired tired tired.   I seem to be that way at the moment.  You are waking at odd hours during the night, I’m waking myself with very strong reflux, and generally its pretty hard to get comfortable with a watermelon attached to your torso.   And the dreams are full-on.  Stressful and all-engaging.  I can’t seem to wake myself from them enough to realise its not real so I lie there for hours not sleeping thinking weird things are going to happen for sure.  Like I’m going to have to have to have a cook-off competition – muffins against some crazy person –  in order to be able to make sure I get all your clothes washed in time for your arrival.   Obviously important issues that my brain is turning over, translating into perfectly logical scenarios in my dreams.  Not.   At least I’m not dreaming you’re an alien or whatever.

So, the ‘getting things in order’ aka ‘Nesting’ bug has set-in.    Its pervading my dreams and my subconsious.   I’ve made it clear to your dad that we need the baby room ready.  We went through all the clothes and things we already had on Saturday night, and made a shopping list.   By listing all the lovely things people had already given us (lots) and working out what we still needed.   Mostly it consisted of mini-grow-suits and nappy buckets and the like.   So we  went off to do that on Sunday.   Shop, shop, shop.   Now, I generally hate shopping centres and shopping, but if I say so myself we did it pretty well,  a few major stops and we stocked-up on size 0000 grow-suits, singlets, a few pairs of socks, nappies (only found flannel soft ones), nappy buckets, a soft thing to put on the change table for you to lie on, vitamins, leaky boob pads, a thermometer for your ear.

So for day one, you’ll have:

  • four (4) – 0000 growsuits with feet
  • 3 long-sleeved 0000 tops
  • 2 -0000 long-pants
  • some socks (not sure how many you need.  We’ll send your dad out for more where necessary)
  • singlets
  • some little short-sleeved suits.  Though its a bit cold for that
  • blankets to be swaddled in
  • two caps/hats for your head to be warm
  • lots of nappies

All necessary baby things.  You got mostly white stuff and some bits of blue and pink.  There really are limited choices.   I’m not sure why its so boring, but there you go.  Stifle them from a young age maybe?   You missed out on new cot sheets as I refuse to pay more for a set of sheets for a 1m baby cot than I would on sheets for our full-sized queen bed.   Thankfully your Aunt R bought some of your cousins old ones over yesterday, so now you have something to sleep on.

On the shopping front – still to go is a baby monitor, and perhaps a breast-pump.   I don’t know how you possibly make a decision about which one of these items to buy – there are lots to choose from, they’re expensive and do you really need polyphonic rhymes on your boobs??  We were looking at these items in a baby shop towards the end of my shopping-attention-span.   I’m obviously confused.  The polyphonic bits were on the baby monitors.   As was the ability to play a CD through them wirelessly.   That is better than our house stereo.   Sorry baby, but that sounds a bit over the top to me.     Anyway, we ended up buying neither of these items – I think I’ll send you dad out when you arrive if either of them prove to be dire necessities.

Your dad has also been doing lots of things to get your room ready.  The cot is now all re-finished and ready to go!

your finished cot

your finished cot

And you?  Well, you’ve been moving around down in there quite a lot.   You and I went to the friendly obstetricians yesterday for our now fortnightly check-up.   All is good.  I peed in the jar, I managed to miss my hand (wooh! that is a good achievement when its hard to see past your belly to what you are doing down there with a little bottle), I’ve got a bit fatter, your heartbeat is dead-on average, my blood pressure is same as always (low).   Best of all, just as your dad and I thought, you have been making your way slowly down down down.   Your head isn’t ‘engaged’ yet, but its certainly lower than it was two weeks ago.  Now I can feel your head bulge right above my pubis bone.  And you kick me less in the ribs than before as you’ve moved down slightly.   So the obstetrician said all of that was a good sign – the moving down and the lots of kicking and moving that you do.   After coming home from the obs office, you seemed to have taken what he said to heart.   Yesterday was actually quite painful as it seems you were trying to worm you way into my nether regions, but they just weren’t quite ready for you yet.  Think sharp twinges and me wondering if you were going to come early.   I went for a very short walk after work and I thought that if I broke into a run (nigh impossible) that you might come flying out.   I’m sure you wouldn’t have, I guess I’m just not quite used to the amount of downward pressure that you have started to exert.   My hips and pelvis got pretty stiff and I couldn’t sit in my chair for work either – I’ve gone to the backwards on chair position, and am alternating with the fit-ball.

washing the baby clothes

washing the baby clothes

And finally.  Its stopped raining (though its still a bit overcast).   And since we have a bunch of new clothes for you, and a bunch of recycled blankets, sheets and other assorted items (care of your Grandma K & Aunt R), its time for washing.  So wash wash wash.  I did three loads of nappies and a load of whites for you yesterday.  While they looked very cute they took an age to hang out – lots of pegs!   Hopefully they’ll all dry today and then we’ll be almost ready to pack a bag for hospital.   But before we do that your dad and I are going to lie in them for a bit, maybe when we sleep, so they smell like us.  Lucky you!  Smelly clothes from day one!  Hopefully then you can get used to us and our smell will be familiar and good.

the first line full of nappies - this will become a common sight at our house..

the first line full of nappies – this will become a common sight at our house..

So.  Today.  Work work work and some more blanket and sheet washing.   Only about 10 loads to go!

Hope you’re well.  Sorry about the indigestion last night – you seemed to suffer through it and wake all night too.   We’re not going to eat rich potato gratin anytime near bed again.   I don’t like vomiting at 2 in the morning any more than the next person.

erk.

love you

mum

 

Antenatal Classes Mark #4. And you uncle is staying with us. April 25, 2009

Hello Little Spectacular,

how are you today?  Going well down there?  All is well out here.   I was feeling a little off yesterday and had a few doctor’s appointments, so took the day off work.  Subsequently today, a Saturday, feels like Sunday and I’m already all relaxed and happy.  I like three day weekends.   I’ve been out to the markets and bought some fresh strawberries, limes for coconut and lime ice cream, beetroot and lots of other goodies.

This week has been busy.  Your uncle has been staying, so our house has been busier / noisier than normal, in a good way.  Its strange getting used to someone different being in the house with your dad and I.  We are really very set in our ways.  I think its a good preparation for you coming – we’ve had to be more flexible and not do things exactly the same way.   I know you’ll create much more havoc than him, but getting used to it has been a start.  At least I think so.

Antenatal classes this week were about your birth and how to manage pain during it.  Basically talking through comfort measures, gas, pethidine and epidurals.    Again, a broad mix of people in the room makes for an interesting class.   Some women sound like they want the epidural straight away – “why even bother with trying and going through the pain for hours when you know you will want to end up with an epidural anyway?” was a legitimate question (fyi: answer from midwife was along the lines of apart from any personal sense of achievement / desire to labour naturally, doing it upright and moving about will potentially reduce the time of the labour and make it less likely for further intervention).   I find it a bit weird, I guess I know the pain relief options, so didn’t learn too much from that, but putting it in context of the labour and when most people use them etc was good.   Sounds like the ethos of the birthing centre at the Royal Women’s hospital would have been more our kinda ‘thing’, but I’m sure we’ll be ok at the Mater Private too.   I like our obstetrician and I think he’ll respect our choices.   I think your dad and I will write a simple birth plan that will be a guide if all goes 100% to plan, with the idea that we’ll just have to chuck it out and do whatever works best (naturally or medically) at the time.  Who knows.  Maybe you’ll be well behaved and your neural pathways will just guide you to be a perfect little descending head, facing the right way, getting your cord out of the way, and not getting too stressed about the whole thing.  On the other hand, maybe you’ll freak out, or my body will freak out, and we just have to get you pulled out as quick as can be.   Whatever way, your dad and I are looking forward to meeting you more and more every day.

The other weird part of the class was seeing the little suction-cap that they can use to assist pulling you out.   My goodness, its quite small, the suction cup about half the size of the palm of my hand.  But very strong suction.  You could use it as a pretty good drunk & sleeping trick on someone & give them a hickie-like bruise in a perfect 6cm diameter.  Party trick.   No wonder babies get even more misshapen little heads when they get pulled out that way.   Ow.

The class finished with a lovely video about babies and ‘dad time’.  It was about gazing and how important this will be for you to develop your neural connections, and how your dad can start to bond with you from day one by helping you practice.   And that your dad can settle you too – its not all about the boob.    A mushy, gooey video that made me and your dad feel excited and look forward to you coming.    It was interesting that in the video it talked about babies recognising their dad’s voices almost immediately, even in the hour after you are born.  Apparently your dad’s voice may be able to cut through all the background noise, whatever is happening, and you’ll focus on it.  I already think I’ve told you that I think you react to your dad’s voice even now – kicking and moving around and playing when we are talking, or he is talking to you.   So I hope you’ll recognise him straight away when you come out too.

Yesterday was another obstetrician visit.  Our doctor was away – apparently he’d had a busy week – so his fill-in was there.  He is a funny, old man who is very friendly and relaxed.  His comment when he saw me was that I’d “got bigger than last time I saw you”.   Funny that.  Anyway, all is good with you, as we knew, you’re head down, bum up, with your legs and arms coming over to the left hand side of my body, which is why I feel you kicking and moving around there.   He made your dad feel your head through my stomach – which was funny as your dad didn’t really want to, having done so already before going to the doctors, but with some encouragement (ie insistence on the doctor’s part) he did.   We were talking about it on the way home and decided that maybe some people don’t push on their tummies to work out where their babies are – and even less-so the man doing this to the woman.  We do it all the time.  But then recalled a conversation I had with other women at the antenatal classes, about where the baby was sitting, and apart from the ones whose obstetricians had told them, most didn’t know.  Which I thought was a bit weird, as I know where you are.  But maybe they don’t push around and feel with their hands?  I do.  I give you massages every day, and generally have a talk to you while I do it.  I wait until you’re awake and having a play mostly.   Other news from the obstetrician – I’ve remained the same weight since my last visit (see, some women do put on a lot at the beginning and then flatten out over time), my blood pressure is the same and good, and your heart is still beating away.   All A-ok.   Good growing.

Going to run and eat cheese, bread and figs for lunch.  To nourish you, of course.

love you

fig and cheese for lunch

fig and cheese for lunch

mum

 

 

Easter Monday. 73 days and counting. April 13, 2009

Hello little monster child,

how are you?  Well, I hope.   Its been pretty quiet down there today, but you do seem to have moved in the past few days to be further down in my stomach.  I’m pretty sure your hard and heavy head is nestled just to the right of my groin, so when I’m walking up hills I can feel it and my thigh almost pushes on you.   Else I’ve swallowed a rock and its lodged somewhere down in my intestines in that area.  Its a pretty solid head-like lump.   However that hasn’t stopped the pushing on the lungs.  I think I am going to look forward to when you head hopefully drops down more, a few weeks before you’re due (if it goes to plan) and I have some more room to breathe.   I get pretty breathless very easily, though the breathing we did in antenatal yoga in Sydney, concentrating on different parts of the lungs etc, really does help.

Its raining again.  Your dad and I went down to the Gallery of Modern Art (GOMA) this morning for a wander.  It was pouring, so we lazily drove instead of walking, as it was just too sodden.  But it was a good browse, a bit over an hour, just wandered through two big rooms and then decided we’d had enough.  Lucky its close enough to be able to do that easily.   The rain started pouring down at one point and it was lovely to be inside a huge room with lovely paintings (my favourite today was a green dot-style painting by Maringka Baker…

Kura Ala – Maringka Baker

It was also lovely to see out to the river and the new Kurilpa walking bridge being built over to the city. We can take you there when you get older and you can ignore the art and just enjoy running up and down the wheelchair access ramps outside screaming at the top of your lungs with laughter and shrieks the way the other kids were today 🙂

This afternoon we’ve had miso and soba soup for lunch, and after a break I’m going to go and help your dad finish sanding your cot. Your dad and grandad M stabilised it on Saturday with some extra bits of wood (as it is an old silky oak one and was slightly rickety), and now we’re just taking off the lacquer so we can refinish it so it looks lovely and spick in your room. Its a mini little cot, maybe it will only fit you until you’re about one year old, ’cause the sides aren’t that high. But it is cute and we think you’ll like it.

Hope you’re well and that your dreams aren’t as involved and engrossing and sleep-depriving as mine.

love you
mum

 

yay! No gestational diabetes for me. Tonight after exercise class I’m going to celebrate with cashew toffee ice cream. April 8, 2009

Hello Speck!

Lunch time.  You’ve just made your presence felt once again – you seem to get annoyed by the consumption of food – like it impinges on your space so you have to make your displeasure known by giving a few big solid movements around the stomach and lung/rib area.  I played a game with you and grabbed your little bottom and foot again.  You moved around, so I did it again.  It makes me pee myself with laughter.  It feels really strange when you’re doing ‘tent pose’ and you move around, and your dad can see it from the outside, and I can see and feel it.  You generally like it when I laugh too, and go back to sleep for a bit, so it works out for all of us.

Good news – I don’t have gestational diabetes.  My base level was 4.2 and my 2hour level was 6.2, which is ‘excellent’ according to the endocrinologist.  I’ve read some more about it, and the accepted cut-off levels in Australia recommended by Ranzcog are fasting >5.5 & 2hr >8.0. So I’m well within. Yay.  No carb-cutting diet restrictive practices required.  My iron levels however, are low.  So I’m going to start iron supplements today.  I’ve been tested earlier in the pregnancy for Iron, so I know I’ve been fine most of the time, but I have read that around 28 weeks the level of your growth kicks in again and thus lower iron is common (and apparently this growth-spurt in you can also have links to grumpiness in me – which tallies).  Anyway, I was hoping to avoid iron tablets ’cause they have some nasty side-effects, but I guess it has to be done.

P.S.  I think we will be making cashew toffee ice cream tonight to celebrate after pregnancy physio exercise classes are done.

Love you

mum

 

cooking again. Carrot cake today. April 6, 2009

Hello Speck!

I’ve braved the disorder of our house to cook again this afternoon.  Carrot cake.  Its in the oven now. So the house is hot.  I think its about 28 degrees, which isn’t too bad, but its been raining for the past four days, and just started again, so its that lovely Brisbane humid heat.  The skin pressed between my boobs and you in my stomach is exceedingly hot.  Such is life.

carrot cake before we ate it

carrot cake before we ate it

carrot cake after we ate it...

carrot cake after we ate it…

Your dad and I went for a big walk this morning.  It was a nice break and ’cause I stopped lots to stretch out my back, wasn’t too hard on it.  I slept badly again last night.  Right on time as soon as I enter the third trimester my sleep has deteriorated again and the good hormones seem to be taking a break.  Damn damn damn.  But typical.   Yoga on Friday night helped with the back, but the pain just comes back, no matter how much I stretch.  We walked around a lot yesterday too – markets, Mick’s Nuts and general back and forth.   And exercise does help, but I think from now on in its just discomfort from what the books and people tell me.  Not that it seems to bother you at all 🙂

you and me at week 28

you and me at week 28

We also had a Speck-watching event on the back deck yesterday with your Grandad and Uncle Jake & your Dad, Aunt 3 & T.  You move around so heartily that its pretty easy to work out where you are and what you are doing.  Lots of pushing up with your feet near my stomach while everyone was watching.   You were doing the ‘tent pose’ for a while, so we grabbed your foot on either side with our fingers on the ouside of my belly.  Your foot is pretty big.

As you can possibly tell from my almost incoherent ramblings, my brain is reverting to mush again. Oh well. Best to just eat cake.

love you
mum