my-speck

i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

Today i have… done so much before 9am. This mum stuff is hard work. August 26, 2009

Today I’ve

  • fed you at 3:30 am
  • fed you at 5:30 am
  • said goodbye to your dad as he left the bed to sleep somewhere else ’cause you’re such a noisy eater at 5:35 am
  • been vomited on in bed by you at 6:38 am
  • attempted to mop-up the vomit in the bed, on me, and on you at 6:39 am (you kept sleeping)
  • vaguely thought, “oh shit, I only washed the sheets, the undersheet, the duvet cover and aired the duvet yesterday, great timing!” at 6:40 am as I drifted back to sleep
  • been woken by your thrashing arms against my face at 7:08 am (you kept sleeping)
  • said goodbye to your dad at 7:24 am as he left the house
  • tried to get back to sleep at 7:25 am
  • worked out that you had woken up and were wide-eyed at 7:27 am
  • tried to ignore the fact it was morning at 7:28 am
  • conceded at 7:36 am that your grunting, exertion and ‘poo-face’ facial expression was consistent with the fact you were actually pooing.
  • calculated at 7:36 am that you hadn’t pooed for at least 48 hours
  • determined at 7:36 am that immediate evasive action was required unless I wanted a pooey and vomity bed.
  • lost track of time
  • moved you to the bathroom, removed your nappy and assisted you to complete the poo in the bathroom sink in an EC-style manner.
  • laughed as you concentrated and stared intently at yourself in the mirror as you finished pooing
  • complimented myself on my fortuitous movement of your bum back over the sink after I thought you’d finished.  Was amazed at the amount of poo one small baby can contain.
  • gave you a quick bath in the sink
  • took the nappy bucket down to the laundry
  • scrubbed your pooey nappy from this morning
  • put on two loads of laundry – your nappies and your clothes
  • had a play and a chat with you on the floor.
  • assembled my bike and the bike trainer on the back deck (having brought the bike up to the back deck three days ago and the trainer up yesterday). Step 3 complete!
  • my bike set-up and your rocker... We're feeding as I take this..

  • located my bike cleats (in the very back of the closet – who would have thought)
  • cycled for 12 minutes (woo hoo! exercise – ahoy) while simultaneously coo-ing to you to keep you calm (as you were feeling abandoned from the look on your face)
  • toasted a muffin and got some juice and managed to wolf it down
  • you and me. you're getting your fill

  • fed you again at 8:50 am while simultaneously reading my email

Gee its busy being a mum

love your attempting to get back into regular exercise mum

ps. oh, and I wrote this post at the end of the feed and its now only 9:06 am.

 

One day at a time… And one thing a day. (and gee its HOT!) August 24, 2009

Hello Poogie!

Its hot hot hot and you're just in a nappy

Its hot hot hot and you’re just in a nappy

Well.  According to the Bureau of Meteorology’s great website, its 31.8 degrees celcius today.  Which is totally unseasonally hot weather.  Its still August, so in theory we are in winter.  I don’t think I remember a winter day in August in my lifetime when it was over 30 degrees. You are sweating, as am I. I’ve been trying to drink lots of water. I think I’ve gone through at least 2.3 litres already, and its only 3pm. You’re not so happy. Just a little grumpy. I’ve got you dressed in just a nappy, and at present you’re asleep on our bed. You had a HUGE scream for about 20 minutes earlier today, unlike anything heard before. Mostly in your dad’s ear. He jiggled you about and tried a number of things to calm you. You’re generally such a placid little happy person, it was quite distressing to see you scream to the bottom of your lungs for 20 minutes. And it hurt the ears. After a cool bath, a change of nappy and some jiggling you finally decided that you did want some food and so you got a breastfeed, which seemed to calm you down. As I fed you I watched the colour in you drain from beet-red down to a milder pink then normal looking. I think it was a combination of the screaming and the heat that had got you so red. And I nearly panicked, but managed to remember to just chill, take your temperature to ensure you were ok (you were a normal temperature) and just make sure I kept calm…

my baby-mum lesson of the week

So. I wanted to let you know a lesson I’ve learnt and do need to try to stick to – it just seems to help with your sleeping and feeding, and my sanity. First part is just to take things with you one day at a time. If I wake up and I don’t feel well, I’m tired or you seem cranky, its totally ok for me to just cancel any plans we might have and just relax. Which included leaving the dishes in the sink if needed. Yes, when you reach parenthood I’m sure the books you’ll read / advice you’ll be given will stress this, but it’s much harder to do than it sounds. I’m getting there. I don’t think your dad is quite on par with my need to do this some days, but my sanity needs it. Not every day, not even all that often, but when I do need to do this, I really need to. Something like a mental health day from work. Though I still have to look after you, just have a day when I try to do less. Unscheduled.

The next step is my having learnt a rule – only one thing / outing a day (apart from walks, they don’t always count). Again, much harder to do than it sounds. Its a big momentum change from not having a baby like you to look after. So harder ’cause its so foreign. I’ve found myself on some days thinking, “oh, I’ll just pop out and get x done too”… Hours later when we get home and I can’t collapse in a chair from exhaustion because I have to look after you and you’re cranky ’cause we did too much – I regret this decision. I’ve been a bit slower than I perhaps should have learning this lesson – I’m blaming it on my hormones and tiredness. But now I think I’ve got it. So. We plan a maximum of one outing a day now. Sometimes it could be one outing with two stops – today was mum’s learning group at the Child Health Clinic and then grocery shopping as the shops are next door to the clinic. But that is it. Now we are home and I’m washing and you’re sleeping and we won’t go out again.

So. I’m writing it down to convince myself that its a rule. ‘Cause every time I break it everything is harder. Yesterday it got broken, and I was exhausted and didn’t sleep so well. You weren’t too bad..

Off to drink some more water and make some more milk.

love your boobie mum

Its SERIOUSLY hot. And you're very serious..

Its SERIOUSLY hot. And you’re very serious..

 

Maternal Love Overload August 19, 2009

Hello Little Poogie,

YOU ARE SO CUTE.

Yes, I’m shouting.  Cause you are the cutest baby on the planet.  In my slightly, oh just slightly, biased opinion.

This is just a quick note to let you know that I haven’t been writing because I’ve been consumed by you.  You take up all my day.  It used to be just feeding and sleeping and washing and the like.  But now that you are awake more and practising talking noises, its playing, reading books, talking practice, discussing politics etc.   Well, I talk to you about politics.  That conversation is  a bit one-sided.  Goo-goo ga-ga is more your style.

Anyway.   I’m not sure what has happened, but in the last week or so something has definitely gone on with my hormones.  They have kicked in with a big shebang once again and just made me fall totally head-over-heels in love with you.  Crazily. Scarily.  OMG if someone does anything to you I will tear them limb from limb with my bare hands – slightly psycho-ly.

Just so you know.  This may well pass, but right now I’m all loved-up and you are the best.  Even when you do large explosive foamy disgusting smelling poos that leak out all through your clothing, your wrap, into your carseat, and seep down through the holes into the car.

poo!

poo!

No, I don’t like cleaning it up, but I still love you!

smiling and talking

smiling and talking

love mum

p.s. you are 8 weeks and four days old today.  And two months exactly tomorrow!

smiling!

smiling!

 

A-OK apart from a cracked ear.. just skin leakage August 10, 2009

Filed under: healthcare,Parenting,Raising a Child — rakster @ 9:45 pm

Hello Poogie,

its all ok.  We have some cortisone cream and you’re going to live.  THe ear infection is not an ear infection at all but a painful and raw case of dry and probably mum-hormone related skin damage.

Not too much crying.  And the source of your irritability today has been established:  the sticky mess that came out your behind has made you feel a lot better.

erk for mum and dad though.  Your dad was on bum-clean duties, I did nappy scrubbing.  No dry-pailing for a mess like that.

love mum

 

Old MacDonald and smiling August 4, 2009

Hello Oscar!

Guess what – you’ve really started to smile in earnest now.  It started last week, with a few vague and tentative smiles at me and your dad, and now it has progressed to definite smiles, and yesterday I got a first giggle.   Your little dimples come out, and as you have a toothless grin you look adorable but at the same time there is a slightly scarily uncanny resemblance to The Joker.

So – what elicits a smile in a six-week old Oscar? Well, definitely booby. Yes, often when you’ve drifted off to sleep or just a 2-second cat-nap while feasting your little heart out on wholesome breastmilk, you just relax your head back and I get a huge “I’m blissed out and everything is wonderful” smile, often with a bit of nipple still in your mouth. Its kinda rewarding to know that you’re happy down there and I’m providing everything you could possibly need in terms of sustenance and nutrition, and not only that, you enjoy it!

Sometimes you just like to smile when you see your Dad and I or you’re trying to talk to us.

And the best way I’ve found so far to get a smile out of you is to sing “Old MacDonald had a farm”. Yes, lucky you! You definitely recognise the song now and smile when I start to sing the tune. Works a treat with the smiles too. Why do you recognise it? Well, its the only song/tune of a nursery rhyme/baby tune that I can actually remember at this point. So apart from the nonsensical babble songs I make up and sing to you, Old MacDonald is the staple. So its a good thing that you seem to like it. Though it is, I have to admit, starting to bore the crap out of me. There are only so many times you can sing it to yourself before you start to invent animals that couldn’t possibly be on old MacDonalds farm and try to do the noises. Depending on my level of tiredness, this either is a fun game to amuse myself with or just tiresome ’cause I realise how little I know about animals sounds and what a lot I have to learn as a mum in order to live up to the best Old MacDonald standard. The best effort I’ve done so far is Old MacDonald’s dinosaur farm, though past the teradactyl I’m not sure I got even an approximation of what other people might think dinosaurs sounded like.

And at this stage, regardless of what I do with the animals, you love the song. So I guess I’m on the right track…

So – on the to-do list.
1. Learn some more songs to sing to you. This might involve downloading some or something as I just can’t recall the tunes for any really. Oh, maybe Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear. But that is only 5 lines long and again will get boring pretty quickly!
2. Learn some more exciting farm animals so I can vary Old MacDonald a bit more.
3. Keep on singing to you. As I’ve told your dad, until you get to the age of like seven, I reckon you’re going to think my singing voice is like the best thing you’ve ever heard. As such a phenomenon hasn’t ever been seen before (i.e. someone thinking my singing voice is the best thing ever), I think I have to ‘milk-it’ for as much as I can get. Gotta be appreciated for something! So be prepared.

love and kisses (and smiles)
mum

P.S. Best way to get rid of a smile? Try to take a photo!

 

keeping on with blogging August 3, 2009

Hello Oscar!

You’re no longer Speck.. you are growing rapidly by the day. But I think I want to keep on writing – as a sanity-keeping-measure for myself more than anything. I found this outlet really great when I was pregnant with you, and now I’m a SAHM* I think I’m going to need all outlets possible to ensure I stay sane as I navigate the daily adventure that has become looking after YOU!

Oscar and Cat (six weeks and two days)

So, I’m going to continue to babble away to myself in general about daily life, motherhood, the complexities of baby products and all sorts of other random things. Oh, and mention incessantly what food I am currently eating, craving or salivating over (today is EATING: zucchini and fetta muffins – for reference!)…

So watch out baby. Actually I should watch out. It may be incriminating. Bad mother practices and all that….

Love you
mum
* “Stay at Home Mum” or as I found on dooce “Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker”. Ooops I’m a mum now. Should I still be swearing? Oh well…

 

Oscar Joins Us – album June 29, 2009

Filed under: Parenting — rakster @ 1:13 pm
 

my-speck – the blog October 16, 2008

Filed under: Parenting — rakster @ 8:50 pm

Oh my god I’m having a baby!

It shouldn’t be a shock but it still is.

****************************

Dear Poogie (babe #1) <December 2009>,

I wrote this entry and started this blog – letters to you (my first babe) – the day I found out I was pregnant, October 16, 2008. . And I decided, with your Dad, to call you Speck. ‘Cause that is what you were – a little speck. My little speck.

speck is noticed

the first visual evidence

The first evidence – the little pink lines seemed pretty unreal. I was living in Sydney, working as an IT consultant, playing frisbee, cycling to work and generally eating and drinking and socialising my life away with your dad. And though I was really excited to find out that you were coming, I didn’t want to tell anyone but your dad for a while in case things went wrong (I’m a born optimistic pessimist), so I figured that writing to you (my little speck, a little fertilised egg) and sending my anonymous thoughts out into the ether (read: the internet via a blog) would be a good option for me. And it was…

As the weeks progressed, I used this blog to get my feelings about you out. Writing to you was a way to channel or direct my feelings, relate my story and just get on with enjoying it all. And it really did help. I knew it would all change as the pregnancy wore on, and that feelings like this are fleeting and only happen a few times in a lifetime. So I wanted to capture it. I also remembered a book I had seen that another mum had written for her daughter, detailing life before she arrived. And this little girl loved the book and pored over it and the photos in it. And I had somewhere to write about what I was feeling when I was still keeping it secret from the world at large. Therapeutic.

So that’s how it started. A bit of an outlet. And a compendium of evidence that I was really having a baby ( the week 7 picture to prove it , the week 10 pictures to show how big you’re getting ) to convince myself that this slightly unreal feeling was in fact real. And that I needed to prepare for you. BIG lifestyle adjustment.

you: a fertilised egg and yolk sac

the first ultrasound image of you: week 7

Speck you are bigger!

10 weeks old and A-ok!

Ultrasound at 19 weeks. You sucking...

Ultrasound at 19 weeks. You sucking…

So, I wrote a bunch of entries while I was pregnant…. And went through lots of changes: week by week, trimester by trimester.
I grew a lot.

the growing bump - week 19

the growing bump – week 19

week 21 belly shot

week 21 belly shot

pregnant belly at 22 weeks

pregnant belly at 22 weeks

you and me at week 28

you and me at week 28

week 37 huge pregnant belly!

the mound from my perspective

the mound from my perspective 38 weeks

But then I also ate a lot.

tofu laksa

tofu laksa

mango

mango-fruit at 8 weeks

cake at 9 weeks

cheese at 8 weeks

cheese at 8 weeks

pie at week 16

pie at week 16

baclava week 16.

baclava week 16

ryzogalo - yum. week 17

ryzogalo – yum. week 17

muffin and chocolate week 22

muffin and chocolate week 22

fig ice cream - week 25

fig ice cream – week 25

ice cream cake - week 27

ice cream cake – week 27

carrot cake week 28

carrot cake week 28

friands week 29

friands week 29

fig and cheese for lunch week 31

fig and cheese for lunch week 31

canelloni week 32

canelloni week 32

Galaktoboureko week 37

Galaktoboureko week 37

raspberry smoothie - week 36

raspberry smoothie – week 36

monte carlos week 38

monte carlos week 38

And lots more in between. You can read all the highs and lows…

And then you arrived: 20 June 2009…. I started a birth story while in labour, but funnily enough didn’t manage to complete it at the time… Have written a bit more with the end of the story but haven’t published it yet. Cutting to the chase – you came out through my vagina without any drugs or intervention and you were amazing. And your dad and I were the proudest people in the world. Like most new parents.

you at three days old

you at three days old, snuggling with me

And now you’re getting bigger and older by the day and I’m still writing. While your actual name is “Oscar”, I refer to you as Poogie. It reminds me of your maternal great-grandfather. He used the word a lot. So you’re my little Poogie.

And that’s where we’re at. An Australian mum and a Canadian dad with a new baby boy in Brisbane, Australia. I’m still at home looking after you, and your dad has just started up a new business, working from home some of the time. So we’re just newbie parents and business owners, all adrift in the big wide world. Negotiating the days of new parenthood with both excited expectations and trepidation. Making mistakes and doing some things right. But enjoying watching you grow and learning all the time. From you. For you. For us. And this blog is my letter to you about it all.

My Speck.

Love and kisses
mum

*****