i'm pregnant and it's going to be a rollercoaster

… Maybe Hashimoto is an ok person after all November 14, 2008

Filed under: emotion,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 11:20 am
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Good morning!

I feel today like I’m getting more accustomed to the thought of you being around. Still very weird and I’m sure it’s you disrupting my sleep patterns, but easier about it somehow.

Went to the endocrinologist today, and she says that all I need to do is keep taking the tablets and repeat blood tests pretty frequently in order to keep Hashimoto under control. She also said that while you do use my thyroid’s T4 at least up to around week 13, when you develop your own thyroid, I am only just under the normal range now, so we found it in time and you should be AOK just fine. Yippee! So you should be fine, your dad and I can stop panicking (well, I can stop panicking and he can stop trying to have to reassure me), and we can continue to be excited about you coming along. In 32 weeks! aaaaahhh!!

Woot! Anyway, I’m feeling all happy and good and excited and looking forward to the weekend.

Love you & your grandad says hello too this morning.


Hashimoto and me.. November 13, 2008

Hiya Speck,

so its been another rollercoaster day, with a bit of crying, a bit of laughing, a bit of singing and now a bit of writing.

The crying:
I didn’t tell you the other day ’cause I didn’t think it was necessarily anything, but one of my blood tests came back with a funny result so I went in three days ago and had some more. And I found out today that based on those I have Hashimoto’s disease.  Woot.  What does it mean?  Well, from what I can gather my white blood cells are attacking my thyroid, and so that might be contributing to my general feelings of exhaustion and inability to concentrate. Though of course, that could just be you also.  You can have a read of what the mayo clinic say if you want:  Hashimoto’s Disease. Bloody Hashimoto. Anyway, felt fine at the doctors when he was telling me but then lost it when I was trying to pay and when I rang your dad to let him know. Makes me feel old. I find it hard to believe that I’m only 32 yet I’m going to have a disease which I have to take medicine for all the rest of my life! And – I’ve already told you how much I hate blood tests – I have to have them relatively frequently to monitor it. Erk!! Anyway, it sounds like for you it might be bad news too – but hopefully we’ve found it in time & it won’t affect your development. I’ve had a search but can’t find much information about it – if I was taking a drug the whole time I was pregnant apparently its ok and little effect on you, but not sure what it means that I’m 8 weeks pregnant and only just starting. I know you don’t get your own thyroid gland until later, so hopefully you just don’t need anything at the moment…

..was going to write more but the tiredness is inescapable. going for a nap. love you.



a picture November 12, 2008

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 12:35 pm
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you’re a week older now than this photo. its a bit blurry, but its you on the right, nestled up to your yolk sac on the left. Your heartbeat was fluttering around in the middle of you – made your dad very proud.Speck - there you are!

i suspect you’ve grown a lot this week. hope so!


.. November 10, 2008

Filed under: emotion,pregnancy — rakster @ 4:44 pm
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sometimes it just hits me like I just found out again. aaagh. What am I going to do?? It will be there forever (hopefully).



First swim November 9, 2008

Filed under: exercise,pregnancy — rakster @ 1:23 pm
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Heya Speck,

first swim for you today. We went to Coogee this morning for a dip cause the weather was beautiful. The beach was full of thousands of surf lifesavers, but it was still fun – had a bit of a swim, the water was cool but not freezing, and we floated out on the waves for a while. I was feeling pretty crappy last night: sick, tired and just erk, so it was fantastic today. The water was a nice clear blue green colour and it just felt good.

Hope you enjoyed it!

love mum

ps your grandad just rang and he says that you have much less than a 1/4 chance of falling out, its more like 16%. He quoted statistics at me to make me feel less worried, i think. So good for him, and good news for you !


Good-day November 8, 2008

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 1:34 pm
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Howdy Dudy Speccie,

We have some good news for you – we’ve found someone to help bring you into the world when you choose to come on out, so it won’t be your dad in the kitchen with a carving knife (phew! that would have been messy).  Your poor dad was so freaked out when we rang about ten obstetricians on Wednesday and couldn’t find one as they were all full for June next year already – he went white and started to sweat a lot; masking his anger.  I kept trying to tell him to be happy, but it appears he is almost as much of a worry wart as I am.  Anyway, you have someone here in Sydney and someone in Brisbane, so whenever you choose to pop on out it should be ok.   That is, unless you choose to pull the plug before then cause you don’t like it, in which case we’ll both be really sad.  But it’s still a one in four possibility.   Please do hang on in there, we’re waiting for you out here with great excitement, promise we’ll do some fun stuff!  And you can’t leave without having tried stinky blue soft cheese, which you are NOT getting at the moment as it is off my eating list, so you simply HAVE to get big enough to try that ’cause it really is one of life’s best things.  In my opinion.

Also, there are now more people eargerly awaiting your coming.  Your grandparents now all know about you and seem very excited.  I bit of surprise, I think, but happy.

What else is happening?  Well, I came home last night and after eating two icy poles and some fake cheese promptly went straight to bed for a nap while your dad was at the pub with friends.  I awoke some hours later feeling just as grumpy as when I had gone to sleep earlier, but with more mussed-up hair.  Your dad came home and wanted a kiss and I felt like telling him to jump off the harbour bridge.  That’s how good it was yesterday.  I tried to explain that I was feeling a little testy, but I think it was reading Kaz Cooke week 7 that made us both feel better.   Apparently its common for me to feel like I would rather he not touch me unless with a 10 foot barge pole, and for me to just want to sleep all weekend.  Pity that isn’t an option.

Today is rainy but a kind of nice, stay in bed and rest day.  I had uni all morning and have just got home, think I need a cat-nap before I attempt to write an assignment which I have to finish by tonight.  Erk.  Not so fun.

I can’t believe that all women wait so long for babies to grow.  How do you keep a secret like this for so long & then how do you cope with a growing body for another six months after that?  By the way, if the growth in my boob size over the past week is any indication, I’m not going to be able to stand up due to the sheer weight of my bossoms when I’m more pregnant.  None of my bras fit.  Since the beginning of this week I have been daily washing a single bra that is made of stretchy material and even still cuts in a bit.  I hope they shrink again at some stage.  Its coming up to summer too – so I’m going to have to find a new swimming costume that actually covers enough skin – I suspect my old one is already going to be indecent.

So, going for a nap.  Hope you are well, thinking of you (in a non-panicked way today, yesterday was a panic, day before so-so)…

love you



hiya! you are there. and you've got bigger November 5, 2008

Filed under: exhaustion,pregnancy — rakster @ 10:15 pm
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Hiya Speck~

good work!  you’re now a more sizeable blob down there in my uterus.  Just slightly bigger than the yolk sac that is beside you..  And you’re due on the 25 June 2009 cause apparently you are exactly six weeks and six days old.  So yes, I must have had my dates all wrong or my body was all confused after the operation, cause that doesn’t tally with anything.

Anyway, pleased to say your Dad and I are very excited.  And worried.  There are apparently no free obstetricians available for the time you’re coming that haven’t already been booked out.  How does that work? I guess you have to come out regardless, so we’ll just have to cope.  But hopefully find one in the meantime.  So, we have your first printed photo.  Its a bit blurry, but that might be ’cause your heart was beating.  At 168 beats per minute, which is apparently in the normal range for your ‘age’.

blah blah blah. my mind can’t think straight, so I definitely can’t get a cohesive thought out to you.  Its jumping all around like a .. I can’t finish the sentence.

Tired, exhausted after a night at uni after finding out you were ok.  Your dad has aged about 3 years in one afternoon.  I think he is shocked.  But happy.  But shocked.  He jumped out of the chair when your heart beat.  Good on you!

Sleepy. Going to crash.  Its also a folding washing avoidance technique.

Love you



Exercising and checking up on you. November 5, 2008

Filed under: exercise,healthcare,pregnancy — rakster @ 11:10 am
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Did I mention last week that you played your first two ultimate games?  Well, you did.  Last week we went down in both games, and last night you played your third and fourth and we went down again.  You’d better not be an unlucky talisman: though to be honest I think it was more to do with the team as a whole than any influence you had.

You also had your first bicycle commute to and from work on Monday this week.  And my legs are feeling it today.  Go 9 weeks without riding and then try it again, and it hurts a bit.  I even went in granny gear almost the whole way and got overtaken by every man and his dog.  Sore legs despite all that.  I’m hoping to keep riding with you for a long time though I’ve read that my balance might start to go a bit funny at some stage and then it will be harder and potentially not as safe to ride.  We’ll see how I go.

So! Big day today for you.  Its the second time we are going to try and have a look at you and see if you’re growing well & all of those things.  I’m taking ten minutes out from work to write to you, cause I’m feeling slightly distracted / worried / excited / nervous and happy/unhappy all at the same time.  Its at 4pm today, so I’ll have to hold out a number of hours more.  Lets hope its all good for you and you’ve got bigger, developed a heartbeat and look a bit more like a tadpole than just the indiscriminate blob you looked like last time.  No offence – I’m sure you were beautiful for your stage of development, but I’m not quite reconciled to whether babies are cute really at all, so going for a cute blob is definitely pushing the boundaries.  Don’t develop a complex over it, its not worth it.  You’ll change :)

So, see you later this afternoon, don’t take offence at the intrusion into your world – we’re just checking up on you.

love you specky



Sick again November 4, 2008

Filed under: pregnancy — rakster @ 1:31 pm
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So another day another bout of nausea. Inexplicable timing, doesn’t seem to relate to anything that I have been able to pinpoint. Last night it was just after your dad made my dinner and I had tried to eat some. Cheese enchilladas, so nothing icky or strange about it. Ten pm after I made it home from a uni meeting, your Dad very kindly made me dinner, I took about 3 bites (I was starving) and then felt like vomiting.  Lovely.  Big thanks to him – he wasn’t so impressed.

Today it was in a meeting at work, the subject of which was definitely not the most exciting, but not bad enough that i’d label it nauseating!  I managed to keep the gagging feeling down, and hopefully no-one noticed.  Yuck.  So, i repeat again, I really hope this is helping you grow down there ’cause its mighty uncomfortable for me out here.  As your dad said last night, good thing its me that is feeling sick and not him, cause otherwise both our lives would be miserable – he is a terrible sick person.  I wonder if you will be the same?

Melbourne Cup is today.  I have bought a few tickets in the sweeps..

Hope you’re well!